Religious rants

Just a quick tip to stop the terror if anybody care. Loving God with your whole mind heart and soul is hard we are flawed creatures. Jesus knows this. The terror of hell makes us think what if my love wasn't enough I must be terrified and exhausted and always and do more. What if my obedience wasn't enough I must be terrified and exhausted always and do more. And, that's a terrible way to go about faith it creates resentment and fear as if Jesus is always waiting to say you didn't do enough to get in. You see the problem us thinking we can do enough to get in. Paul said by grace you have been saved through faith. Faith is suppose to be us knowing Jesus is enough Jesus knew we wouldn't be enough. So if your living in fear your not enough your not doing enough and Jesus will say you didn't do enough to get in your doing faith all wrong. Your not suppose to let fear propell you forward you move forward by knowing by grace you have been been saved through faith that Jesus is enough. It doesn't mean stop trying to do better it means you don't have to walk in fear cause Jesus is enough. We could never be enough. That creates a hold different relationship dynamic. I learned this thanks to Jesus glory be to God. I hated I couldn't love God perfectly I wanted to do enough to be saved. But, God is enough. This is genuinely the best love I know how to give God right now. And, that's ok I don't have to live in terror cause I love him imperfectly he is enough. I can try not from a place from I'm not enough but from a place he is enough.

Things that make me not really be friends with a Panera Bread customer I met: * He disagrees with the oldest member of a now-closed Presbyterian church when he passed away at the age of 101-years old on his quote, "No matter how much you read any version of The Bible, it's simple: just believe in Jesus!" * He disagrees with who my Elder Gen-X big sister literally was involved with, Dixie Carter in Designing Women on her quote saying King James was a "big male chauvinist". https://youtu.be/iqUBrEuFlAc?is=ZQh8XM75x7251coz * He dislikes my infodumping, a common autistic trait while saying we all are on the spectrum which is not true. He's a hard-headed neurotypical.

This was my last preacher my mother really loved and enjoyed. He used to live in Butler, Pennsylvania. This wasn't at the Presbyterian church we used to go to which is now permanently closed. He is now deceased and will forever be missed. https://youtu.be/J0oWkQ-p6AE?is=nfHdL7JQ-xtkTDS4 https://youtu.be/xHJLs4Kap20?is=7VK3f35C_peu_V20 https://youtu.be/ZcmbuGzTBHg?is=YFJCCDNebZ2hPV9Q

I don't know about yall but I hate when my mind strays from the truth. You can only reach the opposite conclusion about God so many times till you get sick of it. And, feel irked to do something. For me the solution wasn't trying to understand him more. It was acknowledging I can't think straight. Trying to force a understanding that makes sense to me does not always produce accuracy. I'm so sick of my accuracy being off I had to acknowledge I can't think straight. That made God clearer because I'm not trying to understand how God is good i acknowledge I can't think straight and accept it at face value without trying to understand if his promises are accurate or not. I accept that he is accurate even when my mind is not. But, my mind being inaccurate really pissed me off so I learned to not lean on my understanding I just acknowledge I can't think straight sometimes. I know most won't feel safe with God to trust him and acknowledge you can't think straight and accept his conclusions as good and true. But, me personally I'm happy to be aligned I'm just happy I finally learned to get out the way. But, this type of acknowledgement and acceptance isn't for everyone though. I truly love God and don't want to hold opposite conclusions than the truth. Some believe God is trying to pull one over on them. Me well I trust him and acknowledge I can't think straight sometimes. I can fully trust my mind with God that he wouldn't lie to me. But, not everyone feels that is safe. They have there own ideas and conclusions and trust there accuracy.

