Self reflection after bad relationships

Tbh. Im still recovering from an abusive relationship. I still think about the person everyday and it sucks because i just want to forget about them. But i know thats not how it works. I just started to look how i acted in the relationship. How i can be better for the next one if i have a next relationship.

glad to see you were able to get out of that kind of situation and that your healing well its a cliche line but time does heal all wounds, and though it may make you insecure in your next relationship, if that person really is right for you and loves you they will accommodate

Tbh. I was never insecure about my ex. It was getting abusive emotional and verbally. Silent treatments, devaluing me, hurting me and never apologizing, talking to other guys behind my back. Mostly just using my own anxiety and depression against me and kept me a secret because she didnt want anyone knowing we were dating. Thats when i started to get very insecure then i got blamed because of it. Just left a huge scarr on my heart. Its been quire some time since the break up but the wound still feels fresh. But i am getting better and i met good friends along the way. Im grateful for them ^_^

Sounds like a horrible relationship that you're probably a lot better off without. If nothing else you should at least know what to watch out for in the future and how to handle people like that when they come along. There's a lot of crappy toxic people out there, many of which will pretend to be something they're not at first. With any luck the next one should work out a lot better. I was in one for a couple years that recently fell apart. we tried to "make it work", but that obviously didn't work out too well. I ignored a lot of my own advice going into the relationship because I was getting tired of holding out for something that might very well never happen and took her up on their offer even though we didn't really have much in common. It was nice for a while. I wanted to be the best boyfriend I could, and she felt like she "hit the jackpot". I tried to be supportive and giving and all that jazz, but as things went on our differences became more apparent, it felt like we might never meet in person, and that kinda drove a wedge in the relationship. I tried breaking up but she convinced me to stick it out, but she ended up breaking up with me a year later. As much as she liked me, she could tell it wasn't mutual. She's wasn't a bad person by any means, we just didn't click. I wanted someone I could chat more with and share hobbies/interests, but most of the time I'd just be supporting her with whatever problems she was having at the time. In the end I feel guilty about the relationship. I had hopped that if nothing else I could have made some small positive impact on their life which seemed pretty shitty, but in the end it seemed as if I might have done more harm than good. I can't stress how much I dislike the idea of having hurt someone. For instance, I'd often take note of things she needed or wanted, and would send her everything from pc parts to fix her busted laptop to art supplies, she said she wasn't good with receiving gifts but I didn't take that too seriously. Apparently it made her feel guilty and stressed that I was doing so much for her and she couldn't do anything for me. I guess I just forgot that sometimes trying to help can make a problem worse. She said I was a good listener but clearly not good enough, so while I doubt I'll ever be in another relationship I guess the take away from this one would be to not be impatient while waiting for the right person to come along, to not assume anything, and just pay more attention to things that aren't so obvious.