On the topic of validation.

Do you feel validated? Do you believe that it's important to feel significant? Do you make an effort to make sure that the people you care about feel significant to you? Yes/no? Why/why not? If you do then how? Been pondering this one. You shouldn't get all of your validation from others. You give up all your power and your sense of self worth and that's just not healthy. At the same time can you truly feel like you are worth something if you're the only person who treats you that way? Then that got me wondering if there are people I know who feel like no one cares about them, And that got me to ask this.

Then we have things like social media which is okay in small doses but some people take it to the extreme. They need affirmation on every aspect of their lives. they have thousands of people hearing every mundane update of their lives on twitter, liking every opinion they post on Tumblr, swiping left and right on Tinder months after being in a relationship just because they still want to see if they "still got it". That is an addiction :/ and to be clear it is not the kind of validation I am referring to.

I do feel validated. I do believe its important to feel significant. And I do make an effort to make sure the ppl i care about feel significant to. I think feeling like you are significant goes hand in hand with feeling like you are cared for. And when someone cares for you, you natural start to care for them. and vise versa if someone doesn't find you significant you will probably slowly find them insignificant too. relationships are always a give n take. even messed up ones. ppl only stay because their finding some sort of validation (even if their form of validation may seem warped) once they realize their not getting the validation they want or need they'll seek it else where eventually. everyone has their own idea of what validates them and how they show they validate others. for me personally i feel validated when the ppl i care about remember things i like/dont and understand me as a person and their actions show that. and i try to do the same.

Do I feel validated? Yes, but not by self or by others. I function and operate as all other life and its definition and the state of being is enough to validate my existence as small and worthless as it may be. The important is as low as it can be. I put no effort in making sure they feel significant to me. I feel that everyone has a basic amount of validation and the more complex they become the more they should get. However, it's possible to lose an amount of validation but I'm not sure how much you can lose past the default amount. Even self-brings validation even if that is by thinking that one is not valid. Something of true worthlessness would have to be unknown to its self and by others.

I don't place a lot of importance on the validation I get from others. It feels great when I do get it. (Like it's cool that people in the HVZ community who are community famous youtubers know and respect me as "A badass who doesn't die easily".) But like you said, confidence born outside of yourself is transient and not very long lasting. I think loving yourself in a non-narsisistic way is perhaps the best way to come to understand this. It really seems that when people are competing for attention, what they really seek is adoration. And given how shallow our society is, we don't exactly make eye contact with our pals and tell them how much we appreciate them being around for us, or respect their skills in a particular area they've worked in every day. It's awkward, and if it drags on too long, the conversation becomes unhealthily self indulgent. But we wouldn't need to milk compliments for all they're worth if we just... You know, developed a society that placed more value in the bonds we formed rather than the success we experience.

Sure, who doesn't want to feel important or significant to someone else, or have someone around you consider important?