Confessions

Got the message now God. I will always assume no one likes me and will die alone unless someone themselves approaches me with love. Just tired of all the rejection. I just wanna give up but can't because I'm lonely.

It's all a numbers game, just keep at it. It wouldn't be as special if you found someone as soon as you looked. Keep your chin up buddy.

The key to finding someone is to stop actively looking......that and phone sex lol. Okay the phone sex is more of a self referential joke since it recently occurred to me that every relationship I've had except for one surprisingly started after a sex call and that call usually happened the very first day I would talk with them. Interestingly enough it turns out that 75% of them had already planned to have the call go in that direction from the very beginning. Stupid self-referential joke aside, the first part is true, it's easier to find somebody when you stop focusing on trying to find someone.

I'm trying this new thing called "being happy with yourself". People can almost instinctively smell desperation and the stank of being despondent. Stupid easy to say and stupid hard to truly do. Let me be the first on here to say that being in a relationship does not in any sense make things easier. If anything, being in a relationship makes things drastically more complicated. But, even I know I seek out complications.lol To be happy with yourself, you must ACTIVELY implement change and you have to be consistent until you see results. Unfortunately, this is not one of those things anyone can do for you or force you to do for yourself. I've found that exercise leaves no room for thought(You're to focused on the goal of exercise.), in the moment. I say that as I plan on having a lazy night when I get off from work.lol