The " Nice guy" and "Friendzone"

When I was in college I had a silly goal to try to have a good realationship. That is, I wasn't looking to "settle down", I just didn't want to be with a different person every month or weekend. One person I met up with in particular told me there was no spark, or chemistry. I didn't understand it at the time and instead blamed myself and men in general for not being able to have a relationship. And while I still cling a bit to that mindset even now, after these years that have passed, I finally understood what he meant. I have met people before that I couldn't have anything with but a friendship. The thing is, it's not a girl thing or a guy thing. It is relentless and applies to both. I would also like to put forth that not all women deal in extremes. As far as money goes, I just prefer someone who has a job, goals, and isn't a bum. I don't want to be in a relationship with a clown either, but a good sense of humor helps. Annnnnd not all women take and take the shiny. I've gave just as much or more in my past relationships. Just my opinion and insight. I kinda felt the need to defend my gender from some of these posts.

I think when it comes down to it, what people are really upset about, besides the heartbreak, is the wasted time. If you put a lot of time and effort toward a goal and it doesn't pan out like you thought it would, you're bound to get upset about it. I mean, if any of you are like me, you do a lot, whether that's academically, career-wise, or recreationally, and you kind of have to measure out the time you spend with other people that doesn't involve anything you're already doing. But when someone comes along that you have feelings for, you end up not minding spending a sizable chunk of time with them. Late nights up on Skype when you could be sleeping, dates that last long into the night when you could be working on a personal project, etc. But again, you enjoy that time spent with that person, regardless of how much time it takes away from other things you're doing. But then either you try to move forward with that person and they snub you, or they just up and start dating someone else. Suddenly, all that time you spent with them is kinda wasted. You enjoyed yourself, sure, but you didn't get anything out of it except memories and maybe an empty "sorry" from the person who just broke your heart. I'd say it's perfectly reasonable to be upset about that.

I think the friendzone is only real when both parties remain silent about their affection of each other. It sucks, but it is kind of a custom that us guys have to make the first move. Personally I don't see any problems with that

It kinds of make me laugh when some people say that they're in the friendzone while they're not even giving the smallest of hints to the girl they love. It's like they think being nice score them points and when they have accumulated enough the girl will instantaneously fall in love and have sex with them. Ok maybe you're not looking for sex, maybe you're looking for love, a great relationship and comfort from a girl that feels the same about you, but there are very slim chances that she sees you as a potential love interest if you keep looking like that: http://pre04.deviantart.net/1a9b/th/pre/f/2010/173/5/7/bunny_by_chibi_oneechan.jpg I'm not saying one should be a bad boy, a douche bag or a sexually aggressive psycho that permanently does a Kubrick stare, but you need to stop talking about cutesy marshmallows and kawaii candies if you're speaking with someone that doesn't understand your tongue (both the language and the thing in your mouth). You have the right to be shy and awkward to talk to her about it (or talk to her at all) but it isn't a permanent excuse. Eventually you'll have to do something about it, don't complain about the results you don't have if you didn't make any efforts to have 'em. And if she reject you, well that's a shame but that happens frequently, other people too have feelings and preferences. Don't let the friendzone exist. And also be good at detecting manipulative bitches and stuff, because nothing good will come out of it for you. Most importantly, stop pointing fingers at the friendzone, the douchebag that stole her from you or her for not being reciprocal, only cowards do that and you ain't one. You don't want to be. Chin up, rejection won't be the only thing in life that will make you feel down.

friend zone isn't real ./endthread