I'll never understand people that insist a fictional piece of media needs to represent real life ideology or social norms. Particularly if said individual will defend parts of that same media as harmless entertainment (i.e. murder) however a character is depicted having narrative views on society that does not align with theirs and now the discussion becomes why the author hasn't been held legally responsible for real life crime statistics. These types of people should become self aware of their own hypocrisy. You want horror in entertainment, which has been argued as having the potential to inspire real life serial killers, yet it's an author's choice to depict a character a specific way that elicits a need to call for action. The video I was watching was a 3 hour essay about why this individual loved a specific murder mystery. Then when they broke down and analyzed every character that was involved the conversation shifted into a TED talk about the real life dangers of showing specific types of fictional characters being murdered in said murder mystery. These folks need some serious help. "It's ok to murder folks in fictional media as long as you don't murder the characters I identify as in real life, tee-hee!"

Here are my views on the duality of schizophrenia aka demonic oppression the good and the bad. As a narcissist schizophrenia came in clutch right when I was on the cusp of insanity. I was severely delusional. My ego was big and consuming all it could to feed it self. And, I thought I was perfect. Schizophrenia busted down the door like swat and gave me a shock to my system and kicked my teeth in. The the voices started calling me ugly, evil, fake, delusional, and saying he thinks he's perfect. This shock to my system woke me up when typically a narcissist doesn't have awareness. This shock and the validity of what was thought of me acted as a counter balance to my ego and caused my ego to collapse and re assess right when it was on the cusp of insanity. The darkness they was bringing to my attention had opened my eyes. I saw my darkness and for the first time was not unaware of it. Before schizophrenia I thought I was making strides towards awareness. Then the voices came and showed me I don't know shit about myself. Them challenging my beliefs about myself and overall trying to overwrite my beliefs entirely put me in a much needed survival mode. God let it happen so who I am can stand in a storm. Yes it was tortures and added another layer of delusion. Like the time I yelled at my upstairs neighbor like they was doing it to me and I knocked on there door to confirm. I had some wild delusions but over time I came to realize that the voices may not be delusions but they want me to be delusional. Over all schizophrenia countered my narcissist condition. I spent years battling narcissism and schizophrenia and rebuilding my ego from scratch under the voices scrutiny till the things I know about myself could stand throughout the storm. When I started standing the voices became less useful. Because I wasn't wallowing in despair anymore and learning about my darkness. I was standing with the information. They don't want you to stand with the information. The darkness that once opened my eyes was trying to close them. Cause they want to overwrite my beliefs with the darkest ones. When that shock was necessary I'm happy it happened because I needed my ego pushed back against and even destroyed some. But, I no longer need that shock to my system. They don't want you to be proud of how far you come and to have self compassion on your self. To acknowledge your achievements. The voices want to destroy your self worth and any emotional vulnerability you have. They want you to listen to them that your below human and deserve there torment in belong in a headspace of no compassion by them and no compassion on yourself and no compassion from others. But, I outgrew that and no longer need that shock factor. The voices aren't useful anymore I'm thriving. I have no intrigue, interest, or familiarity with them. I just take my meds and ignore them. I know they just want me to despair. The initial shock was good but it's not needed anymore the darkness trying to close my eyes now. Just some positive and negatives of demonic oppression. God used the evil for good. The voices would of like if it destroyed me. All in all schizophrenia needed to happen to me. So I don't even blame God. My ego before schizophrenia was so out of reality I don't know where I was headed. I'm thriving and the voices are of little use to me. But, maybe that's a lie I find it keeps me on my toes with there little reminders of my darkness cause the voices act as a unwanted reminder that cracks my rigid ego and makes me face the uncomfortable truth of my many failures. Something a narcissist refuses to face on his own accord. Though they exaggerate my failures and darkness to try and overwrite my beliefs and light which I don't appreciate but I always learn from being thrown into fight or flight. Though I'm kinda outgrowing the whole hurt me so I can see gig. When I learned how pain blinds you. Some pain is good for waking up the system but to much blinds it. And, all they bring in is pain so now I filter it or just straight up ignore them. I'm waking up on my own so I don't really need the wake up call. Though I'm still a narcissist I'm taking my baby steps. One day I will be able to run. I definitely don't need to be in the pit of despair and getting beat up to learn. Those days are over. That's not the way. Though there little abusive reminders won't kill me I know how far I came and I can have compassion on myself. Is this stuff not suppose to be talked about I don't care about the spear of influence or the game plus I'm a narcissist I don't know. Edit: Anyway I'm lucky and it's best to ignore the voices like doctors say. They could've caused nothing but chaos like screaming with nothing helpful at all.

I had a feeling Reinhard and Reid were related by the hair and eyes alone before factoring in their unmatched martial arts capabilities.

Listen, if I was getting married the only thing I would be buying her is a Ring Pop! https://sweettreatsin.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Blue-Raspberry-Ring-Pop.jpg Cause we ain't no suckers!

I tell ya what, today I had some surgical precision done on my big toe! Felt that needle go straight into the bone! Ain't not joke watching the doctor peel the skin back with blood squirting everywhere and the dude is just casually talking to me about my job, heh. Dude asked if I wanted to help in my own procedure and handed me the forceps. Ya know, forceps, the thing you people keep advertising on here. Yeah I got to wield the almighty power of the forceps...with precision when making the incision! It was a marvelous experience, you should have been there!

I went with my mother the other day to see Sheep Detectives featuring Hugh Jackman as the shepherd. The story wasn't what I expected in a good way. I might have shed a manly tear or three...*sniffles* https://youtu.be/JSsGiEabHPY?si=CmNIO43m39JJSL6v

"Calm is what you have to be when people look to you, and it's all you can be when things are out of your hands" - Colonel Hsu, Fallout New Vegas