Don't be ashamed of your story, it will inspire others.

Im probably the biggest weirdo here being jealous of all these people and their backstories xD Not meaning to be offensive or anything but it sometimes get hard being around lots of people with such problems. Im a depressed piece of shit for..no reason. Ive had a good life, just a lil lonely but probably my own fault. Makes me feel less than everyone else bc I shouldnt be this way and yet I am. Also makes it really hard to find friends...

My story isn't so complicated. Or maybe I'm making light of it. After writing some of it down I'm feeling pretty shit about it. Growing up I moved a lot. I wasn't a military brat, my parents just liked moving. Between 1st and 12th grade I basically had a friend reset 3 separate times. 3 Elementary schools. 2 Middle schools. 2 High Schools. In that time I lived in 6 different houses/apartments. Before you say the math doesn't add up, my counts aren't off, it's just more complex than that. After that I made completely new friends in college, and then at my job, and then I moved again to go with my parents closer to the rest of my family to another state. Honestly I'm so god damn sick and tired of moving. Every time I make friends it all disappears. The next time I move, I want it to be because I'm moving to/with someone who really matters to me, instead of leaving them behind. My school life other than that is fairly straight forward. I wasn't bullied, and I didn't really have any trouble getting along with others, although most people didn't exactly find me approachable. I always absolutely hated the idea of homework, and so I never did it. I always separated work/school from my regular life, and that really came to bite me in college. I didn't think it would be so bad. It wasn't as if I was cutting it close in school before then, I consider myself naturally astute, and just by paying attention in class I constantly got perfect scores on my tests. In a way it bothered me, as I could finish a test before the entire rest of my class, get a perfect score on it, and the hardest working students in my class would finish after me and still not have a perfect score. Part of me felt like I was cheating somehow. I never did homework. I never studied. I never took notes. I could tell some of them were so frustrated that I could do it so easily. If only that could have carried me through college maybe I'd feel more proud of it today. The longest length of time I went to school in the same district was from 5th grade to 10th grade. A new middle school was built during that time, and many friends got separated, but it was at that time in 8th grade that I made any long term friends. It was in 8th grade that I met a girl that I fell hard for. I probably was going to be an anime geek, but she really pulled me into it severely, and sped up the process. It was a one sided love for the majority of the time, until whenever I gave up on her she would give me a sliver of hope. I don't know if it was intentional or not, but it really messed with my head. Despite that we considered each other best friends. Even after I moved away, we stayed in touch. After I got my first job and could afford to visit her on my own, well, I can only think of it as her toying with me. To shorten it as much as possible, it was basically an NTR situation, and it left me the most hurt that I've ever been in my life. She spurred it on during the last two years, and maybe she was simply crazy, but I absolutely blame her, and can't find it in myself to ever forgive her. It's been 5 or 6 years since then, and I've exchanged words with her a few times since then, but nothing that I would call a conversation. I couldn't believe that we were best friends for 10 years, and regardless of what we were at the time, that she could find the worst way to hurt me. I feel that my whole life, especially in regards to love, has formed me into someone who values trust and loyalty to maybe an extreme extent. I've always put distance between myself and anyone else who I felt like would probably let me down, or seemed too selfish to ever have my own interests at heart. I feel a little hypocritical about it at times, but I'm unsure if I really should be feeling that or not. Most of the happy memories I've ever made have been tainted by the people I made them with. The rest of my happy memories are with people I didn't get to know for very long. The greatest I feel is when I'm in isolation, where I can rely on only myself. My only dream in life is to find someone I can be with for 50 years, and then look back on that 50 years and be absolutely grateful that I met them. I crave the life long relationships I see people make because I've never had such a long relationship with anyone other than my family, which for better or worse isn't optional.

