Don't be ashamed of your story, it will inspire others.

i have to agree with yasshat. granted i skimmed through it because im lazy right now. but yeah, you seem different than i imagined. even if we don't exactly like eachother.

Loli, Don't like each other? I've never directly talked to you. At least, I don't recall if we have. I'm more of what would be called indifferent, with most on here. If you actually would like to talk, we can and I'd have absolutely no qualms about that. I'm different one on one and probably truer to my offline persona. But, a but of a forewarning, I tend to try to give advice, it's what I do.

oh im sorry i meant to direct that second part to neet >.< im tarded. but thats a given. i've been tarded since i was born.

The reason I have trust issues is because my mom is an verbally abusive alcoholic when i was in highschool my dad i met when i was 21 and saw him on my first fathers day. 6 months later he shut off my phone, ignored my emails, wont answer calls, and deleted me off facebook when the 6 months leading to that he'd text me saying "good morning daughter" My ex stole my virginity. I haven't been the same since then. I don't let people in. Relationships rarely go well. It's been over 5 years since i been "physicahlly" with anyone(past kissing and hugs)...well hope this story doesn't end up bitting me in the butt

Age 3 : Parents divorce Age 5-8 : troubled child, dealing with social anxiety issues related to a yet diagnosed case of Apsergers Age 8-10 Raped numerous times by my step brother, institutionalized at 9 due to a breakdown from said experience and an inability to talk about it appropriately age 11-14 bounce from school to school and group home to group home age 15-18 starting to learn how my own thought process works, and am able to fit in with society better, anxiety wanes, but joined a group of people that did despicable things and did despicable things myself. GF dies consuming a drug I was selling, confusing it for another depression sets in 18-19 lost 130 lbs, left the group that I was part of formerly, began heavy use of various addictive substances 20 Take up boxing, and Muay Thai, this is a game changer, I found something I really excel at and get a sense of confidence I never had before age 21 workaholic years at this point I am sober and in control of my life as best as anyone can be 22-30 mostly uneventful, continue martial arts but to a much lesser degree, discover Taoism/Buddhism and its another huge life changing event 31 Meet my now exwife on match.com, move to Wisconsin to be with her 32 things are great, until I am diagnosed with Diabetes type 1, positive is my son is born :D 33-34 Decline, I largely ignore my medical issues, in a state of denial I repeatedly get hospitalized at 34 I catch my wife in bed with my at the time best friend, I get my rifle and consider if I should turn it on someone, I end up sitting at the farm with said rifle pointed in the general vicinity of my face for a number of hours, and after much breathing remember my own words "This moment is just a moment, like all phenomenon it comes into being and dies" remembering that life can and should go on I laugh at my own stupidity and put the rifle away 35 move to colorado, grow lots of weed and get back into the Martial Arts, studying Brazilian Jiu Jitsu 36 well not much to say turned this age 7 days ago There is much more to it, just a quick rundown But...... I am a happy man :D