Love

@mango Yes I know and seen people like that as well, but take a good look around you. It is not the norm. And doesn't mean you will share the same experience. No matter how much both side wanted for it. Life don't work that way. Personally I think that dreaming about that "till death do us part" is for the lack of better word, naive. As well with 'forever' and 'ever after'. Life would be a lot easier if you don't hope for that, and just enjoy the moment you have right now. Lol I have seen way too much of he/she is my 'forever' and then they change to the next and next and the next.

@mango Do you have pets? Do you love your pet a lot less when you know he or she gonna die way before you do, that the love you had for your pet won't last past a few years? The end does not mean the end. The end makes you care for the moment you have now even more so. It makes the moment you have now more worth it. Feeling wanting to be someone forever and ever is all good, but you are doing yourself a disservice. Better to love him like there is no tomorrow, then dreaming of a thing that will never come to pass (forever) at least when it actually comes to an end, you won't curse the memory you had with him ;3

Oreo, That's a different kind of "love" anyways.

For me, how and when it started and how and when it ended are minor details when it comes to love. For me, it's always about how has this person affected me? How have I affected this person? If I couldn't use the word "growth" to describe either of our experiences whether during or after the relationship, then I highly doubt it's love. Are we hurting each other by being together? Are we less awesome versions of our original selves because of our relationship? If the answer is even remotely yes, then maybe that's not really love. For me, it doesn't even have to be an obvious kind of growth, as in you noticeably changed as a person -- the greatest changes are sometimes too deep-seated and subtle to be felt and noticed on the surface. It's not even about the person sometimes. It's the experience of being together that could bring about the growth. It's wrong to say, however, that you expect another person or love/relationship to complete you or make you happy or save you -- you shouldn't be going into relationships if you don't feel that way about yourself to begin with. @mango_mochi Hey, and about your experience, I find it really weird how some people can say I love you (romantically) easily, too. :) Falling in love is one thing, but I think choosing what you do once you acknowledge those feelings within yourself is what people should spend more time thinking about. I used to think that maybe people confess easily because they absolutely adore the other person and letting them know their feelings is a positive thing because a) who doesn't like being told that they are loved, right? and b) they have freed themselves from the "burden" of their feelings. The confessors see confessing as the climax of their feelings and that it makes them the bravest and most vulnerable people on the planet because, let's face it, even the slightest possibility of rejection sucks. However, I find it weird how very few people think about how it feels for the confessee's side. Based on my experience, if you even hinted at annoyance when someone confesses to you (assuming that you are not interested in the person romantically), your concerns are automatically dismissed. "What's your problem, he just likes you?", "Don't be mean. Be nice, be gentle, blah blah", "It's just a crush, don't think about it too much," and others along the same lines. I think being confessed to is one of the most unnerving feelings in the world. The feeling of gratefulness or flattery doesn't even sink in immediately. What I feel as an immediate reaction is genuine concern. I always ask, "How can this guy just blurt out his feelings with reckless abandon, and I have to tiptoe and be wary of my response to him?", "What is the least hurtful/troublesome way that I can say no without causing future problems for myself or him and his other future relationships?", etc. Being confessed to is like being entrusted with the most fragile thing in the world: someone's feelings. That in itself is already a burden. How can I return this thing without breaking or scratching it? Being confessed to is just as scary as confessing and saying no in the most truthful, tactful way possible is just as brave.

Even though I've never been in a serious relationship I feel that falling in love for me personally involves more than "just being there" for someone. See I was raised in the rural part of the southern United States and the big thing is if the men actually stay for the girls, and what the girls try to do is find guys as "projects" in order to fix. In other words it was a nightmare filled with insecurity, divorces, and bad relationships. For especially myself, when I fall in love I want to become enmeshed with my significant other's world; and know how she wants to grow, live and do what's right. Basically love for me is a becoming part of a pair of unified purposes, emotional nourishment, and building a life based off of happiness, kindness, and understanding. No more pretenses, no more holding on to "empty nights", no more "being there for a short time, but having a good time". I want to have and be a meaningful companion to a wonderful human being. Needless to say I really do have issues with the dating culture in the US, but I still feel that I can find that special someone, it's just that I have to put on strong filters and build my confidence up.

@Ringo Growth is not inclusive to love though. A good friendship have the aspect you mention as well, by the same magnitude I think. I mean a real friendship where people push each other and support each other to succeed. So where do you draw the line of friends and love. I disagree about the part that you need to think more about it. One way love confession sucks for both side sure. Probably even worst for the person who is being confessed at because he/she isn't ready for it and not expecting that at all. The act of confessing itself is meant to be the tool to confirm each other feelings, so I don't see why one would need to think dwell on the act itself. Wouldn't it be best for both side to just get to the bottom of it, confess, no! and then they can carry on with their life, finding another love rather then dwell oh I shouldn't confess because it would hurt him/her and stuck in an unrequited one sided love that would mean a missed chances for the other to find and explore other opportunities? Mango done it nicely on her first post while I know it sucks for her to brake it to the guys, at least now people can move on. @jlreid28 What do you mean by issues with dating culture in the US?

@Riolis I never said that growth is inclusive only to love, but the context of this thread is romantic relationships. Can we just at least agree on that? Also, in a perfect world, confessions should just be a happy-go-lucky, YOLO kind of thing for people. And that rejection is something that all of us should not be afraid of and not fixate on. But I am well aware of some form of abuse or violence that happens to people who outright reject another person. I am also aware that sometimes, people who get rejected dwell too much on it that they fear falling in love again. It would be easy to just not care at all and just live and let each other live, but based on my experiences and the experiences of people I know, this sometimes just doesn't work out. Emphasis on MY (and those I know) experiences, okay? Remember that context is key here. :)