Welp now that I went and read some people's life stories I feel obligated to share mine. So uh, here goes nothing: I grew up in a really big and lively family, I was the youngest of four brothers and most of my early childhood was full of happy memories (except for the time when I almost burnt down the house playing with a lighter and got the most extreme spanking ever, but that's another story. >_>). Everything was basically smooth sailing until I started putting on weight in elementary school. I started getting picked on a bit but it wasn't really bad enough to really affect my performance in school or anything. It started to get really bad when I got into middle school because the bullying started to get much more physical, I started to get into a lot of fights but would always get the more severe punishment because I "could do more harm" because of my weight I guess. Despite me constantly fighting back things only got worse, I remember one time in the 6th grade some girl that was in my social studies class would mess with me a lot and I'd just tell her to fuck off. She had her brother and his friends who were in the 8th grade at the time jump me after school one day on the pretense that I hit her or some nonsense, that was basically the point when school became an absolutely miserable thing for me and my grades dropped horribly. I actually had to repeat the 6th grade because of that. I was only really comfortable at home, I had good friends that I grew up with who lived in the same neighborhood so I still at least had SOME fun memories. In 7th grade one of my older brothers was killed during an ambush/robbery as he got out of his car to pick up his daughter from a friend who was babysitting her. A few weeks after the funeral my mom had noticed suspicious, unfamiliar cars driving around the neighborhood and got really spooked so she decided to sell the house and move out. We ended up moving around to various places in town but ultimately ended up just deciding to pack up and go to New York since my dad's side of the family lives up there, my other two brothers stayed in Virginia though. We lived with my grandmother in her brownstone for a bit but it was too cramped since we had to stay in my grandmother's house since my dad's brothers lived in the brownstone too and there weren't any empty units. So my dad's oldest brother who had a house in Long Island had offered we stay with him and his wife until we find a place and we decided to take them up on the offer. I wasn't a huge fan of the idea since I didn't really like my cousin at all, he was always a huge asshole when he'd come to visit us in Virginia as a kid and he still was an asshole at that point too. We got settled in at their place and my parents got me into the local school, I practically had to be forced to go on the first day though. Surprisingly I wasn't picked on at all at that school, people were actually legitimately interested in me and tried to invite me into their social circles and stuff. At that point though I had issues accepting their kindness as something genuine and just brushed them off pretty much. There was this exceptionally stubborn girl who tried really hard to get me to open up to her though, I actually remember her coming to the house to drag me out to come see the homecoming game. I don't quite remember how she found out where I lived, but I didn't think about it much because she was actually really cute and I was too confused by the whole situation. :u Months later I had got into this big fight with my cousin that escalated pretty violently, I ended up pulling out a knife from the kitchen and attacking him but another family member was there to hold me back before I could get to him at least. They ended up calling the police on me and I ended up in some juvenile mental health ward for a few months. While I was there I met quite a few interesting characters, nobody was actually insane but they definitely came from pretty shitty backgrounds. It took me a while to get used to things but I ended up becoming quite close with all of the other kids there, learning about each other's shitty experiences gave us a sense of camaraderie and we stuck together. I was actually kinda sad when it was time for me to go. After I was brought back home my parents were starting to consider just moving back to Virginia because my aunt and uncle who we were staying with were being assholes, they were demanding that my parents pay for more than they agreed on when we first moved in with them. At first they just agreed on having them help with bills, groceries, etc but now they wanted them to pay over 500$ a month also since they were blowing all of their money gambling and could even pay rent on the house anymore. So we started packing up to move back to Virginia, the stubborn girl I mentioned before apparently didn't forget about me because she came to visit when she found out I was moving away. I actually really regret being so suspicious of her since she seemed pretty sad that I was leaving. We moved back to Virginia but things didn't get much better as the years went by, I became a pretty hardcore truant because I simply didn't want to deal with school and the anxiety of having to fight people to get them to leave me alone anymore and I had also developed really bad trust issues and anxiety. I couldn't even go to public places without feeling like people were looking at me and or talking about me behind my back, I ultimately ended up getting homeschooled after my freshman year in highschool because things were just that bad. I also went through like 3 home counselors until I actually started showing signs of improvement. I don't think it was until I was 19 that I could actually have a real conversation with strangers without being super standoffish and not even bothering to look them in the eyes. But basically I spent the years after I got my GED at 16 or so being a NEET, I tried college but it wasn't my thing and I've had barely any luck finding work since I had no work experience at all. Best I could do was doing off and on part time jobs like working on moving teams for U-Haul and whatnot, but not a real reliable job so I'm technically still a NEET. Annnd that's about everything, I also had a bunch of shitty relationships where I was consistently cheated on over the years but I'll spare you guys of that. Overall though I really treasure my experiences since I believe that they have made me much stronger as a person, the only thing I really regret is how I treated other people and all of the trouble and stress I put my parents through. They may have never really understood me but they stood by me all of these years trying to help me anyway even though they could have just thrown me out on my ass and told me to figure something out at any point. I'm truly grateful for that and I think if anything I care more about just becoming a better man these days. One that can give my parents at least some peace of mind since they'll know that all of their sons are doing alright, eventually doing well enough to buy them a nice place so they can live in comfort. That's what I earnestly wish for, I'm not really interested in financial gains or finding a significant other. Whatever happens, happens. But I at least want to be able to live with my head held up high, knowing that my family is happy.

