Life Advice

There's something I have been thinking about in regards to dating. This I think applies more to online dating specifically. I think it goes without saying that if you don't talk to people, don't engage in conversation, reply, get to know someone, you won't develop a relationship. From time to time, I've seen profiles or gotten messages saying "I'm not here for fun. Serious relationships only." I engage in basic conversation like "How is your day, tell me about your hobbies and goals, got any fun trips or holiday plans, ect." Just normal conversation pieces. But the responses is "I'm not interested in making Internet friends. I'm looking for a husband." ...Ok. I respect your focus on that goal. But how are you going to meet your future spouse if you deem attempting basic conversation with you as a turnoff and immediately shut down interaction? You will literally meet and get to know nobody, thus no relationship will develop. Am I missing something? Am I weird for thinking you have to talk to people and get to know them to develop a relationship with them? Or is there some part of this process that skips this I am not aknowledging is a thing now?

Weeeeell... Thing is... It might just be... PERHAPS...Just possibly ... Maaaaaybe... They're not interested in getting to know you? No one is owed a thing and even less online. Don't let it make you forlorn because people reject or neglect your attempts at conversation online. Frustration is a mighty powerful scent.

I think as annoying and spamming as a chat window could be, it would do this place wonders. Surprised there was never that sort of element added. A GROUP one that is. I like chatting in groups more than one on one. Because at least then it's not individual people trying to carry a conversation.

Nothing is gonna change, this place has been around since 2009/10.lol It'd be great to have something like yahoo chat rooms back in the day, though.

This site needs an overhaul on updating and advertising to bring in a wider audience. It would also be profitable to have ads on the site and so many people looking at said ad. This site showed alot of potential and it still does. Just needs to get with the times.

There is something to be said about the importance of communication. And I agree there is a growing issue with people wanting to form deep relationships without feeling engagement is necessary. People are not wrong for attempting to form bonds through social interactions and it does help people to grow socially through said interactions. Nothing put in is nothing put out. The old "nobody owes you anything" response reveals the hand of someone who isn't committed to others. It's a "I'm just gonna do me, screw you attitude" that doesn't show any desire to know another person past surface level. Typically these same people have been in multiple "committed" relationships that end with a lot bad feelings years after separation from former spouses. And I know that simply through observing people within my own family. It's lead me to have to bridge a lot of gaps that could have been avoided. Actively listening to one another while participating within their families relationship rather than waiting for the children that were born from it to clean up the mess left by previous generations. This is but one consequence of a laissez faire relationship that bares thorns with its fruit. So I can't advise that approach.

You can be direct, ya know.lol Cool to know though. Very cool indeed. Perspective, my man. Moving on... To be honest, it's things like that that keep me guarded and not of a "I'm just gonna do me, screw you attitude".

Did something I say bother you? I was putting my personal perspective on the advice given publicly. Would you wish to talk about it more?

I suppose some of it struck a cord. I mean, it definitely coincided with what I said and then was elaborated upon in what felt like a passive aggressive attack. Albeit, it wasn't directed at me per say, the subjects involved sure rang close enough. You most definitely should be able to voice your public opinion on anything, even things said by others publicly. However, in that same breath, so should I. If there's clarity and honesty that it wasn't personal (As in, some how judgmental or meant to berate.) , I've no issue. Really, I enjoy perspective, even if an ounce was personal (Giving opinion on my opinions count.). Perhaps what I said struck a cord with you? Oh... The "Committed" relationship part of "these people is where the irritation truly comes from. Now, again, that might not be for me, but it all is meant to tie together. Right? That just felt like a judgment on something you literally know nothing about aside from what breadcrumbs I've dropped over the years. That's all. However, maybe even on that matter, I need some perspective and personal reflection. I could just be way to defensive and lack a ton of confidence, too. Thus, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's instead, a cow.lol