Everyone think the awakening is here where you step away from God and chose your own path. Problem is no one can think straight we just think we do. Everyone believe in the accuracy of there thoughts. And, the ceiling ain't that high. Go make some waves and you'll find out. I had made up my own religion I didn't care about God or Satan I made fun of them. I thought I was a angel who believed in human potential to fix this world more than I believed in God's or devils. Then I reached the ceiling and got my ass kicked by schizophrenia. I found out not only was I not the perfect angel that I thought I was I had darkness I didn't even know about. I bet they hate when a self righteous imbecile doesn't even know his self trying to make waves. Everything I thought was accurate was beaten out of me. Or in a better word my accuracy was challenged. People challenge each other perspectives today but both believe in there accuracy and can't conceive that they are wrong they must prove they are right. So rarely does a change of thinking occur. People never had there ego get a ass whopping and made to feel like they not accurate. Cause they can avoid it. With schizophrenia you can't avoid it. They hate pain why God did this happen to me. Have you ever thought that maybe our imperfect blind ass need a ass whopping? I still fucking hate it that how resistant humans are to there ego getting a ass whopping. Make a mfer want to lash out and curse existence thinking what did I do to get a ass whopping. Maybe your owed that ass whopping but you do your best to avoid it. There so many people out there who think they the perfect angel and don't know they ego need a ass whopping. They ego protects there self from hurt. Well the voices came and tow my little stupid ass up. And, I came out better. They don't want there ego challenged by God cause they to grown nobody can tear there little ass up. Not that my voices come from God I haven't had the pleasure of hearing his voice yet I'm stuck with these losers. Lot's of people say they about themselves and listening to themselves on there spiritual journey but they same people go out a channel stuff they know nothing about. Why do the people at the top still act like assholes that mean the ceiling is low. Why don't they use there accuracy to get in touch with themselves they all losing themselves channeling all this wack shit. God the only one who make you fight with yourself and make you kick your own ass. Plus, it's dangerous channeling all that shit out here. Muslim say you will get virgins. God the only one who say fight that shit it's not Good. He be handing down whoop ass but nobody can take that smoke. He talks to you about pride which is running rampant today. Hollywood make fun of Jesus all the time and people think he isn't the way to salvation. They completely ignore the fact people get filled with the holy spirit as if man trying to play you naw you just don't really like that ass whopping that what it is. Who tf is gonna challenge your accuracy when you don't have things like schizophrenia knowing we avoid challenge and can't conceive that we are wrong and only focused on proving we are right. But, you ain't gotta trust my accuracy I know people will follow what they believe. I'm doing the same I like God cause he whoops that shit out of me. And they fear him and hate him. Yep that's my guy they must hate him and fear him for a reason. They don't fear all the bullshit you do with crystals or fear you in general your a fucking pack however powerful you think you are. You just ain't done shit that make waves. They fear the name Jesus. But, don't trust my accuracy I just find it worrying knowing how perfect we think we are and how accurate we think we are what's to keep us out of trouble. Many minds get lost to psychosis with nobody to kick there ass off the rails to insanity or destruction. But, don't trust me I already acknowledged I can't think straight and trusted my mind to Jesus accuracy. Maybe I need my ass kicked for this rant cause I'm imperfect and just plain wrong and shouldn't be making waves. But, idk the world confusing I'm just going for what I know. People like to judge God as if they can do better. If given the chance to walk in his shoes you would see how small you are and how more atrocious you inherently are. And, you would beg for him to make it stop. It's easy to judge. Could you do it? I bet you couldn't even understand things that you know nothing about in his position in time for everything to not devolve into chaos immediately. It's easy to judge without knowing the details. Could you even be gentle? I doubt it. But, this will be my last rant about stuff like this. I'm gonna focus on my walk with Jesus and being a better Christian I'm not perfect instead of trying to push my imperfect knowledge. Also, I'm compromised I don't know why I have voices that's not God. So It's best I shut up. I just found it nice to know I can't think straight and have someone I can trust like Jesus I can literally take a break from thinking so hard. I don't like thinking anyway. This is so tight to trust someone else accuracy. To others it may seem foolish. I just know it sure is nice to take it easy. People really want someone they can trust so there mind can take it easy. But, they know it's dumb to trust. God said do not be conformed by this world. This world wants us to think there's nothing we can trust. So we question everything. We been conditioned to not trust anything. We look at God through the lens of this world. But, God is not of this fallen world he is above it. His nature is perfect and just. I trust him and I can take it easy knowing there someone I can trust. I know I can't think straight because this world creates mistrust. So to trust his accuracy really takes a load off. I think that's why he say don't lean on your own understanding. Because to us everyone is out to get us. Anyway, that's the end of my rant.