I read everyone's comments and stories. I have to say I'm very impressed by those that decided to share and I want to remind everyone that this isn't a competition to see who had it better or worse then others. No two stories are the same and each one of us have our own paths in life with its own challenges and hardships whether they are big or small. And seeing everyone that shared really goes to show no matter who you are, where you are from, or what has happened in your life (big or small) we have the power and ability to overcome things or at least survive and fight another day. And I'll just throw this out there, if anyone needs someone to talk to hit me up. I'm very laid back and understanding.

Before I get to my own story I would like to thank all the people who put themselves out there and opened themselves up on a public forum. It's not easy to open up especially in a forum full of strangers. Reading everyone's struggles really made me look back on my own life and be thankful for some of the small things that I take for granted. I was born 3 months premature and she had preeclampsia and other complications during the pregnancy which effectively made us a ticking time bomb where we could both die at any moment. My dad in turn wanted her to get an abortion which she refused. It might be in part because of this that he never really cared for me. Even after I was born I spent 4 months in the hospital and my mom visited me every day while my dad still thought I wasn't going to live long and die. Throughout my life my parents were always fighting. When I was little I saw my mom being beaten a lot and I was always being ridiculed or threatened. They separated a couple times and she would go back to her home country of Brazil but in a year or so he would convince her to go back to the States. When my younger brother was born things didn't help either. He was still physically abusive to her and verbally abusive to us. When I was 7 he kicked us out of the house and we had to move again. After we came back in 2000 my mom finally stood up and told him that if he touched her she would call the police. That at least stopped him from hitting her. Now while growing up I was never really had many friends. Most of my friends from my childhood were children of my moms friends. I was always a bit chubby so I got picked on as a kid in elementary school for a while but thankfully it wasn't habitual and the teachers eventually sorted it out. My entire "family" moved to Las Vegas at the end of 7th grade and it was hard because I would lose the few friends I had. 8th grade was me just trying to adjust to the new environment and such. In my first two years of highschool I was isolated mostly by choice because I was stupidly shy. It was only on junior year that I actually started talking to people and making friends. Near the end of my senior year I even had a girl tell me that she was surprised at how chill I was because she and other people thought I was stuck up because I was always the quiet smart guy in class. Academically other than a rough period of 3rd-5th grade where I got shitty scores because my attention span was crap I was always had good grades. Romantically I've had some crushes here and there but it was in my junior year that I fell hard for a girl. My friends kept telling me to try and ask her out to a dance and stuff but I was just too embarrassed. Honestly it got to the point where I kept trying to go up to her to talk and then chicken out so much that her cousin came up to me and told me to stop stalking her. That was a total shock to me and it was the last thing I wanted anyone to think I was doing so I just decided to give up on her because I did not want to get beat up and go to jail (I have a weird mind). Now that I think about it I don't think I ever talked to her again after that. XD During summer vacation my mom could already see that shit was hitting the fan again and since it was the start of the Recession jobs were scarce. To scope opportunities abroad and to get away from my dad we went to Brazil since we haven't been there since the last time we moved. When I was there I met a super beautiful girl. Before I explain what happened I will just say this. I have no clue WTF happened to me but I was just way more confident and comfortable with myself then ever. We hit off really well and I honestly felt I had a chance this time. We chat and hung out almost every day. I asked her out and she rejected me without telling me why. I never gave up thinking she was shy or something but after a while she told me that the reason she couldn't go out with me was because I was going to return to the U.S. at the end of summer. I couldn't really argue with that reason so we decided to be friends. That one broke my heart the most because I knew she cared about me. My last year of highschool was really fun. It was one of the few times I actually felt like I could free myself a little bit to just be a teenager and not have to worry too much about the toxic relationship with my dad or the last crumbling remains of my "family".After I graduated in 2010 my dad decided to move and that we would have to deal with things on our own so we returned to Brazil. Again. This time I stayed until 2013. I did one year of college there and worked a year with my cousin doing translation. Nothing really worked out and that was when I started my mass consumption of anime. Since games are stupidly expensive over there and hard to come by gaming took a back seat. Other than a couple months where I took a class for administration; 2/3 of my time in Brazil was me being a massive NEET. I didn't have any desire to do anything and my younger brother was in a bad spot too. It was around 2013 that I started thinking about ways to change things. My mom tried to get back with my dad once while we stayed behind but it didn't work out. My dad asked me if I wanted to come back to the States and live with him. I was hesitant but I knew that I hated living there and things were getting bad economically. That and my mom was in a terrible depression. I hated seeing her like that. She felt like she failed us and wanted us to have a better life. So in part I ran away from her and her depression as well as to find better opportunity. my brother also came with me. When we first got there things were ok. I had a job and started college and my brother went to school. Soon my brother was having trouble and had a hard time going to school. I was helping to pay for all the bills so I never had much money to save up and my dad was getting increasingly more angry. It got to the point where I had to pay for my own food and the food for my brother as well as all the other stuff just to live there. After my brother stopped going to school altogether my dad wanted me to pay for his part as well but at that point I couldn't deal with it or have the money to pay for it. And recently he has also been telling me to find somewhere to live because he is going to leave and to take my brother with me. Now this might be some sort of punishment for leaving my mother but my younger brother is depressed just like her. Currently I am 26 years old and started my 3rd year of college. Right now I just want to get my undergraduate and get a decent job so I can move out. I will focus on a Master's afterwards. I don't know how much longer I can live in this current climate but if I have to get my own place then everything I have been working towards these last 4 years will be for nothing. I can survive ok on my own if I get a second job but my brother would be out on the streets. He says he is going to kill himself if that happens and as much as it hurts me there is nothing I can do. We tried getting him therapy but that didn't work. He refuses to go to get his GED and does not want to learn how to drive. At this point I just take things one day at a time and whatever happens happens. Thankfully my mom is currently dating someone who is much nicer to her. So while she is poor and has bouts of depression it is still better than what she was before. All in all my problems are minuscule compared to the things I have read from other people. My major problem is my lack of trust in people and my reserved tendency. Seeing and experiencing abuse that I get even today just makes me really jaded when it comes to romance. Honestly I'm really scared of being with someone abusive. I've had to deal with it all my life and I don't want to be another one. Especially if she is my first because then it will be a precedent that will paint all future relationships and that just isn't healthy. I know in the end the best thing for me to do is to break away from my old life. Get rid of my "family" and just go on my own. That way I can be free from them and start working on myself. Sorry this such a monster of a essay. Not sure how many people will read something this big but if you do then thank you! Again I would like to thank all the people who posted before me and while it may be ignorant of me to say this but if anyone would like to talk I will listen. People on other sites helped me before and if there is anything I can do then I would be happy to do it.

