Don't really like myself.......

You Will find someone I know at times im not the best looking or the smartest person but I have had my fair hare of women in my life right now been working on something just got dumped not too long ago lol

Pfffft ignore those rat bastard mean people crawling around like roaches. It's good to express how you feel instead of keeping it all inside :|

Ah, memories, but I digress... I went through a tumoltous time in my life, only to be heard by myself... I remember waking one night, pitying my existence after years of dealing with severe depression and just breaking down... I wrote a long letter to my family and was going to get my dad's shot gun so I could just end it. Then an epiphiny hit me... Why should I choose (There's always a choice. ) to be so weak when there's much joy I had yet to of experienced in life? I mean, I could've blamed my genetics, luck or even god, but at the end of it it was and is my choice if I choose to be strong or weak. Life is not set in stone, it truly is what you make of it. I set my destiny. If I choose to give up, I fail and hurt many more than just myself. I have enough to deal with even now, but I know I'm stronger than even I give myself credit for and trust me, so are you. You sound so much like a guy I used to go to church with (When I did...) years ago. I remember what a difference it made for him when a small group of us just talked to him one day as he was telling us how just that morning he was planning on killing himself... Surround yourself by those who care, but never confuse coddling for caring. Sometimes the best loving medicine is literally a swift kick in the ass to get you to realize a few things. l know this thread is old, but who knows? You or ssomeone else may just need to rethink a few things.

Nods yaasshat. I had a similar revelation when someone was coaxing me through deaths door. You always have a choice no matter how bad you feel and can change things. If your will is not yet strong you have to get yourself around those who can help guide you to find it. Sometimes it is comfort or tough love. Taking the first step is never easy but worth the journey when you find freedom. Life is a work in progress to the last second.