Random thoughts...

@joemama711 I've been dishwashing for years. Both by hands and by machinery at home and in jobs. Even during power outages while in the middle of COVID-19 risk. Neither vaccinated nor having antibodies.

I’m redownloading tinder. The other apps are just not doing it plus I gotta have them be my level of weird. Not settling for less.

Why do I still get memories randomly and hurt years later? Makes zero sense. Sorry for anyone seeing those posts when I do put them about past shit. Sometimes it gets a lot for me and honestly I should do actual therapy because damn that shit had me f**ked up. INFJs for ya.

@solid_snake95 Unfortunately that's how PTSD works. My best friend is still plagued with memories and dreams about stuff that happened 20 years ago. She's seen a shrink for a decade. I'm not sure the shrinks advice helped as much as just having someone she could openly talk to about it whenever she needed to. A brother-in-law who had PTSD from his time in the army wasn't the shrink type, and tried to find his solution at the bottom of a beer bottle. Eventually he found a better coping mechanism in the arms of a nurse. He said holding her brought him peace. I would suggest give therapy a try if you can. Even if you don't keep going. You might learn some coping mechanisms, and at least get a chance to vent. I really wish I could tell you it would go away eventually, but that's hasn't been my experience. But a good coping mechanism can help a lot. My coping mechanism is writing stuff down in Notepad, and then deleting it when I'm done. Otherwise it will run laps in my head. Or I find an anime to watch to take my mind off it. Or to keep from thinking about it further, I force myself to think about something else. Typically I think about whatever game I'm playing, or anime series I'm watching. What's important is not letting yourself dwell on it. The more you dwell on it the deeper into that darkness you sink. It can be a fine line between, "I need to vent" and "I'm dwelling on it and need to stop".