Advice on appraoching "Otaku" women

I've been having some weirdness making contact with local otaku women on dating sites. I've tried being really responsive to their profile and explaining similar interests. I've also tried being chill and keeping it a simple message of recognition. In either case I get that passive-aggressive thing where it's obvious they took a glace and moved on. pretty hurtful for a nice guy. Even a "Thanks, have a good one." is better than silence. It's not just people that probably rejected me over looks, age or approach. On this one site they have a "LIKE" button that tells you if two people like eachother. Not a response - even if they were online recently. So, I must be doing something wrong (unless I'm really screwed on the age and looks thing). I've tried being expressive. I've tried being chill.. what's going on? *shrugs* I don't have this much trouble with non-otakus.

Ye harg! Ya could take the pirates way... I used to use dating sites and you realize quickly how most young women are getting messaged all the time by guys only wanting one thing, so they tend to be super picky. I used to come up with obvious joke personas like a pirate on a treasure hunt trying to get a crew together and that got plenty of responses... Of course, just talking about their interests ( never just stick with anime or gaming even if that's on their profile) is a good start. I never had a problem getting numbers ( higher than a 50% rate) and I'm certainly not a looker, I just type better than I talk...Unfortunately. I only ever met up with one woman, we talked for a few hours and just didn't click even though she was very sweet.

Yeah, as he said, common interests will only get you so far. Once you've got that covered, you need more stuff to follow afterwards. And I don't want to sound pessimistic, be he's also right when he says that the nice guy approach doesn't work, since it's the same virtually everyone uses. Even more for you since you're older. You're gonna have to find some kind of unique thing about you to serve as bait and hook if you want to go anywhere. Last, I don't really what difference it would make if the women were an otaku or not. I don't really think it matters really...

It doesn't matter if they're otaku or not. From what I've experienced, you want to avoid those with true otaku tendencies... I stood out is all. I took a chance and realized you don't need to take it so serious. Remember, online should never be your only option, it's just one of many tools. Be yourself, but realize you're just one of many. Don't be afraid to stand out or fail. Don't be an ass, but it's like fishing, you have to use the right bait in order to catch what you want. Als, many women may watch anime later in even if it's not on the fore front of their mind. You just want to meet up firs, that's the main goal of onlineand then you can ffigure out the rest.

So as much as I don't want the way I am to be wrong, every now and again I must take good advice from others. There are some good points and ideas here. Yaasshat you seem to have good advice, but I worry many people will not understand without finding some things out for themselves. I seem to be able to talk easily, not sure if it is something easy for you or not. I can hold a conversation on my own if I have to. I say I have a dynamic personality and can work with anyone, some make it frustrating to deal with them, but I can do it. I have found that sometimes people will build worlds in their heads of how they think things are, some turn the world into a place where they are vampires and or protectors of our dimension(both true stories from people I know) or they may build you to be different in their heads, and upon understanding that you are not what they thought, will recoil a bit. It is difficult with online dating in the sense that you get a very different take on the person than what you would face to face. I find that I put all true info about me, and trust that those who care will trust what I say. If they cannot, then they need to sort that out for themselves. I understand that many girls will get harassed from the moment they join, I feel bad that things can't be nicer and would like people who want alternate goals than dating or building a nice relationship to go somewhere else, or be nicer people, but this is a free area so you still get those. I try to get around that by trying different tactics, from just being someone who is easy to talk to, to just trying to be fun. On the internet you never know how real a person is till you meet them. I just use otaku as a category for people with interest in anime and Japanese culture, but when you go full on weeaboo... then things get a bit odd. I am a friend, and have kinda accepted that's how things will be. I am good at it so why waste my talent. I would like for someone to turn around with my kindness and friendship and be willing to take a step to progressing that. I unfortunately am not someone who can easily go out and just start talking to strangers. If they talk to me first, I have no issues, but starting the contact I am put off from due to how many people just flip out because I talked to them and how I am harassing them. It really is a bother. I want to be considerate, but it seems people are sometimes too busy to care about those things. I am sure if I put my mind to it I can do it, but I am kinda slow at it and that seems to work against me in public. online is easier due to having time to think of how to reply and genuinely trying to understand them. I will leave it here, I could keep talking but feel I am starting to write too much.(WARNING: I am sleepy, if it doesn't make sense I may have forgotten words or something) Edit: Oh and if someone says they are shy, then expect delays. If you can have good patience then you will be able to hold out for that. Otherwise don't put too much emphasis on it. I gave up on only looking at girls/women in my area pretty quick, they aren't very active or chatty. I figure if things go really well then we can figure it out at that time. But I have to be patient till then so I will make friends and take care of them for now.

Yaasshat has some great advice. Heck, I might change some words around on my dating profile to be more fun. I mean, girls scan a profile for about 3 seconds before deciding if they want to message you, and if they can't think of any questions to ask in that 3 seconds, it's over. I haven't tried dating women from this site, but I had success with posting interesting pictures. Always try to have one with a woman also in it, so it makes you seem approachable. Definitely don't have all solo pictures.

Wrong... NEVER with another woman, unless it's like a group of friends or famil, otherwise you look like a player. Know what I did ? I only took a couple of up close pictures, tacky, I know, but it worked a bit for me. Mostly itit's justaabout standing out and for the love of all that is, never play the nice guy routine. Be you and be tru. My humor is MY humor. Also, if they are local, don't play text tag. Always try to meet up within a week or two of getting a numbe. Remembe, if you're looking to date, you're looking to get to know them and not their online persona or texting habits. Online you're just looking to attract so you can move forward offline in the real world.

This is all solid gold fellas. I really appreciate it! @Key: The difference here is I'd rather someone have similar interests. I'm sure I can introduce anime eventually to a gal but that's a little iffy. An Otaku is more likely to enjoy hanging out, going to conventions and enjoy gaming. Apparently every anime fan on those dating sites is secretly named "Kuroki Tomoko" though. There's no breaking the ice with that. @DoubleZero: Good points. I made the mistake of taking someones profile literately. They basically poured their heart out, said that personality was %80 and that they detested incisiveness. So, like a fool, I left a decisive (but not crazy) message that highlighted our common experiences and awesome tastes. Got totally ignored. Wasted my time and feelings. It's okay: I later found a huge dealbreaker I had missed. @yaasshat: Thanks, man. I'm going to borrow your playbook. I'm just starting out so I take everything too seriously. I've encountered a huge amount of self delusion, racism, and vanity out there. Can't let it faze me by taking it in earnest. I've definitely seen damaged people on these websites due to male stupidity. One got so irate over people berating her looks and asking for sex that I knew she would never even give me a chance at friendship (much less anything else.) The ladies have to realise this passive-aggressive $hit has to stop. It's not less hurtful and more safe to just ignore someone. The arseholes will still message you. The nice guys get hurt and feel like withdrawing out of date range again.

Yeah, thanks man! I kinda screwed up by getting burnt out and not dating. I guess the extra hurdles are partially my fault. The other thing is, this online dating things is in extreme slow mo. People don't respond for weeks. When I was dating we would get on ICQ or IRC and chat each other up for days. Only after we really got a feel for eachother did we dare meet IRL. It worked. With dating sites it takes weeks for a single response - and most people "communicate" by you finding out they were ignoring you. R. E. TARDED.