Religious rants

I don't know what I'm talking about so I deleted everything I said. I made some mistakes in my walk. I pray that nothing I ever said sticks with anyone in the name of the Lord.

Mistakes... I'm not religious, buuuuut...You be struggling, yo...Soooo... Imma drop this. Isn't the Bible ALL about backsliding and redemption? Just a thought.

The Bible is all about backsliding and redemption. We could never save ourselves. We can't keep even a small part of the rules, all of which were made for our and society's benefit. I read a lot of this thread and some seems old so I'm not sure where to jump in. I'd love to discuss any of this. I spent years trying to search for the truth intellectually, only to find it in my relationship with Jesus.

I do not like Hypocrites in my own faith. There's TONS of them that do not follow the words and expectations provided by the Good Book. It's frustrating but everyone has their worldly prejudices.

Just feel like advocating for Jesus with my personal experiences for anybody on the fence. You may ask why can't I be my own God? Well from my experiences with schizophrenia while being accused hard enough by the voices to actually find myself believing and feeling the weight and helplessness of being my own God. I reached the most sane conclusion that being our own God is the most mad thing we ever let grace our psyche. I realized after believing myself in the actual position to be my own God how much I needed help. The voices convinced me I'm in trouble and ain't nothing harder than trying to get out of trouble you don't understand. Trouble that is outside anything you learned here on earth. You realize how much of a baby you are and your human ego deflates to the size it should actually be which is next to nothing in the face of the greatness of knowledge. When spiritual responsibilities get thrown at you but all you can do is cry for superman because nothing is working your not good at magic or even understand the law and rules behind it. And you realize how much of a liability you are in a place you shouldn't be. Basically a stagnant God incapable of doing anything that is required of such a title crying from the trouble your in without even knowing how you put yourself in this position you just know you were arrogant with your spiritual steps instead of following the steps Jesus laid out for us. You keep getting pleted with spiritual responsibility but fail to understand what is needed of you due to being a insignificant human. The fear from being at risk due to your arrogance will make you run back to safety which is whatever God that offers it. To me that is Jesus. I realize how greatful I'd be for a shepard. Because I don't even know if I would have any form, utility, or inkling of understanding of what to do now on my own. Being dropped into the void without nothing but human fear is not a good mix for a god. I am confident in nothing and know nothing if I'm in pain for how many years will I be in pain from my own ignorance. When magical thinking doesn't work. I have no authority no power just a mess in the Void for not following the guidance of the greater to be sheparded like I'm suppose to be. I understand we will always be children in God eyes. There is so much fear on your own and you feel like a helpless child. A human should not be on there own in that type of place especially since we have not concurred fear. I'm happy I had that experience now I know it's in my best interest to submit. I don't want those type of responsibilities I have no knowledge which to overcome the fear of such a position. And, I can't protect myself. I'm ashamed I had to experience something like that to run to Jesus. But, I've laid my burdens down since then and I know I had to go through it because of my arrogance. I'm so happy to be broken in a way that draws me back to God. Please don't get arrogant spiritually or you will get schizophrenia. I think I have it because I'm a narcissist so I had to be tore apart because I wasn't growing so constant breaking to get me to see the value of Jesus was the way. I'm thankful for the strength I recently obtained to make it through the trails. I understand now that the voices is the acusser and not a friend but I did learn alot from the accusations that was true and didn't fall because of them and learned to ignore the acusscations that was false all thanks to my God who makes me seek light. But, now I don't fight alone anymore so life is gravy. And, my pills work I'm not curious from learning from the accuser cause all he wants to do is break me but that breaking has made me stronger cause I seek God harder. @yaasshat That's correct we make mistakes and we back slide and there is redemption. I just hated the fact that I made schizophrenia seem less dangerous than it actually is. So, I wanted to stop talking for a while because I wasn't confident in what I was saying. I know now it's the acusser they not friendly. I thought they was helping me because I was learning about the dark side of my mind. But, there objective is to break you with the information not to help you. Because I was learning I thought it was no big deal and played off how much they was hurting me. I learnt alot about myself only because there attempts to break me failed or I was just so happy to be learning I let all those desperate nights evade my mind. It's nothing to play with you can learn but at the cost of being constantly open to degradation which breaks your spirit on occasion. I just kept getting weaker over time to there attacks and I was breaking instead of learning. Crumbling under the weight of my sins. I already heard most of what they have to say so the amount of time I subjected myself to them was idiotic. It's a doubled edged sword. They gave me most of the meat of the problems anyway. Now I just shut them up with meds. Because I'm relying on a different source now. One that allivates my burden instead of crushing me with them. I don't need them no more crushing me to learn. I learnt all they knew about me now I know not to play with fire. Because I got tired of getting burned for that one more advantage in my walk that I can't think of myself. Now I trust Jesus to lead the way I'm not hurting for knowledge anymore that I would rely on the enemy. I have enough to walk with Jesus there idiots for trying to break me with where it hurts.

@willworkforisekai I greatly appreciate your opportunity to share what Christ is providing for you during your current health struggles. You are doing correct by focusing on important fundamental truths about using your time on Earth to create positive and healthy reforcements for not just yourself, but those that interact with you. Please continue to walk the path that brings mercy to the merciless especially when that merciless person turns out to be ourselves. Recently having been a stumbling block for another it is important that we as Christians take accountability of what we say to everyone especially those who are struggling in their faith as well as with the challenges this world. I appreciate your dedication to self reflection as it can help even someone like myself remember Christ is trying to lead us to be better spiritually in such a way that a small amount of the world's darkness dissipates within the proximity of us. Christ rebuke us followers when we stray from our walk with him and hurt another. May the Heavenly Father help to guard our hearts from our own fallen nature and let us mature so that we may aid not just our own self, but the people we interact on a daily basis whether directly or indirectly. Be well and may the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit bring you security when you are most in need. Pray for me to do the same as I fall short of Christ's truth too. Pray that those I've caused to stumble find there way to everlasting life inspite of my own iniquity. Let us as Christians not become discouraged about improving our behavior towards others even when we've tripped over our own feet trying to carry His cross. Amen!