Random thoughts...

At a certain point, you just combine tasks. Got dinner to cook, laundry to do, a house to clean and a screaming toddler? No problem! Toddler helps with laundry (AKA throws it everywhere.lol) while you cook/clean up the inevitable mess and try to quell the screaming feral mini human. I can exercise as I chase said feral creature, too. Multitasking!!! Sleep? Ha! Silly adult, you don't "need" that.lol

And when you run out of time and energy, next is your sanity. https://media1.tenor.com/m/zP_C5PLM2vUAAAAd/mello-mello-death-note.gif

I want to feel, again. Why is it that when something that should FEEL devastating, instead leaves me feeling numb and almost indifferent? I only feel for one in this situation and that's in an empathetic sort of way... I don't like the me I am. Like, not even in a "woe" is me sorta way, I just don't like this version or at least this part of me. I'm sure someone with book smarts could put a name to it, but it's cold.... Or maybe jaded?

@yaasshat Jaded sounds like it could be an accurate way to describe how you feel, it means: "lacking interest or desire because of having experienced too much of something." And the synonyms are: "Tired, Exhausted, Weary, Depleted, Worn out, and Burned out." I know it won't help any...but I hope you are able to keep up that feeling of not liking that part of who've you become, cause to me, that shows you care/still want to care in a way. And it's better than feeling content to stay there in that cold place, even if it's uncomfortable to be there in the first place, I think you should hold tight to that dislike as hard as you can so you aren't completely consumed by such a feeling.