Serious talk about a long term realtionship

As I know what you're going through in this situation because if he can't respect the fact you want kids and wanna get married... find a man that will.

What the actual hell. You need to leave and get out of this unhappy relationship. You've already wasted 3-4 years of your life with this guy who clearly has different relationship values and goals than you do. Don't give him an extra year. He has absolutely no incentive or motivation to want to change. I get the sense you also know you're wasting your time, too. You recognize these red flags and priority problems in the relationship. Girl, you're gorgeous and kind, there are tons of other men (or women) who would be happy to be with you and have the actual maturity to have a family with you. There are billions of people out in this world. You're 27, why are you doing this to yourself. Seriously, tell him bye. Best of luck~

I agree with Cerealia. I dated the same girl for 8 years. She didn't believe in marriage, no matter how hard I tried to convince her. There was a LOT of waiting and procrastination to see how things went. Needless to say things didn't work out. Marriage isn't some old fashioned archaic belief. Can you love someone and be happy without marriage. Yes. People have done it. But when the shit hits the fan, and lesser relationships fall apart... marriage keeps you together until you can make it through. Not always, but it does for a lot. It's a commitment to each other. One that's not frivolous and easily broken. This guy isn't willing to make that commitment. And the kid thing... That's huge... Don't throw away the chance to have a family on a guy that selfish. And that's exactly how he sounds. Selfish. Only doing what's best for himself. Not for you. It's really scary ending a relationship knowing you gotta put yourself back out there. But this is your life. You only get one of them. Make the most of it. .... My great aunt is over 80 years old. She got into a relationship with the wrong guy. A selfish guy that only did things the way he wanted. And she stuck it out. Because in her time, that's just what you did. Now she's got one foot in the grave, and she literally said "I don't want to die yet. I haven't even gotten a chance to really live." Her husband never took her anywhere. They never took vacations. 80 years old, and she's never even been to a different state. She didn't get to have any kids. Hell, until last week, she'd never even been to the zoo. ... Don't let your entire life pass you by because you ignored the red flags. Sit him down... Tell him you are getting married... that you are having kids... that he can get on board, or he can find the door. If he loves you, he will budge. If he doesn't budge, then he's not the one for you. People say to love yourself first. To do right by yourself first. And there is wisdom in that to a degree. But when you really truly love someone, you will put them first (not always, but enough). It's gotta go both ways. Don't stay with a guy where you always come second. That's not healthy. You won't be happy.

Here's the thing. If your faith in God is the reason you're holding back your decision. Then consult the bible, and consult a preacher. But also think about this. You said that God has a purpose for us all. What if one of our purposes God had for us was to help you with this problem you're having now? It's been a long time since I've read the Bible, so maybe I'm rusty. But I don't recall ever reading a passage that says we're supposed to leave every decision to God. I do believe we were given free will because he wanted us to make choices for ourselves. And I do believe it says that God helps those who first try to help themselves. And maybe I've got the wrong religion here. But wouldn't God want you to be married? I don't know what kind of form you want your reply from God to be... But I suggest listening to your heart, because if he's going to speak to you, it's going to be there... And I think in your heart you're already getting the answer. I just think that answer scares you, so you're asking for a different answer. I sincerely apologize if I'm wrong.