Forgetful Mommy ®

My gf smile is slowly bringing me to life. The horror of being seen as inadequate, imperfect, and undesirable is leaving my nervous system or mind. The more time I spend with her the less I worry and the more happier I become because I'm not bracing myself. She says I'm fun when I find myself boring. She says I'm caring when I don't have empathy. She says deep down I know you care about me. When I'm worrying if my care is even worth acknowledging. A mirror that only shows flaws is a lie. I got to see her views of me and that matters because she's someone who loves me. The mirror I use has no love for me only disdain. It only shows flaws. With her views of me I'm starting to forget that haunting mirror even existed. Must be because there's a fuller image I can now view. She makes my life fuller and I believe her when she says I do the same for her. I'm beginning to trust what she says about me and accept a fuller image. I see her beautiful loving smile and it horrifys me that once she knows me it will fade. But, she does know me and still chooses to smile at me. The horror that says your unlovable was throughly blown away by her love. I had decided on my own that I'm unlovable. And, that haunted me. But, my gf said who decided that lol. She is proof that my fears are just fears not reality. I'm also finding it easier to be close to her. My nervous system is getting use to it. And, even seeking and enjoying it. Though I still get over stimulated but it's lessening.