Religious rants

I use to get these warnings in my head a psychical sensation when I think something bad about God or if I think to say something hurtful to another person or if I think about how evily I can fight. At first I thought it was the voices doing it. But, why would they care if I have thoughts of crashing out. I think it was the holy spirit convicting me. When I noticed they stopped. Please come back I need hands on I'll listen you can't leave us simple humans to our own devices I love correction. I think it was the holy spirit trying to get my attention that what I was thinking is wrong. If it was the voices they gonna get in trouble for trying to play both sides all the time. They just pretending to gain credibility. So there attacks can carry more weight. I'm glad I serve a jealous God that says no one can snatch you from his hand. Because I sometimes listen to correction from the voices when they making sense and I sometimes wonder is that condemning me. I'm just trying to better myself and fix my mind I don't listen to em when they talk bullshit. Lord I want you and the holy spirit to be the only correcting force in my life. I don't want these wishy washy voices that are demonic. If you are the jealous God you say you is please sit upon your throne in my temple that belongs to you evict what is not of you. I know your knowledge is infinitely better than these pretenders. My everything belongs to you don't it? So evict these sly demonic pretenders all they want is a foothold to cause chaos.

If you went to a restroom of a Panera Bread, then encountered a Caucasian male adult wearing white tanktop, blue jeans, cowboy boots and carrying a Bible, while committing flatulence in front of a urinal, then said to you, "Jesus loves you!", what would you do? This happened right before we moved from Biden Administration to Trump Second Term Administration.

I wanted to believe this drone photography was photoshopped, but its even on Google Maps. New Lexington, Ohio. Perry County. Scroll north east. Y'all remember the first time I was ranting about acid mine run off in the drinking water? It was only orange back then.

Are people like me when they hear God's word that you don't reject it but in your mind your fighting with it as your trying to accept it. Your knowledge has something to say about it even if it's just counter thoughts or just the doubt in your heart. I wrestled with God and submitted. I have found that trusting him and leaning not on your own understanding pretty much solves the resistance issue. So if you notice resistance and don't like it it's because you have not fully trusted him yet.

The physical sensation in my head that I rarely experience when I have a bad thought about something or someone might not be from the holy spirit I think it's the voices cause last night this sensation wouldn't go away. I know i asked God if it's the holy spirit show me more. But, I thought nothing bad so for it to come and not leave must be the voices fucking with me. As if I would go crazy just cause they can fuck with me. Most schizophrenics would be like there is a chip in my brain or there is a bug in my brain. Oh no I'm AI. There mind would go crazy jumping to all kind of delusions. It's likely they just fucking with me so I think it's God they great pretenders and manipulaters you can't manipulate a narcissist. They know I'm desperate to receive guidance from God so they can use that. They want me to see it as something grand and become grandiose they really adamant about how powerful I am. I know power corrupts. My servitude is meant for my God only. Satan can do signs and wonders and counterfeit miracles to deceive people. I'm not a fresh spawn nibba I do this. One day God will evict the counterfeit from my mind and make his wisdom and glory known. Tactile hallucinations are known for schizophrenia so it's in the voices repertoire. If God wanted to make his presence known he would do so in a way that doesn't cause confusion and you would be sure. To these counterfeit voices my God is greater https://media.tenor.com/DVkZ269GdysAAAAM/borat.gif I have to be cautious about what I perceive as signs knowing other forces at play and at play heavly. I don't know why God left me in the wilderness with monsters to talk to. It's loco that I can't hear from you. But, I trust your wisdom. Just don't forget this lost boi he doesn't want to talk to monsters but he's alone and lost. Don't forget him please. Monsters lie try to manipulate then act like your friend. Lord Jesus how long will you let my guides be monsters? Sometimes they take me deeper in the darkness Sometimes they make it seem like they trying to get me out. They untrustworthy. Edit: Lord Jesus how long must I deny my aching heart that feels unseen passed over left to the persuasion of the ungodly. They say he doesn't see you he doesn't care for you he has forsaken you I know it to be the persuasion of the ungodly? I trust your wisdom. Don't forget this soldier. Because this soldier won't forget about you. Edit: Learned about the persuasion of the ungodly today that should be effective going forward.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8n8Q7jB/ This video a mom posted to tiktok of what her son would do in the face of bullying got all kinda mean comments about how she raising a pussy. No she raising a man that's not easily provoked to anger. Having been through bullying myself and my gf just had to get a girl expelled from bullying my daughter. You don't want your kids to act in anger at the situation and possibly lose control and do something that they will regret doing. Cause bullying over time creates misplaced anger. I would tell my child to tell them all this stuff your doing needs to stop or I will tell my parents and a teacher. And, any respectable adult will handle it if they worth a damn. Just like the girl got expelled for bullying my daughter. I learned alot from little man how not to be provoked to anger by the voices bullying. They just want to get under your skin and make you get out of character and hate them and hate God and hate life with your misplaced anger. She's doing a good job the world just retarded and think acting in anger is best for a child that have yet learned to control there emotions what kind of example are we setting for the future. I learned alot from this mother son duo.

