Rabbithole8

I don't know maybe because I've lived a shitty life Im numb to all of societies rules and regulations. Everyone seems to be hung up on the cheating aspect and none of the happiness. Do you know how many ppl cheat on a daily? Your friends, family, co-workers, and acquaintances. Marriage, psh depending on your believes it's just a piece of paper. If it's worth the world to you hold it tight, mine has let me down and thwarted my career goals. Everyone puts a lot of worth on family, yet mine has screwed me over mother included. If my growth in life looked like little yellow balls, my own family and loved ones are Pac-Men. I know it's too much to ask an opinion of those that dont know the darkest parts of society that make you want to live in a tent/cabin in the woods just peacefully but hey I tried. Im not here to stay, I only wanted this groups opinion in the matter. It was clear to me in the first 4 replies I was not getting anywhere in this crowd. If your out to give another lecture on morality then dont bother. I will leave you with this. Cheating and divorce are such huge walls with sentries and guns and wire that I dont even dare start to climb either without a plan. Which I dont have. But therapy is a canyon so wide I know I won't make it if try the leap of faith. So I walk this fine ledge with an amazing beautiful view, with an edge that leads to a bottomless pit with hope or 2 dark treacherous walls that might hold a new beginning or more pain and misery for a lifetime. I just know if any of you knew what I have/am going through I know you would have snapped, cheated, or just chosen the wrong path without asking questions. This is me getting a general opinion of the anime community. This was me asking questions.

Here's my point of view. In all my years I have fallen in love maybe 4 times. One day out of the blue Im watching porn and think to myself...these are way to many (real) videos and true stories, where are all these creeps at? And how do I find them lol Break it down about 50% of porn is someone making money (willingly) about 40% is those in sex trafficking rings...let's be honest if you see a video that has just a corner of a room super set up chances are they aren't there because they want to be. Now the last 10% is revenge porn and actual freaks that love that kind lifestyle. These are not actual percentages just numbers pulled out of my ass. Now on any website there are millions of videos each with a different person and different catagories. You judge by how much of a freak i am and blame the devil but there are hundred of thousands that are freaks in there own regard. I have gone to a few concerts in my time and let me tell you, one day me and my buddy went and there was this cute girl sat right in front of us and we clicked. It's a pattern that no matter where I go I click with someone. That concert had 2k ppl in it and I happen to click with one. That would mean if you left to New York or Japan or Texas there is a good chance you could meet someone. Plenty of fish in the sea right. Now factor in what you like...anime? Go to anime conventions, bar hoping go to bars. Most ppl have the small town mentality and don't realize there is an entire world out there. There is a stigma for sex and pleasure like oh thats the devils work but the reality is many are like me but because of ppl like you that don't understand we hide our kinks and end up with no one to talk to about it thats where our deep depression starts. If you rack up the numbers no matter how wild your kink is there is someone out there for you. If you think I'm just an outlier, there are stories from years ago on the news of a man of 7 years married after 2 kids comes out gay. His true love was another penis but he ended up getting an STD because of ppl that judged what he liked. Another story was of someone that left their marriage of 10 yrs to be in daipers. His love was to be treated as a baby and supposedly the 3 kids still visit. Nowadays it's everywhere, gay, lesbian, pan, tran. All definitions of expressing your likes to a complete stranger. So you mean to tell me you can call yourself a furry have a litter box for yourself in your living room but me wanting dominance, respect, and to be able to say good girl while I pet my completely naked girl on the head is too much for you that you have to bring the devils name into this...your the problem. See for yourself...website called fetlife and app called fet. As for my delema I appreciate both of you lovely assholes @ yaashat @willwork there just too much at stake and not enough avenues to search for that one person. I will try to find time to get a professional involved but again with my lack of time and her stubbornness i just don't see her becoming the women I crave and the one I originally fell in love with ever again. And I know divorce will be soo ugly but I have to be the strong one and get through it alone while I also get raked through the coals with nobody in my corner.