Overcoming abuse

Same when I was younger i said I was gonna have 100 kids and no girl cause girls are yucky little did ik you need one to get the other

I never really suffered chronic abuse as a child. I have a very loving mother who did everything she could for my brother and I even though we were dirt poor. I've only had traumatizing events here and there as a child. For instance, when I was around 6 I kicked my mom's then boyfriend in the balls and he picked me up by the throat and started strangling me. Even though my mom promptly broke up with him I still had problems getting close to people after that. But, I came to understand the event that made me stronger as a person. I feel like all the hardships we face in life can make us stronger. Have you ever met somebody who has had it easy in their life? Shallow pieces of crap. Bring on the hardships, I say. Welcome them, and let them mold us into stronger people.

I try not to think about it. I have a good relationship with my mother only because I no longer live with her. She had a temper and I remember several instances of her giving me a bloody nose as a child. Even as a late teen, early 20 going to college, helping her pay bills, she would still try to bully me if I made her mad. She knew not to hit me in the face at that point, but instead would hit me hard in the upper arms. When I moved out, our relationship dramatically improved and I swore I would never live with her again under the same roof. Re my father, I have a similar story to Arc's except the person who held me up in a chokehold was my own father just because I had splashed him in a pool. Several years later he locked himself, my mother, and my oldest brother in a room with a loaded shotgun - my parents had been fighting. They did not stop until I started screaming from my bedroom. A few years after that my father pointed a loaded gun at my head when he came in brandishing it thinking my mother was sleeping with someone else (they were separated at the time) and I was about to call 911. I called anyway, knowing he could pull the trigger. He then left. I avoided him as much as possible after that for the rest of his life. When I would ocassionally see him he would pretend like nothing happened and try to bait me with a guilt trip, "Why don't you come see me once and a while?" Maybe because you almost killed me a couple of times, fucker. He was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and basically given anywhere from 4-6 months to live. His first cousin, whom I dearly love, would hound me about not talking to him or visiting him. I finally broke down and told her about everything that happened in my childhood and why I chose to avoid him. He died about a month after I talked to her, 3 years ago now. I didn't go to his funeral.

My parents didn't mean to abuse me (they do love me)TAT, they simply didn't know how to bring up a normal child who will happily embrace social norms QAQ.Their parents didn't know as well. (•ؔʶ̷ ˡ̲̮ ؔʶ̷)✧ Tip is not to count on people easily hah.

Reconcile with ourselves Forgive and stay away from our parents n bullies. Find the purpose of our own life. Be ourselves, pursue our dreams adhering to common decency.

I had a difficult childhood. Brutal father, divorcement, stepparents, special ed till high school, stuck with old and disabled people that like me no matter how lame and pointless I get while badass narcissistic tough people immediately blocking me for even the tiniest issues of mine, people forcing me to do things even with my heart furiously yelling, "I f***n' said no!" My advice on overcoming abuse and trauma is pray, read a devotional book, listen to music that's neither prominent nor inevitable (personally, I prefer underrated video game music and doujin albums by game music composers), struggle with natural healing (screw meds and therapists), enjoy loneliness as long as possible while loving and healing yourself, move elsewhere if your current hometown keeps traumatic memories from being forgotten, go with elopement or no wedding after marriage (or just be boyfriend and girlfriend permanently without children), and avoid what most normies do as much as possible while sticking with minimalism (see film on Netflix) and saying as often as you can every birthday and Christmas, "I don't need any gifts but thanks anyway!", and refuse group invitations. If you're disabled any, do some research to see if you're eligible enough for disability income and get disability discounts as much as possible while earning and saving as hard as possible.

The early portion of my childhood was great, but once I reached 8 or 9 something had changed. Father became abusive after his divorce to my mother. There was also another issue with a 16 year old girl in the neighborhood when I was about 9 or 10, not going to go into details on that one. So I did the only sensible thing a kid going into puberty did, do everything wrong. I was smoking and drinking at the ripe old age of 14 with a bad crew. We got into fights all the time with groups from the surrounding neighborhoods because we didn't have anything else to do. Still have my switchblade from that time. I was young, foolish and nearly threw my life away more than a few times. The thing that saved me came from the most unexpected thing, the radio. I was listening to the radio and 18 and Life by Skid Row came up on the radio. A few lines hit me, "You can't think of dying when the bottle's your best friend" and "He walked the streets a soldier and he fought the world alone." At that moment I realized, "Oh shit, I'm Ricky (character in the song)" So that summer I said goodbye to the boys and got a job, did my best to turn my life around at that point which leads us to today. I still reflect on what happened to me. I realize why my dad did the things he did. The divorce, he lost the house, lived in a D-tier apartment and his kids hated him because he kept acting like an ass. It doesn't excuse his behavior by a long shot, but at least I know why he did it. I plan on having kids one day and the most important thing that I took from this was you never take your bad day or life out on your kids. It's not like they landed you in the position you are in. If you do that, your kids are going to go off and do something that is going to get them or somebody else killed. That neighborhood girl, chances are she was abused herself. That doesn't give you justification to do evil to other people. As far as I'm concerned, "I was abused" is not an excuse to do horrific things. As far as the boys I disassociated with, I'm glad I got away from them. One was killed in a street brawl at the age of 22, he was the one that gifted me the switchblade. One died of heroin overdose at age 24. The other two are in prison for more than a few years. I miss them, but there's no getting them back. Even if I got them back I am sad to say that my life would be worse, but we had good times and I should be thankful for that. The way that I deal with these things that happened to me. It's strange, it's like a bad dream. It happened and you remember it, but it's over and it can't hurt you anymore. That's the only way I can describe the way I deal with it. I personally think that is the best way to go about it, but it just takes some people a lot longer to get there.

Sometimes seeing other's stories makes me think the crap I dealt with wasn't so bad. But, everyone deals with things differently. I grew up in a pretty poor family. We never (us kids) had to worry about food or shelter, but finances were definitely always on a razors edge. My dad, while I respect the hell out of his work ethic, was not a very interactive dad and for some reason (He'd admit it, too.) I got the brunt of the anger, mental and some physical abuse. I never felt like my life was in danger, but the mental shit of always making me believe I was nothing, that shit still sticks around. There were a few instances of physical abuse, got kicked in the forehead hard enough to leave a shoe imprint for literally nothing, got beat pretty good with an extension cord and got bit at least once(Had to laugh, he's missing a couple teeth and the marks left nice gaps between the teeth marks.lol). But, again, it was constantly being berated and truly made to believe " I was damned if I do and damned if I don't, so why bother trying?" that still sticks in my head and messes with me, even now. My mom, she's still very sweet, but growing up, she wasn't exactly the type to stand up to my dad and call him out on his bullshit. That man is very lucky she's bothered staying with him. In a lot of ways I believe that actually makes her weak, but that's another story... She was my rock, growing up and I knew I could always talk to her about most anything. For me I've found that the best way to overcome past trauma is thru constant work on self improvement and understanding that those things were never my fault. That and therapy.l