Random thoughts...

"it's an easy job bro, you just need to create a whole database system from cero and coordinate with the development team who's in US and directly report and answer the questions with every manager. Oh and also if what they ask you can't be done, well you just have to make it done" Fuck xD

Tbh the most fucked up thing my parents probably did was tell me i couldnt use the laptop i got my aunt to buy for me for my birthday while also simultaneously using it themselves

Talking to my gay lover rn and reflecting on my character based on my actions. I knew it for a bit now but I am a shit person in a way. I have lied to avoid people hating me or to protect them, I let my emotions get the better of me in a moment saying dumb shit about someone (after they hurt me) to get validation from the person I am immediately talking to in order to feel better, and I have been a hypocrite multiple times in my life. Yeah I have done many good deeds but was it to satisfy my own moral scale of right and wrong or was it truly a good deed I thoughtlessly did. Here lately I have been doing good deeds to just do them even if I do not feel like it to right wrongs. Even with my ex in the relationship I was hurt and said bad things to close friends about her and when she found out was furious (as rightfully expected). We made up and moved past that point but some of my close friends still do not like her because of my actions of being salty because of a fight or argument we had prior. I cannot make any promises but I will truly be a better person and not judge people until they actually did something irredeemable in not just my eyes but everyone's. I know everyone can be a shit person to a degree in some form but this has weighed heavy on my conscience the past few weeks leading to nightmares and troubling thoughts in my head. If I have hurt anyone I apologize truly for whatever I did to you. I cannot change the past but I can at least see now how my actions made my character on this site and to people I know. I love you all and no more bullshit from me.