Beta Readers

I finally finished my manuscript's first chapter. I'm currently looking for brutally honest people to help me basically edit in a way. I have it in light novel and manga form. It's 20 pages manga, 12 pages light novel. All I need is your brutally honest opinion and what you'd like to see changed to make it better. Thanks.

Here's the character reveal, back cover, and front cover. Though because my official title png won't load on here, it's: World Eater: Rebirth not Rise of the Moon