Desires

what would you guys say you want out of life? Something you want more than anything else that maybe motivates you to keep going?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4fndeDfaWCg Had to.lol To find a semblance of peace and happiness, a balance, if you will. While I've some great things to be happy about, my mind is never truly at peace and im either in a constant state of depression, anxiety or both. Perhaps in the end, that's when I'll have peace and if so, that's what I shall live for.

I want to be financially free and independent. I want to travel more. See new places, try new things. I would like to foster stronger relationships with people or at least find the motivation to. @yaasshat "my mind is never truly at peace and im either in a constant state of depression, anxiety or both" I have that already without children. -_-

@verucassault Mines clinical/situational... Soooo... Tomato, tamato. My children are my great things, even when they stress me out.lol Oh... I'd love to talk of things at length, but I don't want to look as though I need or want pity. As a man, we are often told to "man" up and admitting faults, weakness or problems are not deemed things a man should speak of. So, I find it difficult to verbalize or in this case, put into words the meaning or depth of everything. Soooo.... Is what it is. Financial free and independent... That sounds nice. Not bloody likely, but nice.

I have a couple desires built up over the years, but I don't think I'll share all of them: A few however are finally being financially dependent with my family after suffering years of poverty and lack, I am thankful for the experience though, we treasure the small things all the more so when something big comes we can truly enjoy it ^^. Being a missionary and spreading God's word to anyone willing to listen. Honestly just helping people (in general really), but especially in the same situation as my family and I were in. I know what it's like to be homeless for a time and in poverty most of my life, I guess I just want people to know through my testimony that there's always something to hope for. I truly desire to give a sliver of hope and faith to someone else in their time of despair and whatever struggle they go through (edit: even if it's by just living my life for them to see that gives them hope), because life is truly worth living when you push on. I know how it feels to come to a point where you may not believe it at the time, but holding onto that tiny hope and joy is better than nothing ^-^. Those are the things that keep me pressing on for greater. How God has been good to my family and I in the good and bad, my family themselves and just thinking about my life and how my story could help someone else. I don't care how hard things get...I don't want to be selfish and leave this earth too soon when people could use me, I know I can push through for myself and them (edit: I also just desire to live my life well and in peace no matter what things look like around me)

Well, here's what I've lost after ego death. My desire for romance, status or image, money, my ambition, and my old hopes and dreams. It is what it is. Here's what I still covet: Knowledge. Understanding. Compassion. And the lowkey desire to make life better for any who enter my orbit long enough to leave a mark. And of course any stranger that asks. My main reason for existing now adays is to see where things are heading, keep people safe, and bring the occult and spirituality out of mysticism, and into the realm of observation and pragmatism.

I want to be a successful mangaka. I've been working my ass off on this thing and it's the last marketable skill I have that I can still do with a nerve disease that took everything else. I want to get me oldest sister out of our abusive mother's house. If I really make money, I want to start programs that help people that fall through the cracks between government assistance eligibility and actually making it. I know one too many people neglecting their health because of costs.

Hmm...that's an interesting thing to think about. I have objectives I set for myself. Fix house, learn new skill, etc. I want to learn more about the afterlife. When I went to that haunting infestation in Salem I had so much responses from the dead on the spirit box I feel like I can learn a lot more. I also want to see how far AI can be pushed. How far can AI go until it can achieve true sentience? I think it can be achieved in our lifetimes. When that happens, will humanity cease to feel lonely, or will they become more isolated than ever? I don't know if I have a true sense of purpose, but an ample amount of curiosity and objectives that fill more than one lifetime.

@arc The key to modern paranormal investigation is looking for those patterns and strings of intelligent responses. You're doing that part right. I've already conducted enough dowsing sessions and astral conversations with my brother that I have an idea of what goes on over there. You die. You're a ghost. You're stuck in your body for a short time, bound by the salt and iron in your body. Body breaks down, allowing you to move freely. Direct sunlight hits you. You end up back in your body. You wait till night time. You leave again. Phasing through objects isn't as easy as you think, and uses up a lot of energy. You find some organic flowers left as an offering. You take in the energy. It sustains you. You reach the edge of the graveyard. There's an iron gate. You try to leave. You disperse. You awaken back in your decaying body. You look for something to feed yourself, but lack the energy to move very far. You fade and experience "2nd" death. You end up a spirit. As a spirit, you find you are more lucid, but it's harder to interact with the physical. You are no longer in etheric existence, but you wouldn't call this heaven. It is the astral. Looks like your old dreams used to. You are greated by friends and family. You travel great distances in an instant. You explore somewhere spookey. Some massive shadow tries to eat you. You end up in some fae realm. They try to keep you there. You leave. You find yourself in someone's dream, and find you can control some things. It turns out to be someone still living whom you had a close connection with. You disguise yourself as a llama and chase them around. You go back to the astral. Some dude with a living aura is talking to you like he doesn't realize you're dead. Most living people walk around here like sleep walking zombies, but this dude is just an astral projector. Dude looses consciousness. You go back to your family. You gravitate towards whatever is on your mind. You also don't fart or use the bathroom anymore. You find a group of paranormal investigators. You get asked to move something over and over again. You don't manage to, despite your efforts. They loose their patience. You make a fart joke. Someone makes the exact same joke, as it just popped into their head. That creepy shadow is back. You try to tell them to leave. The creepy shadow stops you from speaking and hijacks the session. The investigators get Zozo-ed. You take some of the energy they released in their panic for yourself, then overpower the depleted demon, and send it back through a vortex. Do you get any thanks for it? No. They splash salt at you.

Huh...I thought ecotoplasm was ghost poo. Or spoot, I guess.