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These Videos helped me how to understand women

timeenforceranubis
@xueli This is exactly what I'm talking about. No empathy for the guys. If the dude doesn't know exactly how to talk to women, but tries anyway, he's "creepy," but if he decides to go for this pick-up-artist stuff, he gets shamed for that, too. This is what I'm talking about when I talk about not backing people into a corner. Let's be real: I'm not a fan of this pick-up-artist stuff either. I think it's underhanded and, in large part, based on the idea of making money off of desperate guys, but social interaction between the genders is at a point where some men think min-maxing social interactions with the opposite sex is the only way they're gonna find someone to date, and that's SAD. These guys are confused, they don't know what to do, and nobody's out there trying to help them -except- these pick-up-artist guys who want to make money. The problem is we have an environment where some men are finding it necessary to resort to these techniques (Sometimes pay money to learn them). How do we fix that in a way that makes both men and women happy?
darkschneider
@xueli - A right hard sell indeed as it depends on the person. Most of the women here I see post such as yourself are on the higher end of the intelligence spectrum. Most of the PUA stuff is a little real science but framed for the average and below side of the curve. I'm sure you have encountered some of the type of girls I am talking about. We used to call them party girls; narcissistic drama queens that fill their hollow souls with drugs, alcohol, and/or revolving door sex with whoever is attractive at the moment and often dream of sacking a rich guy. @Anubis - Gender relations has certainly become a very confusing and hostile realm. You are correct in men having little help as modern society on it's own is a poor teacher. If they are not blessed with natural aptitude socially or have an environment to learn it growing up they are at an initial disadvantage. I had to learn much the hard way without a father or positive masculine role models around as a kid. My mom and the church made me a good citizen but not a good man. I had to do that myself through trial and error since all the advice of mom and church sucked even if well meaning. I see two things that have risen from the state of affairs; PUA who try to exploit nature and hope they don't get burned and MGTOW who are aware of nature but choose to walk away and not participate at all since they see the game as rigged against them via the state. In all fairness there are PUA programs for desperate women to game men or manipulate them into marriage too. It is all the same thing: pushing peoples buttons to hack intimacy.
xueli
@TE when a guys has crossed into the territory of "creepy" that means that he has legitimately triggered a threatened feeling in me. And I'm not about to compromise myself by getting further into a situation that I feel threatened in. That's why it's a hard sell. When most women think you're a creeper, it means that somehow you knowingly or unknowingly acted threatening to them. Social awkwardness is not an excuse. A guy's ego is not a higher priority to me than my safety
timeenforceranubis
@DarkuSchneider Exactly. There's nothing out there that actually teaches men how to interact with women, yet men are -still- expected to take the initiative. And nobody's out there trying to help these guys -except- for the PUA community, so it's really no wonder that guys are turning to that. @xueli Again, this is exactly what I'm talking about. I say "give guys a chance" and you immediately go to "they're creepy." So, they're either creepy or they're PUA dudes. No inbetween. Creepy guys aren't the only guys who have trouble getting a date. And honestly, when the suggestion is "give guys a chance" and the response to that is "no, they're creepy," that just proves how hostile gender relations have become. Guys are scared of engaging with women because they are DEAD afraid of being called "creepy." PUA material capitalizes on this by giving these guys techniques and confidence to engage with women. Now, you don't like PUA material, and neither do I, but the only way to fix the underlying problem contributing to the proliferation of PUA material is for men to be able to interact with women without this Sword of Damocles hanging over their head. How do we solve that problem?
xueli
Maybe we're not understanding each other's view on what a chance is. Because the way I see it, if you're not creepy, then there's already a pretty good chance that I'm already willing to talk to you. What other chances do you need? I mean what chance are you talking about? This is how to approach someone yes? If you cold approach me and I'm talking to you, that's a chance no?
xueli
Also that pressure that you're referring to, that's similar to what the thread on this topic that's about whether or not the OP is broken or free. There's some truth in the old adage that you'll find someone when you stop looking. And that comes from the fact that you're no longer putting pressure on yourself. I've said it before, game is pretty much 80% attitude and 20% presentation skills. The 20% can be learned but that 80% affects everything in your life. If you see approaching people as having a "sword of damocles" over your head, you're gonna come off that way.
kingjay78
Anubis you posted some great shit bro. At the end of the day there are more women on earth than men, BUT women still hold all the power on the dating scene. You would think supply and demand would deem that men should be picking and choosing women, but they aren't.. Women will always be able to thumb through guys and pick the one they think is the best. Thats what these videos are doing, they are trying to help you get picked! Like I said before FIRST Impression is EVERYTHING. So if you arent drop dead gorgeous, or Kevin Hart funny you gotta give yourself an "Edge". Majority of girls LOVE the infatuation stage. They love the butterflies and heartaches that a "Jerk/Asshole/Badboy" provides. Girls love being challenged! Girls love chasing for a guys affection and earning it. When you are a "nice guy" which i think most of the guys here fall into this category.. Your basically telling her "You Win".. How would you feel if you spent 59.99 on the new batman game and it was only one mission.. You batclaw through a window, punch the joker.. game over.. Thats how these girls think that spend 100s on make up and dresses and hair to look pretty, and they dont get that rush of emotions from a challenge that they want.. Unfortunately Asshole guys supply that thrill and excitement for women. Thats why they win. Especially with girls 16-30. Now after she is burnt out from having too much fun and wants a respectable man to raise a family with... THEN the nice guy is good enough for her.. Now being infatuated isnt important no more, that high feeling has gotten old. Now she wants a family and kids.. Something an asshole isnt going to want. All n all you gotta make yourself stand out with women because at the end of the day the woman wants to leave the Bar, lounge, anime convention, club, yugioh basement tournament, COD gaming tournament, with the most desirable guy. The one all the other girls want.. The one that bring social value! If thats not you, you wont get picked, and she will never know how good of a guy you are because you didnt pass the eye test.. These videos help you understand how to pass the eye test
xueli
I like how some of the men on here claim to somehow know more about how "women" (despite the fact that we're not actually a hive mind) think than the women who've posted on here do. I can see why people who think like y'all have problems with social interactions to the point that you need Misogynistic PUA tactics to try to succeed in having a conversation. Lord knows I've posted examples of how that thinking is NOT true but if you insist then that's that.
yaasshat
@ Xueli, Yup and that's why I usually just say my two cents and leave it at that. Either people will listen or they won't, no sense in beating a dead horse.
vampire_neko
Our whole culture is problematic. The easy availability of (unrealistic and emotionally detached) online porn which is pretty much most children's first exposure to sexual intimacy creates an early and often permanent view of sexual gratification as being the the primary objective of intimate male-female involvement. Particularly for the males that feel like they need to "score" to be a "man". And women who feel they need to use their sexual desirability to manipulate men for their own gain or social status. People often don't have good examples of healthy romantic relationships and just get caught up in the never-ending sexual mind games that media and movies love to exploit for entertainment value (just making thing worse). Hence the saying: "Don't hate the player, hate the game." So you can either play the game to get laid and most likely have unsatisfying emotional relationships based mostly on sex. Or don't play at all and just be yourself and meet girls who don't play games either. It might take longer but it will be a more "real" relationship and more likely to last.
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