Women approaching men

it is sometimes i get pass a lot but i stop caring a bout the rejection tho i just go with the flow now if she in up like me for me well ok that cool.

Meh, it's rare that a woman might approach a male in American culture. I don't approach people period because they act stupid when they know you like them.

Almost all of the women I've met and became friends with came to me first. Generally women prefer men to make the first move and approach them, but online doing so will only get you lost in a sea of other men. You're just gonna be viewed as creep #256, so why bother? This kind of behavior only spoils them anyway and makes them become much more picky with men since there's now so many to choose from. It also makes them care less about how attractive they are as they know men will still flock to them even if they pack on some pounds, act like a slob, or worse.

@neet-one I couldn't agree more

While it'd be nice to see it more often, for a lot of women, it's also seen as acting desperate to an extent. So it's kind of a coin flip. You've got guys who are too scared or timid to approach because of the whole "he's just a creeper trying to get in my pants" vibe some girls give off and on the other side you have women with the decades old expectation of the guys asking them out and them asking a guy out is seen as desperation on their part. I think this in general is somewhat why dating is so shitty in this day and age. So many people have unrealistic expectations and wonder why they go years without having a relationship. And even I'm guilty of this to an extent. My ultimate advice is, guys, don't be afraid to ask a girl out. You won't be any worse off then you were before if she shoots you down. And girls, for the love of f'n god, stop with the hint dropping and run around game of making the guy ask you out. If you like the dude, tell him. Playing "hard to get" is just BS run around that turns off any worthwhile man and why you never find a decent guy because you constantly give them hurdles to jump over and many don't want to put up with it after awhile.

Talking to them online looking for a relationship is a waste of time and effort, I would agree. It does work for some people but for many it doesn't. I think it's better to talk to them in real life more compared to online (because there are only so many people I meet in real life, so less opportunities for people to not be interested in me XD Seriously though it does seem like girls can find a boyfriend almost any time they want, while guys are looking for a mythical person spoken of in legend, and not really sure if this legend is true or not lol

RainX said, "unrealistic expectations" and basically summed up everything you need to know about why many men and women feel so lost on how to deal with each other. I don't really want to say that a person should go in expecting to be rejected, but don't throw all your eggs in one basket and get bent out of shape because you didn't get a positive response from one person either. I'm also in the camp that thinks women should take a more active role in pursuing men too, though. Basically I'm just generally in favor of women taking more leading roles in society; not taking over, but finally achieving some kind of balance. There's nothing I hate more than the societal expectation that the husband is supposed to be the "breadwinner" and the wife is supposed to "mind the home." We're slowly eliminating this problem, but it's nowhere near fast enough for my taste. I still hear, "I just want to be treated like a princess and have someone take care of me," way too often and it literally turns my stomach. I want a partner; not a sponge.

shawnji, there's nothing wrong with women wanting to take leading roles in society, but claiming it's a "problem" when women want to be a house wife is just as bad as trying to force them to be one. You're still forcing them into a role, it's simply a different role you're pushing on them now. People should be allowed to live whatever lifestyle they want, even if it's one you don't agree with. Also, we've had balance for pretty much all of human history. The bread winner and home care combo IS balance and it's been proven to work for millennia. Two breadwinners with no one minding the home is putting all the weight on one side scale, which often leads to broken homes as we're seeing all too often in recent years. Granted it's not financially feasible to have that kind of system anymore With the economy being so fucked up. As is it's impossible for most families to live in a one income home anymore. On top of that the role of home wife has been dragged through the mud and bastardized so much it's gone from being a normal and respectable part of everyday life to being something people should be ashamed of? How the masses let themselves be brainwashed into thinking that taking care of your kids, keeping your home clean, and making sure your family is well feed is somehow 'not real work' and is something almost evil to do? If you want your kids to be raised by schools/tvs, eat nothing but junkfood, and live in a squalor because their parents are too busy working 'real jobs' to take care of the home properly then fine that's your choice, but please don't force this life style on people and let them at least decide for themselves how they want to live.

I agree with both shawnji and RainX, if you really like someone, just AT LEAST start talking to them, make a move. I admit though that I had the same mentality that guys should make the first move and ask out because I thought it would have been weird and creepy if a girls asked out first, not to mention boys found me unattractive, even disgusting at times so I gave up hopes. Even if I liked some guy I was too shy to ask out and scared to get brutally rejected. So I just decided to wait for guys to ask me out. Later when I started to use social media (not dating sites yet) I got to know many different people and some became friends. Then I liked one guy there and my friends thought we matched, I started to talk to him more and eventually liked him a lot and decided to take a risk to ask him out, he agreed. This was my and his first long distance relationship so we weren't exactly sure how it will go but we liked each other a lot and it was great experience and it ended in a good note (there were circumstances that made our relationship uncomfortable so we decided to end it, none of us hold any grudges to each other). However, when I got to this relationship and told one of my online friends about it she said that it is a very bad sign when a girl asks a guy out first. I was scared at first but then I dropped that idea. Now I'm not sure though. After a year or two I was interested in other guy online and it took me two weeks to start conversations with him and after about two month I asked him out but he rejected politely, we are still friends now though we don't speak too much. There was other guy whom I aph directly aided out too but it ended bad. I know that long distance relationship might be a bad example but that's my experience. I tried twice to make a first move in real life but one guy was already in relationship but hid it and other I simply didn't have guts to ask. I really thought there's something wrong with me. I know I'm still young and inexperienced and got silly principles like not using dating sites and going on a random dates but then I thought why not to try? And here I am and I'm honestly having a good time, haha. My friend suggested two dating sites Tagged and this one, I really didn't like former one, I got too many weird messages so I deleted my account. This site is better because you can actually get to know people normally, whether it's for friendship or relationship, also getting some opinions on threads. Anyway, what I try to say, everyone should make their moves if they like someone, even if you fail, use it as your experience, sure it will hurt for some time but really, that's how life works. We all should actually realise that this is not the only reason to live for and having hobbies is really fun, especially doing things with friends! Who knows, maybe through friends or hobbies you will find someone? Cheers.