Advice on appraoching "Otaku" women

It's a bit more complicated getting to know girls on here for anything more than casual online friendships because a higher ratio of girls here have social anxiety issues or suffer from past trauma with guys. A few are willing to hang out at conventions and such but others completely hide their rl identity and so are hard to get to know any deeper than their public "veneer".

He's not talking specifically about here. Also, weeks to respond? When I did the online thing I wouldn't wait that long, either you responded in a day or two or not and then I'd only message for a few days before getting a number. Usually you don't want to wait more than a week before you suggest a meet up, remember, you're not the only one messaging them. Also, they never owe you a response. Just because you messaged them does not mean they should message you, even if to say they aren't interested. To many guys get offended and tell women off just because they were told "I'm not interested.". And please don't get caught up in text tag once you get a numbe, just call, talk for a minute and ask when they are free to meet up. There's no need to build up some faux relationship online if they are local... Besides, you'll never know for sure what's up until you meet up.

Also if you do end up meeting the person in real life, don't rush into anything, I was on a non anime dating site, met them, went from 1st to home run and I couldn't see them after that. Get to know them first before you get to that stage

Some advice for dating women that like anime and the like is really just: -Act how you would when you're approaching a friend. Don't be overly formal, but don't be overly direct! Try not to come off as someone that just wants that ONE THING (we all know what it is) because that immediately turns women OFF big time. (unless she's just looking for a booty call of course!). Likewise, being too pushy is also bad. It just makes women want to run and talk about how this guy online pushed them for things they didn't want to give. -Don't lie. Just don't do it! No person likes a liar and it'd be much better for us if we could see how you really are than to have a huge surprise later (like on a date or something). Being honest with your looks and personality are a huge deal, but that should just be a well known rule. -Don't over do the compliments. Sounds dumb, right? Who doesn't like compliments? Compliments aren't bad, but they come off as very fake if you just keep layering them on. You may be excited about your new lady friend, but don't cake it on! -We aren't some special species. We like things just like boys like things. Treat us how you'd want to be treated and you should have no problems! Good luck, sweetie!

Thanks for the advice. ..and the well wishes! :) Good rules in general - common sense to me. Yeah, most gals will shut down at the least perceived betrayal of trust. I'm open and funny so it doesn't happen often. Confusion happens though. Although transparency is important for safety I never give out a full name. Some aspects that would reveal my exact location I'm especially leery about. Just yesterday I got caught by a chat bot that tried to get my cellphone number, yahoo handle and asked if I live alone..!! I guess finding that level of friendly/interested is something I'll have to work on. Didn't mean to objectify - just noticed that whatever acceptable level of interest is disconcertingly different. Totally agree with the danger in expressing appreciation for someones traits. Compliments seem to have the opposite effect. Most people are fighting their own self image and bad influences. They usually lash out by getting freaked out at those bold enough to express their wonderful aspects. I've learned the hard way on that one.

The problem for starters on "normal" dating sites are the girls aren't usually looking for geeky/nerdy guys which otaku tend to be. Combined with the fact you're already in the majority on that site where the minority can be very choosy on who they want to message, so its not a good combo. There are some girls on there who I see from time to time who do have similar interests, but I rarely ever get a response even from them on sites like OKC and POF that I sometimes wonder why I even bother to have profiles there to begin with. Its also not easy to just approach and cold turkey talk to someone, even at conventions. A bit easier in mutual social situations where you're meeting a friend of a friend and what not, but I'll be damned if I haven't gotten the "you're a creeper" vibe from girls several times even when I've tried to make small talk or say hello which makes it all that much harder to approach someone who might genuinely be interested in meeting you. I know I'm not an ugly guy or anything but FML when it comes to finding women who aren't already in a relationship or who can tolerate dating a gamer.

The things I have learned about women are: in order to be attractive to ANY woman, otaku or not, you need three things: 1. BE YOURSELF! 2. BE FUNNY 3. BE CONFIDENT If you can do these three things, you'll be attractive to women. And if they don't go for you or reject you, shrug it off and move to the next one.

@Cecil: I feel you! I agree with everything you said %100. @maidenfan_198: in theory you're right. I appreciate the advice, man.

It's not just in theory my friend. There was this one time at school, I saw this super cute girl so I went over and had normal conversation with her. I didn't even flirt with her and we eventually ended up holding hands. In my experience, if one girl doesn't go for you, another one will. You just have to keep putting yourself out there and not give up.