What I deserve

(( I'm sorry for writing this, if it seems selfish I am so sorry )) I'm really really trying to be happy and keep my mood where people like it But my severe depression, anxiety , and DPDR, as well as dissociation disorder are making it really hard for me to do anything. I have been very suicidal for the past seven years and have tried to kill my self on several occasions. I feel terrible for confessing this. I can't go a day without feeling sick from anxiety or having a panic attack . Yes I am on meds and yes I do see a therapist, but they aren't doing much. I forget to eat, I forget to sleep. I am losing a lot of weight and it's not very good. I just keep on making people's lives harder and making them worse. I'm a problematic waste of existence. Kay thank you for reading this and please stay safe and have a good day!! If you ever feel scared or sad I'm right here and I will help you.

I've gotten to know you over the last few days and I would've never guessed. But what I can tell is your a great person and deserve a good life. The onlyear thing selfish in that message was that you tried to kill yourself. If you did, you'd be taking a great gift away from the world. You can get through your problems. I believe you can. It will all get better. And you don't mare my life worse, if anything you make it better! You're not a problematic waste of space. You're a gift and worth just as much if not more as anyone else. At least that's not what i think. It's what I know.

Usagi, Talk to a friend or family member, now. I only say this because if you're being hoesrt, be honest and understand that it sounds like you need support that may not be available here. I care/sympathize, but I don't know you well enough to comfort you like loved ones. I hope you understand where I'm coming. Still, if you just need to vent, there are plenty here who will try to help and listen. There are no amount of suggestions that can trump those people who know and love you most. It's tough living like you do, I know myself. If you feel you're a burden, be strong for those who care about you and even more for yourself.:)

Angel, you are NOT a proclamatic waste of existence. No one is. You're a good person with a big heart! You deserve happiness. We all go through hardships, some more than others, but it makes us stronger in the end. No one said you had to do this alone. I bet there are lots of people here and in real who want to help you. I will stand by you while you survive. Message me whenever you want~! Don't give up, your story isn't over yet. Much love<3! https://media4.giphy.com/media/1hep2KZ7SUYp2/giphy.gif https://media1.giphy.com/media/n8OhULLKjilDq/giphy.gif https://media1.giphy.com/media/vTtibSrt4dlIc/giphy.gif

Hopefully things will get easier for you when you get older. I used to tell myself when I was younger "I am nothing, nothing makes any sense.."..I still tell myself that on occasion. As far as anxiety goes..I've always had an issue with social anxiety. Failed quite a few job interviews in the past because of it, despite being more than qualified. Despite always being told I was this "Bright and brilliant" dude..I didn't see it. When I hit 21 I started telling myself that I'm the shit, started carrying myself differently, dressing differently, talking differently. You could say I was trying to project a certain image of myself, when really it was simply me revealing who I was the entire time. I just woke up so I know I'm not making any sense lol(Need my coffee). Hopefully you will get to a place when you will learn to get over some of this stuff. We all have our own ways to cope, mine was feeding my own self confidence and developing a idgaf attitude. Remember problems and thoughts are temporary.. I remember what it was like though..feeling a certain kind of way. Hope it all works out in the long run, keep your head up Edit:Yaas hit the nail on the head

I am trying to communicate with My family about this but it is very hard to. And it may be hard for understanding but suicide felt like the only way out of the situation .

Suicide is NEVER the answer. I know things are tough now, but they will get better! You can't get a rainbow without a little rain <3

Usagi, Ya know what? I more than understand. I went thru depression issues for quite a few uesrs. I remember waking up one night when I was almost 18. I had enough of the constant weight, day in and day out... I wrote a note to my family and headed to get my dad's shot gun. But, I had an epiphany as I was heading towards it. "What am I doing?" I thought. "I'm much stronger than this and besides, life must have something worth striving for." For me, that thing worth striving for was and is, happiness. One day I hope to hold a life in my hands and realize the potential for greatness that I have. I want a family and for me, that was a huge reason to keep fighting. Was it easy to get over? Nope. But, has it been worth it? Hell yes! I have at least one friend I can now rely on like a brother and a wonderful fiancee. Thing is, we all need to find that hapy thing, that reason to fight. Your reason may be different, but I'm %100 sure that it's just as valid and worth fighting for.:)