I struck Gold so I'm happy before her my dick lead me everywhere it wanted to go. No woman ever truly knew me because I didn't know myself. This is my first relationship with a connection other than sex. I didn't know what I was looking for I just sleep around to feel the the all consuming void. All my relationships before was because I wanted to have sex with them. It wasn't till I had a awakening in 2019 brought on by my ex gf saying your not as good as you think you are while I was high and that tore my mind apart and birthed my first some of awareness as a narcissist. Then we broke up and I began to analyze who I am what I am. Years of fighting narcissism and schizophrenia later I meet a woman from overseas. And, I told her who I am not leaving out the narcissist and schizophrenic part and she accepted me. And, for the first time the void that could only be filled by sex was filled with authentic connection. Lot's of people don't even know who they are or what's broken they just trying to feel the void with sex and cuddles. Sex can be a driver for better behavior or worst behavior and the relationship could be nothing beyond that It wasn't till someone accepted all my flaws and told me I'm not a monster that I felt enough love to care back the same way. If I knew myself before all those relationships maybe they could of worked out. But, I needed to be isolated for years to understand narcissism. Sex is a powerful driver my behavior depended on how much sex appeal you had and how often you give it up I was shallow beyond that. Now I meet a incredible woman who is the sweetest thing ever and I accept all her flaws like she accepts mine. I'm finally a participant in one of the most cherished dances of life and I'm not unaware anymore that I'm a participant. I don't deserve to be out on the floor I can't dance the dance of love but she said she will work with me. She even slows it down so I can keep up. This is the first person I ever made happy with my dance. Who told me your not a horrible dancer. I like the way you dance. Though I'm still afraid I can't keep up. I don't want to tell her to slow it down. I want to impress her more. But, she's patient and know I don't know what I'm doing. She's just the sweetest thing. Who I don't deserve. I find it strange that people think young humans would get it right the first time. As if we don't learn to perfect ourselves over time. That's why it's rare for the perfect relationship. Perfection is uncommon. It would be strange if it was common for young people. The right information can only do so much from keeping them from making a mistake. Mistakes are what's common we live in a fallen world not a perfect world. Just my opinion.

gilga is best! best! https://64.media.tumblr.com/9a5ca9cbe95a6acc07dae33e7ea9c255/22c4ec44de79276c-26/s500x750/7e89c24e3677137f3a7eecd9d08544980144f66a.gif

Recently picked up The Ravages of Time. Taking my time with it since it's really long, but it's been a really great read so far.

The Major sings his love of War. https://suno.com/song/746c0b9a-4d1b-4286-9d4e-5d8c19111513

https://youtu.be/lnQLsfz6uv0?si=n1Mao39KescMytOe https://youtu.be/Zi2JqeYgB7w?si=9OXYmd5Ze_9fUo65