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WillWorkForIsekai @willworkforisekai
WillWorkForIsekai @willworkforisekai
Don't beat your self up from what I seen your a nice person. I hope you know and believe that. If you feel like you want God to work on you more just know that he is. Sometimes we go through storms and God is silent. But, from my experience the storm brings about innerwork. I know we get frustrated with ourselves and become impatient but God hands are always on us at all times all he asks is for some patience and perseverance so he can finish the work he started in us. I can tell you God will finish that work he started in you. And, one day you will be happy with yourself and feel all the suffering was worth it. But, don't beat yourself up a mirror that shows only flaws is a lie. Your a good person and I can tell you have a big heart. I pray God helps you with whatever you need help with. Feel better.
Mommy’s Random Thoughts
Forgetful Mommy ® @wei_ying
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Mommy’s Random Thoughts
Forgetful Mommy ® @wei_ying
(7:04 PM Sat.) I'm crying over a heart that was given to me today. I haven't been doing my best internally lately...I keep doubting myself about certain things happening in my life recently and, in all honesty, just being a huge jerk to me. It's something I have been really fighting against and yesterday I just went to sleep early (for me anyway) and silently cried myself to sleep (I didn't want my sisters to hear me). Before I drifted off, I remember asking God to truly just help me with myself, because I know I am my own biggest enemy most days tbh...and I even told Him that sometimes I feel like I don't hear Him anymore or He's not listening to me (which I know isn't true, but I felt honesty with God is better since He knows it all).
Today, after our mom came home from grocery shopping with our baby brother, she rushed downstairs and burst into the closet I was sitting in (cause it's cold over here recently), excitement on her face as she cups something in her hands. She tells me that she almost forgot to give this to me, but she found it after exiting the store she went to (which is truly surprising as our mom hates picking up random items from the ground outside) and really felt like I needed this item. My mom un-cups her hands and within them is a bedazzled heart (I really love hearts/heart-shaped things). It's kind of dented in one corner and is missing exactly three sparkles, to which mom apologized for giving me someone else's junk, but...she truly doesn't know how much I love it and needed it.
God immediately spoke to me after my mom shut the door...He said that He always hears me and loves me. That just in the way that my mom looked at that dirty, slightly worn and busted heart on the ground but still saw the value in it, that He still sees value in me no matter how battered and weary I may feel at the moment. So, yeah, I am forever treasuring this little heart I've been gifted forever. ❤️
Forgetful Mommy ® @wei_ying Now I'm crying again (good tears, don't worry). Thank you, Kai, for the kind words, I needed to see that. ❤️
WillWorkForIsekai @willworkforisekai
WillWorkForIsekai @willworkforisekai
That says alot about you setting it to hard mode. Pressure makes diamonds. I don't know who tf set my shit to hard mode they a asshole. I'm not made for this shit but I'll find ways. Shout out to you pain is a good teacher you must of gained alot from it I bet. Good game to you to sir.
vectorphresh @mrvee
vectorphresh @mrvee
I hear ya. The kind of Inner work that feels like a voyage into deep space… that you gotta plan for the trip back. I went down the rabbit hole plenty and faced some dark nights. Came to an understanding about the universe, but no more hard reboots… meditation only these days.
vectorphresh @mrvee Sometimes it’s too much for me too, and I’ve been through enough pain to fill a few lifetimes. That’s the reason I know, because I can’t explain how I got here or why I held on to my beliefs through it all.
All experiences help us grow, and sounds like you’re on a similar journey. I like to say I set the game to ‘hard mode’ before I started. A good game well played to us both.
WillWorkForIsekai @willworkforisekai
WillWorkForIsekai @willworkforisekai
Your a bigger man than I. I don't care about the universe. I just want to do it to let pain be my teacher. Knowing about the universe is to much for me I'm a narcissist. But, atleast your brave enough to explore. Respect.
vectorphresh @mrvee
vectorphresh @mrvee
I hear ya. The kind of Inner work that feels like a voyage into deep space… that you gotta plan for the trip back. I went down the rabbit hole plenty and faced some dark nights. Came to an understanding about the universe, but no more hard reboots… meditation only these days.
vectorphresh @mrvee Sometimes it’s too much for me too, and I’ve been through enough pain to fill a few lifetimes. That’s the reason I know, because I can’t explain how I got here or why I held on to my beliefs through it all.
All experiences help us grow, and sounds like you’re on a similar journey. I like to say I set the game to ‘hard mode’ before I started. A good game well played to us both.
what are you doing right now?
WillWorkForIsekai @willworkforisekai
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what are you doing right now?
WillWorkForIsekai @willworkforisekai
Just came from a interactive immersive art museum with my gf.
the narcissist
WillWorkForIsekai @willworkforisekai
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the narcissist
WillWorkForIsekai @willworkforisekai
My gf likes to give me kisses and hugs for long periods of time. We had to talk after I asked AI what should I do if I have dark thoughts and my nervous system gets over stimulated and I want to escape from prolonged closeness. AI said I shouldn't self violate and endure it for her happiness. AI said I should talk to her. So I did. I just told her I'm still learning how to recieve love so shorter durations of closeness won't overwhelm me. And, that I love all the affection she gives and that she did nothing wrong all she's doing is giving me unconditional love. It's my fault my system can't recieve it. I told her she doesn't have to hold back loving me because she said she just misses me and loves me and wants to cherish our time and me and not have any regrets so I told her it's fine just give me a break once in a while so my nervous system can process and reset and get use to closeness. She was happy I told her how I feel. Seeing her cry from how much she loves me touched me so I can remember this closeness doesn't want to hurt me it's only love.
