IRL Stories

Everyone likes a happy drunk, I'm a prime example of that. Ask for money while I'm drunk? Sure thing, we're all friends. Wake up the next day and see that not only did my friends disappear, but so did my bank account. ;_; I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!!!! SPEEEEEECCCCCIAAALLLL!!!!!!

shit, is it when lars and ronaldo were kids with the light house?

There was this summer my mom literally forgot to save up for my flight back to CA so I stayed in NY for 3 months lol, anyways I got a job at this bodega and some client with a thick dominican accent came in he brought up what he needed and wanted some backwoods but the type he wanted were out(I purchased the last one for my friend) so I was like sorry chico! He was like there's one on the counter and I said yeah I bought it... he was angry and he was like "I'll beat your ass" but I kinda heard eat so I was like eat my ass?! And I said it a little too loud my manager was like Stop harassing my employees and it was so funny to me but I felt bad the next day because part of me knew I heard beat...

I have a friend that I've known since middle school, guy is literally my brother from another mother. So this one time I went with him to visit his grandma in the hospital, she calls me her Cuban lol. Anyways, when I was visiting I was wearing a funny t shirt that said "tired?deppresed?angry?" And under it there was a pill that was labeled "FUKITOL 50ml grams". And when the whole family is in the middle of a conversation she stops everything and asks me "que significa eso, fukitol? Trabaja bien?" (What does that mean, fukitol? Does it work good?) Me and my friend double over laughing and after a good five minutes I had to explain it to her

So when I first got into actually playing the Pokemon TCG, a friend of mine hooked me up with some spare newer cards, one of which being a supporter that helped you get energies. I honestly can't remember what the supporter was called, but it had a girl on it and we all called her the "Dumb Bitch" because no one ever drew into her when we needed it. My friend's sister was having a housewarming party and we decided to have some matches while we were there. I drew into the "Dumb Bitch" when guess what? I didn't need her anymore! Right as that happened I said "Hey look, it's the dumb bitch!" and apparently right as I said that some lady at the party was walking by and gave me a weird look. I didn't even notice because I was so focused on the game, but they all told me. So basically, some lady now thinks I called her a dumb bitch out of nowhere lol.

a story about why i have so many trust issues, and issues with men in general >be me >18 years old, heartbroken, all the men in my life previously have only aimed to hurt and use me >go on a dating site kind of like this >meet sweet guy, but with no pictures of himself >he tells me everything i need to hear >i feel my heart start to mend, but it hurts at the same time >he tells me he has all the time in the world to allow me to heal >month or two of talking i confess me love for him >he confesses the same, though i already knew this >cant believe i could find someone like him >kind, supportive, understanding, intelligent, polite, and funny >havent seen his face, but at this point im so in love idc >i be the first one to suggest we meet >he happily agrees, says its been on his mind for awhile but didnt want to pressure me as he knows about my hard past with men >so sweet and thoughtful >2good2betrue >tells me he cant meet me, i have to come to him >think, hes so amazing and has helped me so much, i owe him this much >convince mother, whos known about my hard time with men >shes in >tells him, and hes ecstatic >we set a date >date comes >in the car, hearts racing, minds racing, and yet everything is going in slow motion >we pull into the meet space >mom drops me off and i sit and wait >an hour goes by >2 >3 >call mother in tears, she picks me up >when i get home i immediately turn on the computer and type to him >"what happened please tell me you have an excuse" >hes online but it tyakes him 10 minutes to reply >"im so sorry, for all of this" >heart drops >"i have to confess something" >hearts in stomach >"im not what you think i am" >"i dont care what you look like! ill love you no matter what!!" >"its more than that...." he turns on webcam >told me he didnt have webcam >im close to vomiting from the expense and stress >heart beating from within stomach >his webcam connects >theres just a fat moth hopping on keys randomly >delete app >dont even cry >just goes to bed at 7pm >never trusts again

Semi inappropriate but its funny for the sheer awkwardness In highschool, hanging out with a girl that I was talking to, we start to do naughty things (I'll let your imagination decide so I dont get in trouble) Mom walks in, I panic, pull pants up in a frenzy Mom reflexively slams door closed... thank god (not sure what she saw) She then knocks on the door again and asks (with a straight face mind you) "Will she be staying for dinner?" Needless to say shes not staying for dinner, not after that debacle Girl eventually goes home Never once talked about it with my mom, literally never been brought up Thank god