Mommy’s Random Thoughts

(9:59 AM Fri. Feb 3rd) It’s too early for me to be up lol. But, I never speak on this but I feel like I wanna burst with sadness and maybe some anxiousness! I really am beginning to hate party going and when people do it, I have someone in my life who I am very close to that does it enough that they’re used to it... I see them high and really drunk at times... sometimes they’ve gotten so drunk because they feel sad and because they always replace that emotion with anger that’s what they feel easiest when drunk, so, they get mad at the worst of times. Well, I woke up from a dream (nightmare I say) where this person’s friends started to say they look sick... their face was starting to get paler and paler and look more sunken in/sickly each time they partied. They would get mad every time someone mentioned how sick they look and it got to the point in the dream where I stepped in and begged them to stop the “partying”, to stop the “fun”, to stop the drinking and the smoking, but they just mentioned they are fine and went to another party. At the end of the dream their friends drove them home because of how drunk they were and I hear a knock on the door and open it to see an extremely pale/green, sickly and sunken in face with the person waving around a gun and shouting about how they aren’t sick. I am beginning to cry right now because I genuinely do hate alcohol, smoking and drugs/what they can do. I don’t know if the close person shot themselves in the dream because my mind decided it didn’t wanna see it anymore. I really hope they change for the better, especially since I try and tell them to hang out with the right people but they never want to listen and I can only hope they do sooner rather than later.

(10:16 PM Fri. Feb 3rd) It is 20 degrees outside but feels like 5 degrees (I say it IS only 5 degrees). And our eldest brothers room me and my twin are staying in, their windows are worse than the one in our room downstairs! Nothing in this house is properly insulated so it gets cold so badly in our house, their room doesn’t have a heater in it and the windows have cracks in them. Which means the cold air literally blows into our room... the blue curtains our brothers hung up to keep the sun from shining in move when the wind blows in, because it LITERALLY blows into the room. I am sleeping with my twin’s blue comfy, four blankets and a winter hat just to stay warm during the day/night. I am grateful I have somewhere to live still, but I hope we move soon! I don’t wanna be cold anymore! >w< https://media.tenor.com/3--y7uX-xoMAAAAC/pusheen.gif

(12:29 AM Sun. Feb 5th) Wow! My iPad finally decided to update after a whole year! I knew if I kept on believing in it that it would happen some day *wipes tears*, and people laugh at those anime characters that run off the power of hope, love and friendship. I continued hoping and look what happened! XD https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NieC8KA0EvI

(9:20 PM Sun. Feb 5th) I am stuck replaying my baby brother’s Mario Maker worlds he created XD. I at least made it to world 6 this time... and not stuck at 4. He got me to world 3 and let me replay the rest, I die a lot but Mario is a fun game and now I’m waiting for him to finish eating his dinner because he wanted to watch me play UsU

Praying to Lucifer is so kawaii UwU https://media.tenor.com/q0HOGqb3-CsAAAAC/bubbles-satanic.gif

(3:14 AM Tue. Feb 7th) I’m scrolling on Instagram and saw a post with an artist asking people to help them by giving out 4 different ships for them to draw. I know they mean relationships... but I couldn’t help but actually put ship names lol, I put: Titanic, Santa María, Mayflower and USS Maine

Sounds like I need to make more wishes for people because it's ♪ awesooooommmme. ♪

*Ahem* A suggestion. I need money. That is all.