Are you happy?

To all you guys commenting about my farts, I do NOT fart in the dead of night. I always fart in the mornings after my cup of coffee. I've farted so many times around Veru to be honest

Nope. I'm not entirely sad either(or maybe I am?). However, months ago I felt extreme sadness to where it made me became numb. Why I felt sadness was because of my feelings for someone. The situation I was in was pretty complex and I don't feel like writing the full detail. I felt a whole lot of mixed feelings: anger, sadness, depression, envy, hate, etc. Feelings I haven't felt in awhile. I was a complete wreck for literally a week then I became numb and still numb since then. I also became rather blunt without caring if I hurt another's feelings. I now just pretty much play video games and study to pass time. I kind of disconnected myself from social medias of any kind and spend time by myself.

From my experience, everyone has been on a sinking ship. The happy people are the ones who knew how to swim, and worked to make it to a nearby island. The "meh" ones are the ones who might have grabbed a floating piece of debris, and made the best of it as they waited to be carried to shore. The sad people are still waiting to be rescued, or the ones who tried to swim to a nearby island, only to find out they were swimming against the current the entire time, and have gotten completely worn out. And the privileged, self entitled D-bags are the ones who made it to the rafts in time, and have never had to go through the ordeal, therefore, cannot relate to others. I wish I could put it in a way that sounds more sympathetic, but that really is the nature of happiness, in my observations. As for me, I've learned how to swim by now. I still find myself on sinking ships, I still end up swimming the wrong direction often enough, or hoping to get a place on that nice privileged raft at least once, but I still manage to carry myself back to shore each time. Hope that gives you an idea of where I'm at. ;)

I can be, but on the other hand I can have an extremely low mood. Sometimes I can feel extremely upbeat and social but in the same circumstances I could feel very depressed and anti-social, the worst part is the uncontrollable randomness of it. It'd be fine if certain events prompted relative emotional reactions but in my case they don't, I'm both happy and sad, empty yet content, eager or apathetic.

I just finished a maritime security seminar and it made me realize full well how helpless my country and other developing countries are when it comes to maritime security. And to think that we need it the most considering we have the most abundant maritime resources that most greedy, developed countries just nonchalantly exploit! I honestly feel immensely sad and helpless about it.

Content would be a word I'd use more than outright happy. Have my health, an ok job I like, I support myself, no kids or major commitments other than to myself and my two goofy cats. The only real missing pieces are a significant other and to challenge myself a little harder for self improvement. Frankly, I sit around way too much mucking around online when not at work and could be doing more constructive things.

I'm pretty lazy, and not very happy and feel like I'm lost kinda. People have it way worse and I think time heals so everything is good