Mental Illness (Mental Wellness)

I am only hanging on my sanity coz I still have a job to go to when I wake up. I can't imagine being unemployed since March and dealing with this pandemic. People's sanity is truly being tested right now.

i was diagnosed with gad (generalized anxiety disorder) and clinical depression when i was in high school but iv had it since middle school the medication helps but its not a panacea unfortunately just feels weird knowing there are people out there that feel normal all the time, that its not some goal for them the only positive thing is i use to have really, really bad social anxiety (like i couldn't be alone in public, i needed someone by my side or id cry xD) but that's actually improved a lot since then my agoraphobia has gotten way better since high school and I'm almost on the level of a normie now xD no idea why, if anything iv become more isolated, but maybe that's all it took, being away from toxic ass kids in high school to decompress and trust a little more

there are different levels of trust basic trust (that strangers wont harm you) is given for most but deep trust (that friends wont harm you) is earned

I visit a monastery 2 weeks a year. No phone, no internet, no anything. I'm not a believer. Quite the opposite. But that specific monastery respects my lack of belief. In a sense, it's like going to India for monkship. You have to sit with yourself and think for many hours per day. Not easy... but helpful.

@gonebythenight Are you a character from Darkest Dungeon?

i forgot i was going to say some words that come in my mind. discrepancy ellipsis (ellapsis) dexterity (dextraderity) trijunctional two of the words were close to words. but i changed it to the correct words. they have stories but i dont want to get into why those words came into my mind. it would take a while and i dont want to tell people about personal things.

Discrepancy is a good one. I think it's used here often, so maybe you picked up on it, especially where there are debates. Ellipsis < That's these "..." I use them often and consider them my favorite punctuation. Dexterity, a good one and frequent in video games. Probably picked it up too. Tri-junctional isn't very common but eh... I could see where it might be used in a game or maybe a posh news site trying to sound fancy. Oo. So are these just things that do come to mind when you empty it, or are these examples of the shouting you hear? @siruboo

when my mind isnt full and when i wake up or when i wake up in the middle of the night or before bed is when it happens the most. its not the voice that i feel like when i dont get sleep (feeling like im sick) but a natural voice, its not very much a voice compared to actual voice of sentences ive heard like someone talking in my ear. ive had that a few times that it was real weird. it was a girls voice, saying that i need to buy something or i need a car. other voices were one word and a very cute voice. trijunctional was from like a year or two ago and it was when i made trains going in a trijunction for the first time in a drawing. i heard the word in the middle of the night and forgot the word then i fell asleep. in my dream i rememberd the word and then i woke up and i realized what it meant. like in the pic. it has a meaning so thats why i dont think its something i picked up on.