The one thing I notice with those who have schizophrenia. The voices operate off poisoning so I know who they come from the one who poisoned us in the beginning. They poison the mind heart and spirit. Your spirit gets weak and more susceptible to the venom with each bite. Your mind gets weak and susceptible to venom with each bite. Your heart gets weak and susceptible to the venom with each bite. But, the word of God is medicine to all flesh and spirit. They attack with the same things over and over that they know will hurt you the words you fear and that cause you the most pain because they want to inject as much venom as possible. You hurting let's them know there venom is effective. Over time you start hurting more and more deeply. Now the strikes and the venom is pushing you into a mind heart spirit state of helplessness and you chose to succumb to your wounds cause your tired of fighting. I can't lie I'm very sick. I'm not holier than though. They been striking me from a long time. And, I don't know if the word of God is enough to heal my wounds the poison is deep. And, I don't feel like God is on a rescue mission to save me. But, I'm still fighting I'm stubborn. But, the pain is louder than God's promise. So I won't preach something I don't even fully believe I just know the word of God says... Luke 10:19 19 Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Mark 2:17 When Jesus heard it, He said unto them, “They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. Edit: I just peaked game and overide that shit because everything was manufactured for me not to believe. My life narcissism schizophrenia. Looking at my circumstances I say yeah I know why that manufactured little faith in you. But, now I'm appalled that I could be manufactured by these circumstances like I just can't choose to go against this unbelief at the moment of my choosing because I feel like it instead of being in a manufactured state of unbelief cause of my circumstances. What that sound like? They must not know me I hate being boxed in. God pulled me out of that box it wasn't my strength. I want to have faith beyond the circumstances that manafactured unbelief. I believed my problems was bigger than God no God is bigger than my problems. Ain't no problem finna tell me what type of faith I can have not gonna let you manufacture me and make my faith small. Don't tell God how big your storm is, tell the storm how big your God is. All glory to Jesus for helping my faith.

That verse from I think Adele song where she says... I can't love you in the dark it feels like we oceans apart It stuck with me it's hard to love God when we going through trails and tribulations and feel like we in darkness it can feel like we oceans apart from God. In the darkness when everything is going bad it's hard to love God. We can't see his grace, mercy, favor, and love in the dark. It feels like his love is oceans apart from us. The tension from trying to love God when it's truly dark is real that's why that verse hits so hard to me because my heart desires and wants to love God even in the dark but I find myself failing. I see things are going bad so God must be far from me that's what your eyes tell you. Faith says... 2 Corinthians 5:7 7 For we walk by faith, not by sight Isaiah 41:10 10 So do not fear, for I am with you do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Tried to keep it short.

Signs I received this week... I was watching a pastor on tiktok he was talking about not giving up and honestly I was tired of being told not to relax and keep trying my hardest like some cyclops on the front lines. I have a bone to pick with God. But, anyway I was really at my wits end from how hard this journey is. So I went to the store to get a vape to calm down on my way home the radio station was talking about not giving up and quantum leaps I guess that was my sign from God because I was really distressed. I know people want to get signs from God but it was almost like a slap in the face telling me to keep going I run my mind ragged already. But atleast I got a sign. I guess I aught to be thankful for the message with perfect timing. Atleast he sees me. Not give up means there still a chance and he wants me to keep going. I'm just ungrateful trash that's tired but on we go. Thank you jesus for the sign. Anyway there is something weird that happen to me today the song I posted on here by school food punishment called 0459 as I listened to it I was prompted to look at the time randomly and it was 9:45 strange I thought nothing of it I only had one thought to look at the time and it was the exact numbers strange so I went to sleep read some novels then the song came to my mind again and I randomly looked at the time it was exactly 9:54 strange 2 for 2 I hadn't looked at the time but 2 times today and it was the exact numbers of the song strange I think they call that synchronicity but idc i just want to go home to Jesus idc that the universe wants to tell me I'm on the right path I hate my path it's hard getting my cheeks clapped thanks for letting me know I guess that I'm not getting my cheeks clapped for nothing. If synchronicity even mean something. Edit: Not that I care about synchronicity or the universe you can leave me alone with that coincidence shit that's how people go crazy. Still strange but idc.