Being too nice a bad thing?

@Infernal - You would be surprised how foreign a concept balls are indeed. The misnomer is what the at the root of the thread and how one sees the words 'nice guy'. I have seen this in play in my generation growing up and more and more with each following generation. Being nice or polite is a common courtesy and the base cost of entry into polite society, very true, but something else is often happening instead. Like Spencer touched on sometimes they are sacrificing looking after their own needs/values to be seen as nice by others. They think they are doing what they need to get their own needs met by others which is a poor strategy and allows them to coast through society unnoticed and unfulfilled. In nice guys that are always trying to get the girl by hanging around her all the time and doing nice things for them all the time are often not being nice. They are using something called a covert contract. In their head they have made a deal disguised as reason if he does X he will get X from the girl in return. She of course is totally unaware of this deal and gets caught off guard when he one day tries to cash in his prizes and of course gets denied. Often in the rejection he is told he is nice and someone will appreciate it one day because girls are taught that is the polite thing to say to let them down easy unwittingly perpetuating the dysfunction. So instead of using logic and trying something different after repeated failures he doubles down and think if he just tries even harder than before it will work out next time. Kind of sounds the definition of insanity no? This will lead to a life of misery until he breaks aka suicide, forever alone InCel, or becomes the next Elliot Rodgers. Think back girls if you ever had/known a seemingly nice guy make a bulk of his case to give him a chance to date you all the nice shit he has done for you and gives you. It is manipulation via guilt; you are obliged to provide what he thinks he is entitled to. In the grossest reaches he is trying to buy a mate like a prostitute or mail order bride. As pathetic and nefarious as that sounds, it is rarely out of malice but ignorance or negligence in his upbringing and he may not even fully realize he is doing it either. Of course this person has a natural predator. Ever increasing with the nice guy populous is the girl who does see exactly what is going on and happily exploits him for his foolishness but she has issues like a news stand too but that is another story. In the workplace the nice guy is the office bitch so this issue hurts more than dating if bad enough. As always I implore guys that are lamenting being taken advantage of by others or being called nice/too nice all the time to seek out a book called 'No More Mr. Nice Guy'. It has nothing to do with being not nice. It helps clarify how to be truly nice for the right reasons. It also shows how to be nice to yourself and how it will make others see you as a genuine person and see you in a more positive way. I warn it will likely tear apart your childhood paradigms some and get real salty feels for a bit...no pain no gain. It is never too late or too hard just shake off the fear I promise it is worth it. Change your game or enjoy being the butt of this joke: http://youtu.be/e8teRxOSNHs