The best way to manage your expectations is by not having any. Much like your expectations on successfully selling anything here should be nonexistent cause ain't nobody fallin' for it.

I read the title as it saying something about a lost airport terminal, I was about to tell you to go find it...but as that's not the case. Go away, please.

I want a heart so bad. But, it can be a beautiful or vile thing. Maybe it's to powerful for me. So God didn't permit it. Heartbreak can cause people to do some insane things like kill there partner. I've heard it literally hurts so much. That's crazy I will never understand. Walking that thin line between great elevation and severe pain. What does it all mean? I just have my mind and spirit. And, it's still easy to get corrupted. I can't imagine the influx of corrupted emotions in the mix. But, I'm willing to take that chance. People have so much hate in there hearts it's become vile. Maybe I'm as free as I am and can think straight because no one has damaged me. But, still a life trying to build meaning out of nothing is not a life. But, yall scare me with your hearts some of them are vile some of them are beautiful. And, it's also the fact that your fragile. That scares me the most. If my gf broke up with me I'd be happy for her because she deserve someone better and i'd help her stay on her feet till she find another cause I care for her. But, if I broke up with my gf she would be devastated. Cause she has one of the most beautiful hearts I ever seen. It would hurt me and I would be sad if she broke up with me I would just be happy someone accepted me for long as they did considering how broken I am. In my book the angel can't do no wrong. I don't care how much I helped her with money took care of her kids helped her family that wouldn't make me mad at her. It was a honor to invest in something as pure as you and be apart something greater than myself. You cared for me the real broken me and I can never repay that. You made me feel it your love is so powerful even the heart I don't feel moves for you. It's beginning to know better than to be a selfish fool. You make it wrestle to care. And, when it's not wrestling you make it natural to care. This heart betrays people. The fact that you got it in line even a little is a testament to your love. Why does it wrestle to see your blinding light you offer because that means if would have to change. Why can't I take your hand fully and walk into newness. Your worth it. Your beyond worth it. The hand that saved me. I struggle to grab your hand when you need saving. What is wrong with me I hate it why am i so weak what benefits would a heart bring me.

pay gorn

I found the perfect practice for a narcissist like me. Who doesn't care when stuff gets hard. It's to try not to worry Jesus. I been worrying about myself and what can he do for me and not caring about how much all this hurts him. That's ok for a normal human pretty normal development path. But, I'm a narcissist known for being selfish what a perfect thing to practice to decrease someone else worry and carry burden cause I'm definitely not good at it yet. I been real with God told him no more performing from me no more fake. If I don't want to do it I won't until he puts a heart in me. But, I found myself understanding how beneficial decreasing someone worry can be to a guy like me. So I'm back with the program the voices don't like it they was quiet all week till I decided to start back giving a care about God that let's me know they trying to keep me from something valuable or they wouldn't be fussing. I might can't feel love but love is more than a feeling it's a action. I don't know nothing that puts more pressure than God if I can still love him care for him not worry him despite how much I hate burdens. Then I can maybe grow strong enough and smart enough to care for the people in my life. Edit: my selfishness has diminished in relation to God i don't know by how much yet. I just had to know my place I'm not normal so I don't get to complain and be selfish with God expecting things but don't want to do things for him or care about him. I can actually learn from how not to twist love when burdened. I'm already deep in selfishness and took a hard look at myself and I think something has to be done to strengthen my resolve to care about others. What best way to start by caring about God surely the trails and tribulations will come and test me though i hope they don't. Not sure I'm gonna ace but I got a new mindset to try and a goal that might be in line with God goal. I been acting like I'm normal instead of someone who has repeatedly failed to love others because it was to hard. Before I flunk I gotta carry some burdens. The flesh doesn't but the spirit do. So some kind of way I gotta get strong.

So I found a unique way to start practicing my Japanese again. I went to a japanese V-Tuber's twitch channel while they were streaming their gameplay and I just typed in 'konnichiwa'. Apparently she even had an auto-translate to japanese hiragana bot in her channel which was really cool. The VTuber was happy that I was trying to learn japanese and taught me some really important phrases I'll share with you guys: 「って感じ」 (tte kanji) — extremely common in casual Japanese. It means something like “that kind of thing,” “that’s the vibe,” “something like that,” or “basically.” Another phrase she taught me was「知らんけど」(shiran kedo). It literally comes out roughly as “I don’t know, though”, but in natural conversation it’s more like: - “...but I dunno.” - “...I think, anyway.” - “...don’t quote me on that.” - “...or something like that.”

Everyone operating with some level of the curse blindness. Part of the curse broke when I smoked weed and my ex gf said you not as good as you think you are and my consciousness shattered literally and I gained awareness of myself for the first time. Another part of the curse broke when I got schizophrenia and the voices unveiled my darkness to me in a way I couldn't ignore or stay blind to it cause they bombarded my mind with it. Though they wasn't trying to help they just wanted me to sink into the abyss.

Curses are real and everyone been effected. The most prominent curse is the curse of blindness. White people got hit the hardest. Even with there beautiful intellect they can't see. To be able to hold you back my brother is something you don't deserve. Your more beautiful than you think. But, these curses have blinded us all. Whether they be from God or the devil none of us deserve this. They curse you hard my brother they know how powerful you are. They know how powerful we all are together. They want to diminish the profoundness of our hearts and minds. Brother I know your profound inwardly but fate is against us all. Look at me I have more spirit then I know what to do with but cursed with narcissism unable to experience the meaning and depth of emotions. Fate is a cruel mistress to have the woman and family of my dreams but cursed to not be able to soak it all in. They want us with savage hearts and minds. That's why they push rap music to taint our minds early to decrease the profoundness of our nature. Society is built to produce the savage heart. People be like I'm a savage as if it's cool. Brother I'm a coward a weak man but even I when faced with death still speak. I can not help it. It's who I am. They want you to resonate with the savage heart feel like it's yours. They bombarded us with propaganda, movies, music, before we even know we are. Brother I do not blame you for your people attempts till this day to taint the well. You being held back from greatness is what hurts me. Not the kind they would have you resonate with. I see you in a much deeper and meaningful glory. But, we are but men against the wiles of the devil and fate we are stifled to no end so brother don't think you have to be more than you have to. Just know I see you in beauty even if it's not unleashed. I believe in the future so I count your potential beauty I am dazzled by it. I don't just write you off as never having the potential for beauty and profoundness. If this hurts I'm sorry I don't understand what others feel I just know how to speak the truth. I would invest in you even though we are but fallible men. Can't help it I see a spark of something great I would help nuture it if I was calling the shots. Not diminish your profoundness and beauty.