Religious rants

@siruboo It's cool. It's perfectly natural to fear forces beyond our control. I'm not doing any crusade here. This is a conflict between me and another person, not divinity or devils. That stuff is manageable.

I feel like ever since my fast i have become more aware and in tune with my spirituality. But it honestly makes me sad, because things that never affected me before make me kind of conflicted. Like i watched a video about how nero persecuted christians with such evil and i weapt for all the Christians who stood fast and firm in their belief. I feel like i have not done enough for the LORD it honestly makes me envious of the people who have been called up by the LORD and rise to the occasion. People with such wisdom, im honestly learning alot from them and i wish i was as biblically sound as they are. When asked by a gay guy once about the bible i answered him and like i wasnt satisfied with my answer i felt i was too lenient with my wording as to not offend him. I did him a disservice, i dont think i would have made him turn away from immorality but idk.

@hell_hound7 You know, God has been dealing with my family about focusing just on Him, thirsting for His righteousness, Panda. Choose to believe me or not but He has talked with us about how our works are nothing and what we say is nothing if we can't live His word out for ourselves, even Paul struck a blow to his body lest he be a castaway when preaching the Gospel (not able to live God's word out for himself). Anyhow, my point is that you sound like you are on the right track. You are trying to get your own house in order before it's too late, remember that God knows the plans He has for you, the desires of your heart will come in due time. Just focus on drawing closer to God through His son Jesus Christ ^-^ https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8y1fvef/

@wei_ying yeah i dont believe in faith based on works. I dont want to do things solely for the purpose of getting into heaven. Its more of the belief that its not about what God can do for you, its about what you can do for him, what can you offer him. Your time, dedication, obedience, loyalty, love and everything. I see God as more of a father figure than an almighty being, yes i know he does have the power to destroy all of humanity if he pleases but i think of him as a dad and we are all his children. We should strive to make him proud of us. I often think about how God wants us so badly to love him like how he loves us. Jesus is someone i want to see really badly, even if the life i have lived leads me to nothing more than destruction, i feel like as long as i can look at him and say sorry or that i know i did bad but i dont want you to hate me i would be ok with whatever he chooses to do to me. I would like to converse with jesus if only one time. I find it silly but i asked to hear God's voice speak to me or to have an audience with him at least once. I am jealous of the people in the bible who got all the chances to have conversations with God and still choose to worship another God like you had it all and all you had to do was be loyal. Either way ik my intentions are pure but my actions are not. I dont follow the word of the LORD as closely as i would hope. Im still suffering through the desires of the flesh. I find myself cherry picking the lifestyle im supposed to live. I still get angry, i still have hatred in my heart, i still experience lust, i still use profane language and speak badly of others, while i do help others alot in my life than turn and leave them to struggle when i know i can help its not as if im always enthusiastic about it. Ik God often sends us people as he did with his disciples and said that was me and you refused to help. Im talking about Matthew 25:44-45. Idk i realize no one can help me with these struggles besides God but i feel while yes God has the power to remove these burdens from us. I kind of have to do some effort myself.

@hell_hound7 Typed a whole comment and accidentally deleted it -_-. But what I said before basically was, I absolutely agree putting in work for your faith (and I don't mean by actually doing just a miracle, but trying to demonstrate it by living it everyday), but just remembering to not focus on putting unrealistic standards for yourself (such as thinking you can be perfect) or pushing all the work onto yourself, because God loves when we lean on Him. Another thing I mentioned was how God knows we aren't perfect and all have sin. I still have things I'm struggling with but overcoming as we speak, since I was thirteen I've struggled with my flesh and the carnality of my mind. I had issues with inappropriate searches such as porn and homosexual stuff (all with animated people but we know wrong is still wrong), but I have decided I am done living lukewarm and double-minded. For I know God has a greater purpose for me rather than just repeating the cycles of Satan, I am now ready to live in the season God has for me. My point is that at least you aren't blind to your issues, maybe even this season and time in your life is a test to see what you will confess and repent for before God. To see what you are willing to try and get rid of, yet again, God isn't looking for perfect people as you know, but for those who are thirsting for His spirit and who are willing to clean as much of their sin and flesh as possible. For we know God does not live in temples made by human hands and when we try and build our own house and go our own way, we labor but in vain-Psalms 127:1 (a) "Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain." Just keep thirsting for Him and keep in mind Jeremiah 29:12-13 "12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Even if it's to tell God how upset and frustrated and tired you are, He WILL listen. Even God said Job honored Him by praying to Him even though it was a frustrated and irritated one, the fact Job knew who to come to and who the Comforter is, God was pleased. Just continue to work on yourself but not by your own will, but God's will be done. May God bless you in Jesus name