WillWorkForIsekai

Here is the breakthrough I made with Jesus. I now know why us narcissist have no recollection of warmth. It's because we spent our life's performing and afraid. We never been introduced to it. The only reason warmth is breaching / reaching me because I peeled away layers of the mask. I broke the mask of perfection. But, under the false self the real self feels dead / empty. But, that's not actually the case emotions just need coaching out. It's all about memory. I had no memory of warmth because I was either to scared during tender moments. Or to scared to put myself in them. I'm now paying the price for using the false self. Because the false self only remembers it moved by fear. The real self was never exposed thus never moved thus never grew. I never felt warmth without the condition of performance. Now that I broke the mask I'm being exposed little by little and I'm beginning to form memories of warmth not fear. It's because of this new memory of warmth I realized I've been afraid my whole life. You can't pick up on warmth when your to scared performing. Because you letting fear run the show. If I stop performing I actually have a chance of having tender feelings coached out of me. So my soul can remember them. Starting over with the real self is crushing but worth it. Because the false self has no recollection of warmth it can't form it. It's to busy performing cause it's scared.

Being apart of my gf family is touching me in ways I never been touched before. I never felt what a happy family feels like. Cause all I caused was broken homes. It feels good to grow in love for family. And, to know I'm finally smart enough thanks to Jesus to not be what they say I am. I want my kids under this happy atmosphere of me and my gf love. I broke the mask of perfection but under it I felt empty or dead. But, that's a lie I been telling myself. Tender feelings just need coaching out they are there.