Your Hidden Problems (Safe Place to Discuss)

If you have any problems you been keeping bottled up inside, please feel free to open up in here... I have been having mental illness since 18 years old. On meds. I don't really wanna go into the whole thing right now but I do wanna say this, not everyone with a mental illness is dangerous. Just cause it's portrayed in the movies that way and on the news they report people with mental health issues are running around shooting everyone or stabbing or whatever doesn't mean everyone that is mentally ill will do that or even think about doing that. I haven't signed in, in 2 days. I was improving over the last decade or so and on great meds but the meds make me oversleep being the main issue I have with them. Yesterday morning at 4:30 a.m. I had a hallucination and after 20 mins realize I should take my meds and within the next 40 mins it went away. I haven't had hallucinations since my early 20s. They started at 18 years old and by my mid 20s they were gone but left something behind. Something I called "the feeling" the feeling of being watched but not actually seeing it anymore. I learn coping skills to lessen it and by my late 20s it wasn't nowhere near of an issue. I also have some other symptoms but maybe another time I'll discuss it. Only 1 person on MO I told I had a mental illness and no one else over the last 7 years of me being here on MO. The reason I'm bringing it up now is cause of the recent problem I had and I bounced back since early yesterday morning. I want other people with mental illness to know, yes you probably will never get rid of it. Just keep taking your meds, talking to your doctor and therapist and even family and friends and hold in here. Please don't give up hope and close yourself from the world. I did that originally and it set me back for so long. You are stronger than your illness. The more years that pass the better you can be at solving the problems you have from using the tools you learn over the years.

My father's eldest brother suffered from a similar disorder as did their mother. You are not the only one for sure that has to go through that form of anxiety. I can only imagine the pain and frustration that has put you through, but I hope you're doing well. As you said, these types of illnesses are complicated. Always trust that you're in control of your body and mind even when life isn't making much sense to you. Hallucinations are a legitimate problem, however panicking in those situations is the real danger. Never doubt your own self control for a second. It's the strongest piller to keep oneself anchored.

Sorry to hear that Gabriel about your uncle and your grandmother but I do understand that mental illness is often passed down through the family. My fathers side of the family had a long history of mental illnesses. Yeah I know many people have to deal with similar problems and I wish them well and hope they can remember to fight it out and never give up hope even if they often think hope is useless. The first step is to get on medications followed by doctor and therapist visits. Also if you have other people to talk about it with, that will help greatly too like family and friends. They can be just as important as the doctors and therapists Thank you Gabriel ^_^. When I originally started I was so angry and frustrated and the night I snapped when I was 18 and broke down my mom said she thought she lossed me that night for good. To be honest without her compassion and helping me along with the therapists and doctors and meds I might not be any better with my outlook on all of this Yes, totally agree with you on trusting that you are in control. Yes, hallucinations are a huge problem and no lie I did panic cause it was totally different hallucination from the ones I had a long time ago but later that morning I was trying to remember panicking isn't helpful. Correct Gabriel. So true. It will help with staying anchored Thank you for your understanding, compassion, and insight ^__^

I know what you're saying to be true. The importance of being able to get help makes all the difference. Unfortunately for both my grandma and uncle, the medical science wasn't there to assist them. All they had was a group of people in a small town who simply ruled them as a little strange until both of them reached their respective breaking points. No one knew what to do or how to help them. Though pills were offered to my uncle he found them to make him physically ill. It didn't help the hallucinating amplified his feeling sick as if they were trying to poison him. So, it isn't a joke when you say everyday is a battle to survive. I believe you.

That's a clever way of creating headspace in your home. You may need to invest in a bigger room to fit that oversized ego of your's, Snake! I feel confident headbanging is more common a practice than people realize. Self harm is a quicker way to shock oneself back to reality. My brother informed me that apparently some people found submerging themselves in ice water or pouring cold water on their head created a similar shock that could help snap a person out of their negative thoughts. Apparently it was something a man going through suicidal depression discovered on accident while trying to drown himself in a lake during winter. He said as soon as he hit the water it reawakened his body's natural urge to stay alive. Afterwards he snapped back to his senses. He would continue to take cold showers in the morning to replicate the sensation. It might be worth looking into. @solid_snake95

Yes, it does make all the difference. And I really wish your family members had better help back then but yeah medical science back then wasn't no where near as good as todays Nothing is worse than having tons of people judging you for something that is out of your control or hands. I stayed at him for long periods to avoid that a long time ago. I can relate to your uncle and grandma feeling that everyone thinks your weird and making their own opinions on you. I never experienced any problems with pills in making me ill but sorry that it happen to your uncle. I can't imagine something that supposedly is going to help to be just as much of a problem. It can take awhile to get on the right meds tho to help keep the symptoms more hidden. Unfortunately your uncle appears to have had no luck with any and his hallucinations seemed to be extremely hazardous to his health. Especially the longer the hallucinations go without much of a solution can lead to deep, deep depression and trigger more serious hallucinations and other symptoms too. Sorry to hear that Snake. Is it okay to ask the reason why?

Trust issues mainly. I've been used and abused by pretty much everyone I've ever known, family especially. I find myself often going well out of my way for other people only to be treated like garbage in return. Best way to deal with it seems to just be to avoid people all together, since nothing good ever seems to come from getting mixed together with anyone.

Living to be honest... and having responsibilities that steer me away from the obvious choice. Still sucks to think that out of the many swimming cells, the one that made it never wanted to...

I'll share something personal about myself here. Disclaimer, I've dropped a lot of information which isn't relevant and kept my emotions somewhat intact whilst trying to keep this concise, remember that there are good parts to all things and we should remember them for what they were and not what they become. I was with a great woman who suffered Narcolepsy, Hearing loss and survived a cerebral brain aneurysm operation. For the best part of a year in 2019-2020 I had met this lovely girl in University. Turned out she was an Otaku which fed really well into our dynamic as a couple later on when the pandemic started in before 2020. We begun a long-distance relationship, we didn't meet much though due to pandemic. I Managed to meet her a couple times but long story short you can imagine things were good... for a while. I had never felt so attached to someone in my life dreamy as it were. We begun struggling in our last year of university, that's when things got difficult. Her family had begun to pass away grandparents and relatives alike... December onwards she was hospitalised near death, she had developed a cerebral aneurysm that required clipping along with a very delicate rehab whilst under a lot of stress and fear. Note* I had not heard from her during this period of time between their death and the aneurysm, so a month passed and she managed to contact me, I was glad she was okay after hearing what happened till that point and yet many more months would come and go... I could not visit her as much as I wanted to, when we did have have contact I was overjoyed and supported her the best I could she expertly avoided my questions and led my doubts astray. By this point I had spent far too much time worrying about her half a year and more in which we had small blips of contact, she could not finish university and I moved on from Uni with her in mind. Then sometime after she told me in her nicest cold brutal words that despite how well I had treated her and everything I gave she was leading me on and cheating with someone else she told me I deserve better, which is a terrible excuse I didn't want better I was hoping that I would be enough for her. I'll just say that I am finding it very hard to commit myself to anyone again and I definitely wont allow myself to develop another borderline personality disorder with blind faith and delusion in that same kind of hopelessness. To keep the fun intact I want to express that people need to rise above their hopelessness, your efforts will pave the way. That's the story of my breakup for the netizens of MO to read in brief.