Random thoughts...

@yaasshat My condolences for your son's loss of his grandfather. It appears he at least got to spend enough time with the man to create lasting memories that hopefully will serve him well in the years to come. As for your apathy, I can empathize with why you have that view of your former wife's family. That said I feel you did the correct thing by at least acknowledging your son's relationship is different than your own with how he's tied to them. It goes without saying human connections are layered with many different intersecting paths with people coming and going throughout each individuals life. One person's experience can genuinely be different with the same individual you personally had difficulty with. Both circumstances can be true based on his and your personal interactions with said grandfather. Loving your son and understanding why his relationship was more positive than yours with the same man shows you have the ability to discern others' feelings in a healthy way. My family is equally fragmented. My mother and I often clash because her relationship with specific family members tends to be more negative than my own. Often she'll say in front of me something very negative about these people that were important to myself. In regards to her mother, my grandmother, she'll vent her frustrations even knowing I didn't have the same experiences and had nothing, but love for my grandma. I as the son/grandson have had to compartmentalize both my mom's and I's feelings into separate categories to maintain peace between us, however I do find myself hurt when she still comments disparaging thoughts about a woman long dead for decades. All this to say, I would only advise being guarded around saying anything negative about your son's grandpa in front of him in the years to come. We often times don't realize how our offhanded words could be affecting the people we most care about when we do. Hopefully whatever experience you genuinely had with the man you were able to at least bury with his casket and move on with your son's brighter view of the world as well as his future with that side of the family.

Thanks @gabriel_true . And I'm well aware of minding my feelings(And my mouth.) . We're all human and with that, I can still feel for the ex and her family. However, as a dad, how my child is feeling, that trumps all of that. He's doing as well as is to be expected for his age and is currently running his little sister ragged.lol

I been getting compliments for my gf family and my gf. They say I look kind and calm and handsome. I'm proud of how calm I am. But, sometimes I worry if I'm boring. But, my gf says she likes how calm I am. She's a simple woman to please. Sucks I lost alot of my personality doing extensive repair to my mind. But, all the negative impulses were put in check. We are past a year and she hasn't seen my symptoms yet. And, just thinks of me of a great, kind, calm, and handsome man. I'm happy she's happy with me. I'm starting to be happy with myself. All the over anayzling myself. All the what if scenarios I put myself through. All the cross referencing with others. All the darkness I had to be exposed to and not succumb to it to learn. All the shame and guilt I could not part with because I felt I wasn't good enough or ready to be entangled in life with others. All the times I hurt myself so change can take place. All the psychology and philosophy I learned to be better grounded. All those things helped me make someone happy. Really happy. For more than a year. Just a shame how aggressive this disease is that it took 5 years to be ready to re enter the world. I'm starting to think I'm a good man. But, my gf is just one piece of the puzzle I got right. I still got work to do before I can consider myself that. But it feels good finally getting it right and not having to look over your shoulder afraid of the next impulse you can't control. Or having to look back and say why did I do that. Or not having the karmic debt eat away at your mask because you haven't hurt this person yet. I feel good.

@arc https://media1.tenor.com/m/gRnPiR82No4AAAAd/dance-coffin.gif

https://i.ibb.co/qgq5t4B/1.jpg https://i.gifer.com/POF9.gif

I was looking for new work boots because my company was offering me a credit to pay for them and I happen to see a pair of boots that were "half-off" going for roughly $250. I said, "The hell are these things priced normally if $250 is the 50%?" Sure enough they went for $500. Ain't no way I'm paying $250 let alone $500 for a pair of work boots!

Soooo... I wouldn't even pay $250.lol I suppose that's why my feet hurt.lol I got my Timberlands at Ross and they've been just fine. I think they were originally $150 down to like $60. Cat's ain't to bad, either. They better massage my feet at $250 and above.lol