What's your strongest inclination? Again, if you haven't, this really feels like the sort of thing you'd discuss with someone at your church who'd have more knowledge on the spiritual side of things. Me? I'd go with my gut and pursue the family life. It sounds like you'd be constantly struggling with the "what if" part if you decided to forgo that and besides, you can still do things for the church in MANY capacities even with a family. Also, women within your age bracket and at least 10yrs older are plenty capable of having healthy children (Duh... The likelihood of complications and fertility issues goes up, but you're not anywhere out of range.).

I can understand having a calling for religious work (Believe it or not,I was once like that, albeit a Baptist.)... But, to be a dad/father? We have urges and desires, but until you've met someone with whom you'd love to have children with, it's all on paper and daydreams. I've not one singular time EVER regretted having kids (One was a surprise and out of wedlock. But, if you play with fire, you're bound to get burned.lol). However, I do hate not having a local support system. I'd love to have just a day to truly decompress and bond a little better with my fiancee. Raising another little human isn't always a happy or even joyous thing, but I'd argue that it's one of life's greatest blessings and honors. Be prepared to work on your patience DAILY and to have little eyes that won't even let you use a restroom alone.lol If I were to say I had a regret concerning having kids, I only wish I had them about 20yrs ago.lol You're 32, you're not at a crossroads for this stuff.lol Just relax and maybe see if there any classes through your church that might help with any of these things.