The ceiling is very low people who go they own path reach that ceiling and get changed if they making waves out of control. Pastors even reach it. Celebrity's reach it something is changing people to break the integrity of there beliefs. Something or someone will try to dominate you if you make the wrong moves. Just a warning be careful out there especially on your own path. Me personally I'm trying to follow in Jesus foot steps. I gotta stop putting myself in danger. Nobody gives af.

I had a realization while my pastor was praying and preaching today. Lot's of people don't know how to flush there system. When they get a harsh word or something they hear about God anger them they take that anger towards God. I found why wait till you actually cry. Why not cry in the spirit. You can turn your anger into tears in the spirit. You can turn all your mistrust doubt into tears in the spirit. Anger arises because people don't flush there system / spirit. You don't actually have to cry you can just imagine you are crying and flushing your system. We keep adding up things we hold against God even when we try to start over they come back up. I think it's because we don't flush our system / spirit maybe we just need to let go in the spirit. Just a tip for those not directly opposed to God and want to have a relationship with him.

I'm not a pastor so this is just a man trying to understand God. I found when a pastor gives a harsh word it often times make people fall away from the faith. Here's what I learned from giving up on God for a couple days. People don't like a harsh word because it breaks there illusion of security and replaces that security with a impossible standard they must meet to feel secure. It feels like your on thin ice instead of the solid rock foundation Jesus is. When you realize you can't be perfect the weight becomes to heavy and that's when people start walking away from the faith. Because they feel insecure and heavily burden. The burden of trying to be perfect and the spiritual anxiety / insecurity of not knowing if your good enough to be safe makes alot of people fall away from the faith. Including myself. It's the fact that the word took your security away and you no longer feel safe for being who you are and where you are. People normally do one of 3 things after noticing that. 1. Some give up the faith to escape the constant feeling of guilt and inadequacy cause they know they can't be perfect and carry this heaven burden and they want to feel secure again for who they are and where they are. 2. They start to perform out of fear or as a bargain as if they can purchase safety with there good performance they always feel like they on thin ice with God never seeing Jesus as a solid foundation which to have hope in putting more focus on who they are rather than who Jesus is. I found myself at 3. 3. We are meant to be secure in God, but true security is rooted entirely in His faithfulness, not in the false confidence that we have done everything right. If you feel secure because you think you have checked all the right boxes, that is not security in God—that is security in yourself. The story of the Pharisee and tax collector MADE ME SEE CLEARLY AND I CAUGHT IT FINALLY number 2 thinks if he does everything right he will be secure just like the Pharisee believed. The Pharisee had pride in his own religious achievements. Number 3 knows he has no leverage here and cannot earn this but hopes for mercy anyway. Number 2 says I'm going to chruch cause I'm scared and I'm trying to perform and earn my way into heaven I'm paying god back. Number 3 says I have heeded you in love and have gone to chruch I know this cannot earn me grace it is your finished works through which I am saved nothing i do can pay that back. One moves from a place of fear of salvation. The other moves from a place of security in Jesus and is stirred to move from a place of awe and love cause of his sacrifice. He trys not out of fear of punishment he trys cause of the one who loves him even though he's a sinner. Jesus just want us to reciprocate some love back. Not do it out of fear like a slave or robot. Now that I understood the difference between love and fear I have some love to give to God. You know what that means A RELATIONSHIP. It's all God wants. For you to reciprocate some love back. Maybe like read your Bible not to earn something just to spend some time with him. 1 John 4:18 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.