Lamby

" its not totally a wrong look at it really. iv had the opposite reaction actually, people tend to duck debates with me after starting them. they then accuse me of being bad faith but can never show me how. ever. it is really bothersome and i feel gaslit by it, so i suppose im a bit touchy when people just duck out. (this has happened mostly on the vegan debates iv had.) just a sore nerve i suppose that iv become more and more annoyed by. i just wish that if i was arguing in such bad faith people could point to where and why so i can improve, but they never do, so all im left with is feeling like im being gaslit and theyr cowards. i suppose iv grown a 'me vs them; mentality that isnt always fair. (but i do think wesley is disingenuous xD i think my response was warranted with that discussion) basically people shouldnt pick fights they cant finish i guess. idk im ranting/venting x3" yeah people duck debates with you because it's hard arguing with someone who is exclusively calling out all bullshit in the digital vicinity. i felt intimidated by you for like maybe your first or second post but by the third post in our first vegan ethics chat i could tell you were a straight up logician and whatever you have to say is shit i want to hear, precisely because you care about the soundness and validity of what the fuck you're saying (sad that that's a rare quality among ppl =/ ) i think people are so not used to the citations and fact-checking from competent ppl that when someone like you presents them with it they don't understand that their bullshit is LEGIT being called out, not just in an opinion-based way but in a matter-of-fact way. a lot of people think too highly of themselves to be swayed by, you know, what should sway them haha. and yeah that's fair to think it's being gaslit for being called out on perceived bad faith, but i honestly think it's just bone-headedness on your opponent's ends. don't take that personally! we must find someway to break their shitty indoctrinated resolves, is all. another critical problem is that our opposition doesn't understand the violence against our freedoms that is perpetrated by our overlords. to, ya know, not stupid people who can tell how fucked they're getting, it's frustrating when ppl who were so easily indoctrinated to their entitled shitty views, hold those entitled and shitty views and act divisively and obnoxiously in some vain effort to justify their bootlicky shit. that being said, can't blame them for being frustrated at your frustration, which does very slightly ooze out into your words. it's FAR from bad faith, but it may sometimes breach what i as a white boy would say is 'proper etiquette'. but i haven't experienced a shit ton of violence from government/cultural forces so it's easy for me to say that. if i was even more fucked by society i might have more anger, for sure. (and oh it totally was warranted, it's just is that enough reason to say that it is the most effective way to get across to him, i disagree on that, specifically) and yeah they shouldn't pick fights with ya! i think of your time as very valuable and feel super happy when you wanna have discourse on shit with me. fuck anyone who isn't going to act in proper good faith and etiquette to you. send them to me and let me do the cyber bullying. i'm already known as a giant piece of shit in some online circles so no harm to my reputation! and yus, feed me the rants and vents >:D soon i'll have enough psychic power to take over this whole website! *mua ha ha*

wow. gonna address that in a random order and without quotes. that was too prose-y to respond by quoting it out and responding. you get the poetry in response to that poetry. i think life can be and is cruel, objectively in that precise way you mentioned. I think my break from that 'doom' state of mind is the fact that i put pleasure with an unknown weight in terms of moral significance when compared to pain. i would never allow a gross golden-rule violation, like interpersonal violence for pleasure, to constitute as acceptable behavior, but i think that's a well different scenario than the intrapersonal violence that is being frustrated with our mortal coils and suffering mentally/emotionally/existentially as a result. don't get me wrong, i'm not all sunshine and rainbows. suicidal ideation has to be a topic that is tackled with fair consideration by anyone who views themselves a thinking person, not for any particularly poetic reason other than the fact that existence is objectively beyond bizarre and it IS torturous to think about it and the human position that we have in it. to spin it any other way is reckless optimism. that being said, i think it's basically fact that our sentience allows us to suffer more, that makes good sense. but i think that it allows us to be happy and inquisitive in stronger ways too! i think the true final step to this line of thought is appreciation for the very fabric of reality. one must escape the pitfalls of poetry and the roleplay that was set before them and appreciate space-time, simply for being there. thank the sun and our planet for sure, they're tight and we get to be alive which is tight! but ultimately love the void space inbetween stars, as well as blackholes, the flow of time, every single little [no]thing is interesting just by the fact that it exists. like why and how is there even an existence at all? not just the physical space and everything in it, but the thing in it's entirety! i think entertaining that honest curiosity more than justifies survival and the pain the comes along with it, in my contemplation, introspection, and experience. that doesn't mean death isn't relief! it's ultimately unknown. death could be the absolute dopest state of existence and we'd never know. no need to rush headlong there, and no need to dwell on it. i think people who stop at this mindset that you bring up project their insecurity with the fact that we, as people, have no objective purpose, and as such we have to make our own purpose for life. just because there's no objective purpose doesn't mean our own goofy ones aren't valid! given the goofy and bizarro nature of existence even if an objective purpose were to be evident to everyone it would still be fucking weird and stupid, i guess is how i feel about it. my journey into rationalizing my depression away manifested in this form. i hope this not only gives you insight as to who i am as a person, but also helps you in any struggles you might be facing. and no matter what anyone says, it is a crock of shite that we're here and have to experience this. it's because it *is* anything at all that it makes it worthwhile for me, personally. i'mma respond to the other thing as well!