BDSM not just about boiking

Someone suggested to me once to see a councilor that also does couples therapy but do the individual sessions to start then bring in the partner for one to see how it goes. At least after that point you can say they were not active in finding a mutual councilor when you offered - sounds like you did. Even single guys are struggling to find someone. Sex is transactional either emotionally or monetarily and usually the people who tend the transactions need something more than to just feel good in an instant. Imagine how difficult it would be finding someone that agrees to be your side piece knowing you have a wife and X kids leaving very little for them transactional. The fit you are looking for is someone who can support themselves (or maybe another married person who is supported which i would not endorse lol). You are making empathetic points but the more I ponder it the easiest outcome still is to start separation/divorce. As you said, you would get raked over the coals anyway. If not the best you could hope for is for the youngest to turn 18, right? How long will that be?

Fun fact did you know a man can see decline in their abilities as early as 40? Well you were right in a little bit of a mid life because thats around the corner for me and my youngest would take at least 10yrs. From what I've heard it can be slow or it could be one day to the next finding out i have to put aside a viagra expense. But that might also never happen and I could be an 80yr old banging hard.

As a man who's in his forties... Not yet they haven't.lol My oldest is about your little one's age, it would seem. Dude, I really do hope you find your happiness and I'm sorry it seems life shat on you with your wife. Nothing more needs to be said about your non marital activities, as you have yourself and your consequences to live with there. Best of luck, just don't put to much hope in finding someone who will hold on while you figure your divorce/marriage out.

This had better be some sort of elaborate ragebait nonsense. If it isn't then it only further confirms to me that the devil is real and his hands are not idle.

"So am I an dookyhole for wanting to look for my own happiness or is she the one for only wanting me around for her happiness? What would you trade for your happiness? Would you be a bad person and do what makes you happy or stay in a compromised relationship for the happiness of others?" I don't think you're wrong for wanting to be happy @rabbithole, I want to let you know that first and foremost, however, I absolutely WOULD NOT suggest cheating on your wife in search of said happiness. I absolutely CANNOT claim to know how you're feeling or what you are going through, but, have you thought of going behind your wife's back in an attempt of feeling like you're getting back at her from how she's been towards you? Or-and this is a genuine question, I mean no offense-do you have a kink for cheating? You said it yourself when talking to @willworkforisekai "What would you trade for your happiness?" And, even though things sound very difficult right now, you can still try to do this process (divorce/breaking up) fairly and in a good way. I am NOT saying it will be easy, from what it sounds like, you know that life never is. But, at the very least, try thinking about your dear babies and the example you also set for them. I know there is probably some worries about your children (maybe) hating or despising you for leaving/trying to leave, especially as it sounds like your wife would be someone to make you out to be like the only one who did wrong (from the info we have about her), but, it also isn't good for your kids to see a miserable marriage either. In fact, hopefully they'll learn that sometimes knowing when to walk away IS the best option, but especially walking away in a manner that is good/fair and mature. You sound very unhappy at this point and time...and I truly apologize to you for not being able to give any useful advice (please forgive me), however, I hope you aren't truly willing to become a bad person for your happiness, and neither do I wish for you to stay and be miserable. Sometimes, being the 'bigger person' (in a sense) can take it's tole and drain you, but at least your kids will see how you never cheated, and YOU also have the comfort of knowing you remained strong/good for yourself and those you care for (which I'm assuming is your kids rn?). Anywho, it may sound weird as we've never talked to you before...plus the fact that I'm a complete stranger, but I love you and hope you can take the right steps towards true happiness. ❤️

@dyadka_yar The devil will give you what you want and it will come with all the bells and whistles you desire. Anything to break off what is sacred. The woman I cheated with was to good to be true. I thought she was a gift from God. But, it was the other way around. I got tempted by everything I dreamed off in one woman. I couldn't see how wrong I was because of how magical the experience was. I couldn't of stopped my self from cheating even if I had wanted to. He set the perfect trap. It was like every desire I had even the ones I couldn't think of in one women. He plays ball I'm telling you. There's no way I should of meet such a magical woman.