So I found a unique way to start practicing my Japanese again. I went to a japanese V-Tuber's twitch channel while they were streaming their gameplay and I just typed in 'konnichiwa'. Apparently she even had an auto-translate to japanese hiragana bot in her channel which was really cool. The VTuber was happy that I was trying to learn japanese and taught me some really important phrases I'll share with you guys: 「って感じ」 (tte kanji) — extremely common in casual Japanese. It means something like “that kind of thing,” “that’s the vibe,” “something like that,” or “basically.” Another phrase she taught me was「知らんけど」(shiran kedo). It literally comes out roughly as “I don’t know, though”, but in natural conversation it’s more like: - “...but I dunno.” - “...I think, anyway.” - “...don’t quote me on that.” - “...or something like that.”

Everyone operating with some level of the curse blindness. Part of the curse broke when I smoked weed and my ex gf said you not as good as you think you are and my consciousness shattered literally and I gained awareness of myself for the first time. Another part of the curse broke when I got schizophrenia and the voices unveiled my darkness to me in a way I couldn't ignore or stay blind to it cause they bombarded my mind with it. Though they wasn't trying to help they just wanted me to sink into the abyss.