How important do you think it is to let yourself be vunerable in a relationship?

And how long or well do you get to know someone before you take down your guard? A lot of people here got a real thick wall around them between them and the things they let matter to them. Do you think it's worth digging through that wall to find the gem inside? Or would you prefer someone who values you from the start? How much does a person have to mean to you before you start to care about them? And how important do you find it to be cared about and given affection/attention? Does it matter to you who cares more or who opens up first? Let me know your thoughts on this :D

I don't have a wall, it's more of a hill. I care about someone easily but to have really deep feelings I need to know they are serious and not just using me as a distraction or ego boost till someone better comes along. I've been cheated on several times so I don't have much patience for people that are fickle. I'm cool being friends and certainly open to more but don't start something unless you are serious or tell me if it's not serious so I know not to invest too much emotionally.

I have Ba Sing Se type walls. I do let people in but they are being watched intensely by the Dai Li agents. The moment I even sense a reason to kick you out of the city (my heart/feelings) I do, even if it might be just paranoia. I've had too many coupes or drills that worked and wreaked havoc on me. It depends on the person. Some people. Have opened up quickly and some had to wait a while. I care about everyone as a human but to be someone I worry about in life would have to be through the roof. I think we all like attention or affection? Honestly the only attention and affection that matters to me is my immediate family and who ever I let into Earth Kindom Royal Palace (meaning I love them (but I'm very selective with saying that too)). No it doesn't matter to me. On my end for me to be fully invested in whatever sort of relationship I NEED to open up. Otherwise I can't trust/advance with that person as a friend or whatever.

I think vulnerability can be a two way street. They trust you and you should trust them. Granted it doesn't have to be like that and there will always be relationships that break from the norm. It is all case dependent, but I feel like being vulnerable is a good thing, but not a necessity towards being with someone. We are all functioning independent people. Some people like to have a bit of themselves that only they know, while others like transparency. There is know right time to let your guard time. You just feel it and hope they take that responsibility well. But you do you is what matters the most.

Bury the key deep in the Sahara desert and burn the map to it, then poke your eye ball with a chopstick so you can never recognize the location anymore.

Well My first two relationship where hell....and the second one was shorter but dug a huger hole on me, becouse I opened myself to her so she could embrace my heart and heal my wound but the only thing she did was to put an end to it's misery. I'm afraid that I would not love again, I hate the people over here, I'm also losing my humanity, so I don't think for me that I need a wall for a wasteland, but for all of you that have something living inside I recomend that you never drop that wall. The person that I most loved was the person that hurt me most....I wrote my promises on stone and she on the sand...

I generally become extremely trusting when im in a relationship to the point i have a side of myself constantly calling me an idiot. This has failed multiple times because of never doubting the person i put said trust in. But hey im sure at one point it will work itself out...just need to go bankrupt a few times before i eventually earn something worth all of the emotional beat downs from before. Got a long life to live and if you can find someone to live it with while having no guard points all the better...Just remember the odds you're up against.