Be a man push your emotions down so you don't appear weak till you blow up and kill your family. Works every time. Edit: Cause you know if you never admit as a pillar that your weak how are they suppose to know your about to break from there added pressure. Then boom you can catch them off guard. Instead of asking for there support. If you tell em your weak they might think lesser of you and disrespect you instead of caring for you they don't care about your world or want to communicate and you can't tolerate that so tolerate it and pretend to be strong the pillar of the family until one day just the slightest pressure breaks you because you was carrying it alone.

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This is a very thought provoking poem right now I'm kinda obsessed with thoughts about weaving and Tapestry and how God weaves versus how I want him to weave and also noticing the threads between those I love is getting stronger thin but stronger. Also, kinda curious how strong these threads can become within a narcissist I guess time will tell. Just had some insight about layering and distance and time and God. Time to think I'll edit this later. Got some insights but can't bring it together. Another day then. “Life is but a Weaving” (The Tapestry Poem) by Corrie ten Boom My life is but a weaving Between my God and me. I cannot choose the colors He weaveth steadily. Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow; And I in foolish pride Forget He sees the upper And I the underside. Not ’til the loom is silent And the shuttles cease to fly Will God unroll the canvas And reveal the reason why. The dark threads are as needful In the weaver’s skillful hand As the threads of gold and silver In the pattern He has planned He knows, He loves, He cares; Nothing this truth can dim. He gives the very best to those Who leave the choice to Him.