Branden

Ngl I hope this site becomes revitalized and has consistent new blood flow in through some means, because I do miss how MO used to be when connecting with others. Would be nice to actually run into someone who wants to reach out as much as I do. Feels like I gotta initiate every interaction because I don’t get contacted. Had three to five women tell me they are into me this past month and they disappeared. Talking to someone irl ends with them lying about something to me like having a secret onlyfans or their age to just go on a date with me. Then apps…don’t even get me started with the chick who messaged once matched “hey you are really cute would you be down to collab with me for OF content tonight at my place”! What has society come to that as a man these are our options when those of us that value actual connection get bumped down to roster picks for a draft pick?!? I know I’m picky but this is ridiculous on how much delusion is running rampant in the dating scene. Before anyone suggests going to clubs or bars, I actually do frequently and it is always couples paired up together or older women looking to have sex for a night, and I value myself more than that ironically enough.

I give up on trying too hard for others to notice me. Everything I do now is for me and only me. Not even celebrating Mother’s Day because my mom and I ceased communication. She told me she wishes a good life for me and that was it. Been battling depression off and on lately…life hasn’t felt this lonely in a long while not since Florida. Anytime I try to make new connections with someone I fuck it up by being “too available” despite always busy with gym or work or going out with friends. Even though I got friends (for which I am grateful for especially now) I still feel lonely. Antidepressants don’t work with me and only thing that makes me happy is gym progress now. Looking in the mirror when I wake up to see how far along I’m getting. I want a family that I never got. To be cared about like I never been. To not feel like trash finally and to be loved. I’m just venting this and irl I’m okay. I promise I’m not doing anything stupid. Just wish and pray that my dreams come true one day.