Communication Struggle

okay for some reason I still have trouble trying to talk to people online. like half of the time I feel like I'm saying something stupid... how do i get over this? am i just over thinking?

Yes. You are. Quantity over quality my friend. Turns communication struggles --- into communication snuggles. You can quote me on that.

Arc i definitely will quote you on that lol! @anigamer I'll consider that :)

Well, I'm able to relate. I have asperger syndrome. Its mild, but its enough to make some social interactions intensely awkward. I don't have any special magic bullet to make it better, but I find if I have a conversation with myself and critque myself, that I respond to self-criticism well. Example: I'm in a bar, having a drink, and I see a cute girl. I decide not to talk to her because of nerves. I then say something like, 'Pussy, you should totally go over there and hit on her!' So yeah, thats what I do. I also cured myself of a stutter I had as a kid - no speech therapy or anything.

cool that's something i know i can do, just pump myself up and i usually stutter when i get nervous or excited about anything. thanks elder

simple way to get over it is to stop caring. So you say something stupid or possibly offensive, who cares? At the end of the day the people reading your comments are usually gonna be people you'll never meet on the other side of the country/planet. Just say what you feel like saying. People will always give you a hard time about something or other, doesn't matter how careful you are to try and appease everyone. Fact is you can't please everyone and you'll go nuts trying. What one person likes will probably bug another person, so don't even concern yourself with that mess.

TLDR Summary - Don't sweat the details. Enjoy the journey instead of fixating on the destination. @soulxii - Do not be outcome dependent. Do not get your hopes up for the positive outcome as when it does not go that way the disappointment is harsher and you will be discouraged to take risks. If you count on failure then that will be the likely outcome as you may subconsciously make it so reinforcing negative feelings holding you back. Both of these things damages ones self esteem in their own way needlessly. To be outcome independent means you are unfazed by either outcome because you have no investment emotionally to lose either way. Some people call it the 'I don't give a fuck' attitude. It's a crude/imperfect phrase but some can understand it easier when put that way but it does not mean be an uncaring jackass either. When you have nothing to lose there is nothing to fear or be anxious about. Like neet-one said you can not please everyone, it is impossible and illogical. Some people will like who you are and some will not and that is just perfectly natural, don't get hung up by it or offended by it. You will never find out which way it is if you do not explore the question and try to meet people. If you want to be successful socializing: Firstly know and appreciate your own value as a person and always be working to be your best true self for yourself not others. If you don't see and respect the value in yourself first do not expect others to be able to see or respect it either. Fortune favors the bold they say. When it comes talking to women you do it every day. You could not get anything done in this world if you never talked to them. They are in you schools, your family and friends, your workplace, and the businesses you trade with. When you are really attracted to someone your brain releases a chemical cocktail to put you in the mood to reproduce that can fumble you up some without practice dealing with it. When in that state you are then prone to inflating their value in your head and putting them on a pedestal above you which is ultimately counter productive because now they are something to lose and fear will color your actions and that ironically makes them lose attraction to you because of it. This is why often the advice 'be yourself' is given because when you are in the presence of someone very attractive you may actually be not acting yourself without realizing it at the time. So what I try to do is remind myself internally when I want to go up and meet a woman I am attracted to is she is a person like anyone else I encounter then I can be truly at ease being myself. If she is into me that's cool, if not that's cool too because the next one around the corner might be. I am outcome independent. This comes across as self confident because I do not need external validation from anyone to know and appreciate who I am. I am the prize not the diamond in the rough that needs someone to polish me up to see it.