I like reading people's life stories.Thank you all for sharing me with those stories!Those who dare post their stories in this thread are truly genuine,in my opinion. Compared with yours, my own life story which I wrote not long after I created an account on this website is relatively "boring".In order to know how I got this "shitty" personality(in fact, I'm glad to be a weirdo and loner), I've analyzed my past and introspected myself for an extended period of time.So far, I have ridded myself of most mental issues like anxiety and depression that resulted in my failure in important exams, I also give up most unnecessary expectations/hopes, thus currently in most cases I feel comfortable and at ease, though at times people can get depressing vibes from me XD.My parents still hope I can go back to Yangzhou and live close to them,but I'm aware that I would be mentally unhealthy(my true self would vanish) if I followed their advice~~Getting rid of the original family is way too important~~

Parents divorced when I was around 7. Treated like property for a few years there. Lived in borderline poverty growing up due to divorce costs and having to sell the fully paid for house. Both parents lived in trailer parks for extended periods of time. I was constantly being shipped back and forth between them. My father working 3rds plus overtime was always too exhausted to do much. My mother constantly on Xanax. Around late elementary, early middle school I started having behavior problems. Then had to deal with bullies on top of it. Eventually I fought back and my bully problems ended. Finally my dad decided to cut his losses and moved back in to provide me a father figure and direction. Things went as well as they could have the rest of school. Though at one point I caught my girlfriend at the time cheating and fell into a deep depression. Parents took it as me being lazy and kicked me out. I still completed school, but it was by the skin of my teeth. Finally I went and got an associates degree while working. Then struck out on my own in business and home. I now run a hotel, am no longer bordering on poverty, I run a side business building and fixing computers, I trade stocks, I also mine and trade crypto-currency. It was a very hard road, but I wouldn't change a thing as it made me who I am today.