Quick Intro: Why am I so mesmorized by anything anime?

I'm an 18yo male looking for a cute girl around that age so we can chill and talk and yadadada THIS IS WHAT'S ON MY MIND AND IS BOTHERING ME SO HEAR ME OUT Literally, once I start watching anime my whole world goes to shit. Everything seems dull. Anime creates a picture perfect world and makes reality seem like a living hell. Honestly, anime is toxic, for me at least. Maybe I just have an unhealthy way of absorbing what I am watching. I start to binge watch and next thing you know I'm 7 hours behind my sleep schedule, fantasizing about a better world than this one. I'm nowhere near suicidal or anything, but I honestly wonder, whenever I die, if afterwards I'll be allowed to live in such a fantasized fairy tale world. I am SUCH a nostalgic person, and I don't really want to grow up. I still feel so young, so full of life, so full of creativity and all of a sudden I'm being forced into a bunch of responsibilities. I know it's just a natural path of life, but surely there has to be some escape from it, right? Surely I can get some butterfly-in-my-stomach feelings of happiness like I get from watching anime, right? So yeah those are my recent thoughts, let me know what you think of it.

welcome to the world of all animation through animation anything can be created, the limit is simply ones imagination and thats amazing personally i think its not limited to anime but also western cartoons http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/39500000/Sakurako-GIF-beautiful-bones-sakurakos-investigation-39513796-540-304.gif https://media.giphy.com/media/10mzE5gugW8dZC/giphy.gif also welcome

hey, this is somewhat similar to my situation - a little hungover so apologies if this is a bit messy and not at all useful.. Anyway, all I wanted in the past was to find people irl to watch and talk anime with, and then do that forever - that was literally my number one goal and I couldn't care less about anything else. Really I think that is why I joined this site, to find anime locals (lawd I'm weird). When I wasn't watching anime I was wishing for something, anything to happen to spark my happiness until the next binge sesh - a lot of this involved finding others to enjoy this newfound obsession with. I now feel like I went from a popular kid to an anxious teenager, whereby anime and games became my saviour (or so I thought). I now see that there is a lot more to life than just anime, and I see it more as a way to enjoy my downtime when I need a break (though this is still a lot of the time). I think the difference now is that I've traveled a tiny bit more and have had a few of those butterfly moments you speak of. Moments such as a holiday with friends, over the top parties, minorly scary thrills while with said friends, sporting success, feeling accepted amongst others, etc. A few of these are just minor experiences to most but to me they were a rarity before I grew to be a little more outgoing. I now realize that there are paths open to me beyond my sheltered existence. I'm still lonely and life is still a little rough around the edges - I still lack social interaction for the most part and have no clear idea of what I want to do with my life. But I have a routine, and I'm constantly trying to be outgoing. Anime is nice to fall back on but at times I've truly lived life, and as I grow I want to do more of this. Less bingewatching on my own until inevitable feelings of boredom and more living it up, and of course maturing ever slowly.. I'm not sure what advice I'd give you other than trying to have goals and some sort of routine that involves trying new things and escaping your comfort zone. By no means is it easy to find meaning and happiness outside of anime. Hell, I still doubt myself and get anxious about my life all the time, but it's a good start to take a more active approach to your future. I once again apologize if this is pure blabbering but feel free to message me if you want to chat. Welcome btw, nice name ;)