How do you all make friends after 30?

lol... sorry. Found another one.

And where were his friends when he needed them most? One denied being his friend to 3 different people. The other snitched on him for chump change. The others stood around gossiping and making up rumors while doubting his integrity. He literally died for them and went through Hell just for them to say, "But what have you done for us lately though?" Which made him roll in the grave so hard it moved the stone sealing it while also waking up the actual dead from their slumber! Then he took a walk to blow off some steam. Thought about it for over a month, visited with his mother, then decided he couldn't stay mad at His boys forever before forgiving them... except Judas cause he's a simp for the devil's Only Fans (which is why he needed the money in the first place to renew his subscription. That was until Judas learned he wasn't the devil's Only personal moderator and rage quit on life!) Finally making up with the boys, Jesus showed them mercy by saying he'd ride or die with them for life no matter what! And when they should need him most he'd be back one day with promises of bringing a bunch of cool stuff that he's totally going to share with his bestest of homies before promptly ghosting the group chat and leaving the disciples to experience some of the worst torturous deaths in human history like an OG Boss! Cause no one backstabs the J-man and payback's Hell, baby!