recently single need advice

So I just became single yesterday I cried and cried and had many talks with my friends for advice ,I been dating this guy for a 1y and 4 months he was living with us for about 6months I think, he then moved out with his brother and did a whole 180 on me ,I noticed he seem distant when we hungout yesterday and the day before he asked me out of the blue ' if we broke up could we be friends still?' I was a bit shocked thinking we was fine and I said '' maybe prob? but why ask that '' . We then proceeded to talk and he brought up that he was stressing about money and bills and how he didn't like been broke, and living check by check.He told me he couldn't take me out to dinners or out of town I told him I didn't need all that and with just hanging out watching anime and playing games I was fine. But I guess that still bothered him so as he dropped me off I told him you didn't even kiss me when we saw each other and now as we part no kiss? He was just like '' i feel sick i have a headache ,I was like well ' i love you and hope you love me too' As I went into the house and in my room I was thinking about everything that Happen ,was I been selfish? was I pretending not to see something that was there for awhile. Maybe it could change ? or maybe it was to late. I ended up calling my mom and telling her everything that happened at first she was like ''he's thinking n stressing to much about a future thats far away he needs to worry about the current situation. Then I told her '' i dont believe i could stay friends with him I love him to much it would hurt'' my mother then said ''well people come and go in your life ,sometimes there meant to be there for awhile and sometimes they leave, maybe you should be friends give him a break to think and see what he needs to do you guys are still young ...Maybe he come back and wanna date when he settled or maybe he will leave out of your life, that just means he wasn't the one for you and there better out there .. I just said '' ok and hung up with her and ended up calling my bf told him '' i dont wanna be selfish I dont want u stressing if you wanna break up just tell me...he was like ' i wanna be friends..i wanna be friends'' i told him that doesn't answer my question ! dont tip toe around my feelings ,im like tell me straight up you wanna break up or else it wont get through my brain.....he said '' i wanna break up'' ,and of course i started crying over the phone and he said 'gonna hang up now'' ...so yeh i pretty much cried all night talk to friends told them what happened,couldnt eat I felt so sick to my stomach and still do. im back here for advice what should I do? be friends or just stay distant friends IDK this the longest relationship I ever had and him living with me makes it hard to see him online and not able to talk to him

PS I never had to live on my own or have money issues, and so I dont know about his stress in life.Im lucky to be blessed with a good family to let me live with them ,I never had the whole ' go be a adult experience' my family pretty much sheltered me and since I live under there house I obey the rules ...so yeh

Ive never stayed friends with ex's thats like rule 1 in my book. There will always be lingering feelings and it'll hurt you more. Its not easy but you'd be better off.. I had to cut ties with a 4 year relationship where i thought nothing was wrong since we never argued or anything. Going from your highest moments to rock bottom sucks.

Just listen to your mom's advice " well people come and go in your life ,sometimes there meant to be there for awhile and sometimes they leave, maybe you should be friends give him a break to think and see what he needs to do you guys are still young ...Maybe he come back and wanna date when he settled or maybe he will leave out of your life, that just means he wasn't the one for you and there better out there .." and if you can't just be friends, so be it. His reasoning doesn't have to completely make sense to you, but if he is not in love for whatever reason, atleast he's not going to just string you along. I wouldn't stay friends in the hopes that the both of you will get back together, that'll just lead to more heart ache. If you two can JUST remain friends and not be hurt by seeing each other possibly see other people, go for it.

for real it like we were great and he moved out BAM,break up I was like...well what the heck, yeh many people tell me dont stay friends it worse on you. I even told him.. if we are friends it gonna end up going back quick especially if I see he replaced me and that it was all a lie and wasn't about money. stinks more when my family likes him and doesn't know what going on as they dont ask me about my life

thanks im gonna try be friends , but knowing myself im not really gonna bother to message him or whatever if he wants a chit chat ,so it prob be like not even friends but ' acquaintance

@Eevee It could have been a multitude of things. I am going to assume the money part is true. His reasoning might be because he felt like a failure. I've had that feeling before. If I don't get enough hours in at work and I can't provide, the feeling of being a failure comes about. There is a chance that this feeling has been building up inside of him for a while.

yeh he is the type to never wanna say anything, but I think him moving out and seen all these bills it just got him super stressed, he also had to get a used car recently cuz his old one died on him and well car important for his work. so now he has that to pay off too

I agree with Vargas, you shouldn’t try to be friends with him if you have even a shred of romantic feelings for him. It wouldn’t be good for either of you. He’s at the point in his life where he feels like he needs to focus on himself. That’s okay, it happens all the time. Sometimes people don’t meet at the right point in their lives and it doesn’t work out. It will be very hard starting out to get out of being used to him being in your life alll the time but every week that passes it will be a little bit easier.