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Real life picture of me and what it's like to be a narcissist. We will do anything not to grow up. We just want our needs meet or we get angry. Your not the baby I'm the baby. Imma baby how am I suppose to meet your needs. I need sleep and to have my needs meet all the time. Yep take a look at the baby man the most deplorable branch of humans. It is what it is. I'm getting stronger though enough to act my age. A baby doesn't have strength for the road ahead. Only a man does. Take a look at this man baby yall boo this weak man. Hurting others because he don't want to grow up. Boo the fucking narcissist a blight on the fucking world. Go ahead I deserve it. I been fighting but many times I choose comfort over growth. I think just because I did the impossible I can pat myself on the back. I'm still a fucking man baby. Just because i grew up a little which they say is impossible I became happy. Look at this fucker think he can do the bare minimum and escape the reality of being a man baby saying yeah look at me I took my first step but I gave up because it was hard but I'm Learning. Little nigga everything fucking hard. No body wants to hear about your puny steps. You should be moving already. Everyone else moving they don't give af how hard it is. Who tf do you think you are where you believe you can get away with giving up when shit gets hard. You know how many people you hurt? Taking steps isn't optional of when the baby feels like it or when the baby learns to take a step. You know how to take a fucking step. Don't delude yourself just because you fighting a disease that they say impossible to beat and you made progress that you a decent man. You know in your spirit what it takes to be a man. Delude yourself if you want you can't get time back. No one should like you don't give af because your fighting when you complete what's you know you should complete in your spirit then maybe you can have the luxury to worry about that. Worrying about if people fucking like you smh. You lucky to even have someone in your life who fucking loves you. You know you don’t deserve her. Tick tock mother fucker what's it gonna be grow up and show up or go to sleep like a little kid and pretendyou have no responsibility. All this luck in your life and you moving like you had it hard. You even know how lucky you been. You know everything you been gifted. You know nothing about Adversity. You think you know because you fight this disease how about you complete what's in your spirit and I'll acknowledge that you went through some shit. Don't ever let me catch you thinking about why am I not liked again. Like you deserved to be liked. You funny you don't deserve shit i don't care how unfair the illness is. Count every blessing you have and don't forget it. Sorry I had to give myself a stern talking to.

Oshi no Ko S3 I knew this anime had a fairly dark story line, but dang. They went from pretty lighthearted to pitch black so fast. Talk about an emotional roller coaster. Maybe binge watching it wasn't a good idea. You need the time in between the episodes to emotionally digest it... Sheesh... I need to go watch something soft fluffy and lighthearted just to bring myself back to an even keel

Mental illness…a lot can be said about this topic from my personal experience. Tbh didn’t used to be the best person to associate with on that. When my feelings got hurt in the past I would equal it back ,because growing up that’s what my mother did a lot. I was exposed to this majority of my life, and didn’t realize how bad it was until I got away from it all. To those I hurt in the past I did apologize to. For the first time I looked at myself hard in the mirror and envisioned the type of man I wanted to be. To still keep my soft side but toughen up. To be gentle even when hurt. To communicate my emotions effectively with others instead of blowing up. All this was the goal for me, and spent a long time on that process. Still am honestly. Been hurt by many in the past and still struggle to let go of some pains. Most I did for it’s out of my control, because why stress when you can’t change it? There are some who still wish me ill and to wish I stayed down in this life, but one thing I learned about me is that I never stay down or shut the hell up. However, instead of directly lashing out or wanting revenge, I chose to succeed in areas where I excelled at. Helping others gives me purpose to my life to inspire. People come to me now for help and depend on me, and honestly I never imagined that before with how scared I was to be a pillar. The smallest confrontation scared me shitless before. I would always run and cry. I’m proud of who I am becoming.

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