How important do you think it is to let yourself be vunerable in a relationship?

And how long or well do you get to know someone before you take down your guard? A lot of people here got a real thick wall around them between them and the things they let matter to them. Do you think it's worth digging through that wall to find the gem inside? Or would you prefer someone who values you from the start? How much does a person have to mean to you before you start to care about them? And how important do you find it to be cared about and given affection/attention? Does it matter to you who cares more or who opens up first? Let me know your thoughts on this :D

I don't have a wall, it's more of a hill. I care about someone easily but to have really deep feelings I need to know they are serious and not just using me as a distraction or ego boost till someone better comes along. I've been cheated on several times so I don't have much patience for people that are fickle. I'm cool being friends and certainly open to more but don't start something unless you are serious or tell me if it's not serious so I know not to invest too much emotionally.

I have Ba Sing Se type walls. I do let people in but they are being watched intensely by the Dai Li agents. The moment I even sense a reason to kick you out of the city (my heart/feelings) I do, even if it might be just paranoia. I've had too many coupes or drills that worked and wreaked havoc on me. It depends on the person. Some people. Have opened up quickly and some had to wait a while. I care about everyone as a human but to be someone I worry about in life would have to be through the roof. I think we all like attention or affection? Honestly the only attention and affection that matters to me is my immediate family and who ever I let into Earth Kindom Royal Palace (meaning I love them (but I'm very selective with saying that too)). No it doesn't matter to me. On my end for me to be fully invested in whatever sort of relationship I NEED to open up. Otherwise I can't trust/advance with that person as a friend or whatever.

I think vulnerability can be a two way street. They trust you and you should trust them. Granted it doesn't have to be like that and there will always be relationships that break from the norm. It is all case dependent, but I feel like being vulnerable is a good thing, but not a necessity towards being with someone. We are all functioning independent people. Some people like to have a bit of themselves that only they know, while others like transparency. There is know right time to let your guard time. You just feel it and hope they take that responsibility well. But you do you is what matters the most.

Bury the key deep in the Sahara desert and burn the map to it, then poke your eye ball with a chopstick so you can never recognize the location anymore.

Well My first two relationship where hell....and the second one was shorter but dug a huger hole on me, becouse I opened myself to her so she could embrace my heart and heal my wound but the only thing she did was to put an end to it's misery. I'm afraid that I would not love again, I hate the people over here, I'm also losing my humanity, so I don't think for me that I need a wall for a wasteland, but for all of you that have something living inside I recomend that you never drop that wall. The person that I most loved was the person that hurt me most....I wrote my promises on stone and she on the sand...

I generally become extremely trusting when im in a relationship to the point i have a side of myself constantly calling me an idiot. This has failed multiple times because of never doubting the person i put said trust in. But hey im sure at one point it will work itself out...just need to go bankrupt a few times before i eventually earn something worth all of the emotional beat downs from before. Got a long life to live and if you can find someone to live it with while having no guard points all the better...Just remember the odds you're up against.

When we look at "Vulnerability" in Relationships, I think what people are refering to is letting our Guard down and trusting an individual. People often build walls and tell people they have to Have to earn their trust to get inside. and most of the time, when we let them in, there is still the lingering uncertainty of whether or not they can be trusted ot whatever else, But Honeslty... Trust is not something that is Earned and Taken, It is Something that is realized and Given. I believe the problem with modern times is that people are very insecure about certain things and often look to others or their partners for Validation such as; "Am i Attractive Enough?", "Is my Personality good?", "Am i doing it right?", or "Am i wanted by others?". The reality of the Matter if one is honest with themselves is that Nobody can Validate anything that you want them to and nobody can make you feel that way fully. Self worth should not be measured by how much compliments one gets, or how much suitors that have. Infact a person should not look towards other people for Validation, self-worth is something that is realized by the individual. I believe that people often are too enclosed in their walls that they lose hope or become pessimistic. Human Philosophy and mindset has been made through the distrust and misfortune of others and the occasional Success. People often look to their partners for Validation, happiness or fulfillment, But in order to do so, the partner has to earn or trust or whatever in order to get inside our defenses and enjoy us. People should not be dependent on their partners for happiness or fulfillment. We should instead look to ourselves for it. We need to realize that. Once one becomes happy with their self or realizes their own worth, then they will no longer depend on other people or their relationships for that validation. and thus no longer fear the negative or bad possibilities, A partner should be a augmentation of ones happiness, not the core cause of happiness or validation. One you're happy with yourself, then you'll come to trust others; because you won't care of the negatives. Because your happiness isn't dependent on another person. Even if it doesn't go as planned, you'll still happy with yourself at the end of the day and you won't care. Atleast that's how i see trust and etc. i tend not to live with walls. although i still have a few. though they don't control me. I can open and close my doors at will and even if someone breaks inside and hurts me. I won't care, because i'll heal and still be sure of my worth.