Being too nice a bad thing?

Yes there is such a thing as too nice and yes it will instantly turn women off and sometimes hold you back in life in general too. I know it well. GFs may also accuse you of being emotionally unavailable in relationships when/if you get them. In marriage the nice guy is the bitch in the relationship for how ever long it lasts. The nice guy at work is the office bitch too. He is the white knight who will fall on his sword out of altruism or his beloved or played the patsy fall guy by someone will less scruples. Ironic I was talking to someone today about a book I read a while back. 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' It is a good book for men in particular who are too Nice but it's short and brief so you have to ponder and introspect. It kind of follows men from the doctors therapy group but provides the complete program. It's a salty read and will chew you up inside a bit if you choose to take it on. It is like taking the red pill in the matrix you will open your eyes to something very ugly and scary then kick it's ass. We covered in a thread a while back too nice aka the nice guy is not actually all that nice because there is covert and subconscious manipulation at play against themselves and their partners due to conditioning during their upbringing. It is never too late to deprogram it and you don't have to turn into a jerk either. Well...anyone who has been exploiting your niceness already might think you become a jerk as they may lose power over you but your real friends and women will notice a positive change as you will be more genuine and confident if you break your habit.

Flamette touched on it perfectly. She first lamented it's hard to find a nice man but then she said she 'loves' the dark/bad boys who have internalized value. If I had a nickle for every woman I have heard say that....or too nice. They are hard to find because good men are not raised as much today. Most of the alpha bad boys are PUA/posers, or really just bad, or they are already taken. The remainder genuine ones will avoid marriage due to the state of legal risks or they value freedom too much to commit. The bad boy(alpha jerk) wins because he knows exactly what he wants and he goes after it decisively without hesitation or fear. No one gets in his way or he removes them, no one pushes him around because he will not allow it and/or pushes back harder, no one disrespects him or his circle because he will not tolerate it and punish it. Anything done is on his terms or he does not do it, he always has choice. They are assertive and can come off harsh but they are in fact the best bet for a mate as they are more successful typically. They are 'nice' only when it is appropriate instead of trying to win validation from everyone to prop up his ego.

I am called nice by everyone and I feel more like a pushover that is why I got dumped pretty stupid for being nice. Can be laugh as laughing stock. Nowadays, girls don't like too nice but want bad boys instead of nice. Nice is genuine and has nothing for expectation in return. I get used since that is my personality and I really hated it. Once I know I get used, I withdraw myself. I became a little cold these days by not trying to interact people inside my life. I find life is getting boring each passing days like nothing has even accomplish in my goal. Not sure how people view life but it is insane and cruel world. Like the word in survival fitness "strong eat the weak."

@nipp I agree that is part of it. It's not just a matter of studies just nature and observation of society over time and seeing what works. The studies only confirm it; even same study results found in a conservative place such as Israel. Yes younger people want to explore and settle down later it's natural but that band of time has widened greatly in the last couple decades as society has evolved and lifespans grown. Biology has not caught up to this yet. Shit go read the singles and adultery dating sub reddits and sift through 100Ks posts older and younger single and married women all saying the same thing. He's great but....too nice, caves on my every demand, tries too hard to please me, not manly or never says what he really feels, can't say no to me...etc... They want someone who can be nice when appropriate and a jerk when needed otherwise he is just an asshole lol. It would seem quack evolutionary psychology shit is required when society has adopted some quack shit of it's own. Fight fire with fire(great song). It was merely one of many suggested books to address the 'too nice' matter as it is a very serious one in some cases. It is not a unique issue today. More info from OP would be handy. The bad boy thing is merely a widely understood analog for example. Certainly not everyone goes for those but they more frequently possess the most desirable traits compared to others. They get a better chance of success in life but does not mean they are always superior as they may not be able to settle down and apply their strengths towards practical long term goals. They have to grow out of some of their negative traits or LTRs don't always have a happy ending. Even this Lesbian went and figured out women do not want sensitive overly nice guys. She Spent 18 months trying to pass herself off as a man and dated over 30 women. When the women found out she was a she some wanted to go bi/lesbian to keep dating her because she flipped the happy switch in their heads. She also noticed something is off with modern men. https://youtu.be/Ip7kP_dd6LU

Women want different things through out their lives. A string of horrible relationships with bad boys will make them want to settle down with a nice guy. You have already got something those guys will need to learn how to do if they ever want a serious relationship. Bad boys tend to be flippant, narcissistic, and self appeasing which makes it easier for them to hop from one person to the next. So you want something that catches women's eyes? Fool them by compensating somewhere. A trendy/well dressed person can exude confidence and sex appeal. Start picking up a couple of men's fashion magazines to stay current on trends. Look up designers online for new collections. Think of it as a bird preparing for mating season. The males always have beautiful coloring, brighter and richer feathers compared to the females... ^_^ In the end, most women would want a nice guy over a dick any day. You just need to steal the attention away from them.