Curiousity

Hey everyone like the title suggests im curious about something. That something is how do you guys and girls feel when you get swarmed by a bunch of people trying to "hit" on you or just plain try to get to know you. I know for most people it can be nerve-racking to try to introduce yourself only to get no response most of the time said people think for a while on what to say other than a simple hello. So im just curious how it is from everyones viewpoint. Also do you people think that it is harder to find a boyfriend or girlfriend when you already have children?

I don't know about being talked to first, but I always just try to say or ask something in a silly and/or random way related to their info to people instead of saying the default "Hello" or "Welcome" on some pages. Because I know they probably get enough of that as it is. As for the second question, I don't know. But I do avoid dating any woman with a child, unless I really like that person. Which only happened once, but we was together for six months before she told me she had a child and I really didn't care by that point.

Hmm the fact that she didnt tell you until 6 months means she might have been scared you wouldnt be interested in here or even give her the time of day i suppose in a lot of cases it is true that someone is "turned off" by the fact that someone has children but only to the initial point. Err i feel like a smartass talking like this and using these words XD but now i wonder if its the same way for woman like do woman find little to no interest in men with children?

I honestly could not give a first hand experience of the first question just for the fact I've never had a swarm of girls hit on me. Id be flattered if just one did. XD As far as the second question goes, usually yes it's tougher for single parents to get back into the dating game versus adults with no kids. Someone with a child has a major time and energy commitment to raising their child not to mention some people don't want to deal with kids if they're not their own. Not all single parents are undatable by any stretch, but you're behind the eight ball a bit having kids from previous relationships compared to someone who doesnt have that major a commitment to a child.

It seems to be a turn off for most since that's not their kid and even then there's some who are unwilling to take care of them. In this case, for me, I don't mind. If I was with either genders who had children and taking care of them as a single parent, it won't bother me until I confirm that I'm being used. Other then that, I supposed I'll take care of the children as if they are my own.

Also. I think for some people don't want to date a person with a child is because that person will always be second to the child, will have to be really careful with the child than normal, or not getting upset if the child ruins something of yours. Or all three. Children tends to make the relation a little more harder than other ones. You're just walking on even thinner ice.

Online, it can get a little strenuous having to manage more than five conversations at once when I get blasted by friend requests. But eventually I have to disappear for four days (Work), and by the time I get back, most seem to trail off to find others to talk to, and aren't quite as fast. As for real life, this has happened a few times but unless I am mistaken, its still countable on one hand. And generally, I handle it comfortably in my usual asexual, fun loving sort of approach, since it immediately takes any sexual connotation out of the conversation (This has saved me more than once, since for whatever reason, under age girls always seem to think I'm sixteen. >__< ) which allows the conversation to churn in a more "Getting to know each other" and humorous sort of direction. And once I get to know them, (assuming I've IDed all of them to make sure they're over 18) and I find there is one I might be interested in, I probably will attempt flirtation, and I will probably fail, since I'm a terrible flirt, but as long as everyone finds it funny, I can always switch back. Onto the child subject, its definitely harder for a single mom than a single dad. Women are attracted to masculine figures who show good fatherly traits. As for Men... Well, there is a biological aversion that we get which stems from somewhere in our line of psychological evolution when we see a female that has children who aren't our own, so I'm sure there might be some very good reason why mother nature made so shallow and slapped that double standard on us. That said, I don't mean to say either gender has it easy. Good luck putting yourself out there. Humans are expensive and time consuming to raise.

The first part, I have no trouble introducing myself online, but I generally don't. I find a lot of people tend to randomly add/talk to me instead. Whether we start talking of not really depends on what they say/do; a lot of them don't even bother to message. In person I'm less comfortable introducing myself, so again conversation depends on the person talking to me. Whether I interact or not depends on my gut reaction to them. If I don't like them the conversation doesn't last long. As for children, I would imagine it does. It all depends on the person you meet, it's a serious commitment to be with someone and their children, you pretty much need approval from all sides. Not to mention a lot of people may not want the added burden of children that aren't theirs, it could also be complicated if they want children of their own too. I just assume though, no experience in this.

Yeah. I suck at both ends of the spectrum.. I usually will never engage in communication as the initiator of the conversation unless drunk. So they approach me invariably and I kind of just give one or two word responses and try to not seem nervous till it's over. I haven't been good at flirting or socializing since High School. And as for children yes I too agree with Manga on the probable extra complexity children implies. It could be absolutely no problem though- like everything, depends on the nature of the person.

As for the first question about being swarmed and hit on by girls, it depends on the situation. I've been hit on by a swarm of young teenage girls when I was in my twenties and I thought it was just cute. But when I get hit on by a swarm of developed women I shut down. My brain short circuits and I don't know what to do. I can go from confident and assertive to "Eh? Ehhhhhh? I uh...Ehhhh?" http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mB9C-Hwom1w/UlRPty8ed-I/AAAAAAAAVmA/JpCMKcVmwRo/s640/anime-free-Favim.com-971933.gif As for your second question. Yes, it is especially difficult for women with a child to find a new mate. The reason? It goes all the way to animal instincts. Men want to pass down their genetic material, and entering a relationship with a woman already with child, he is agreeing to be the caregiver of another male's offspring. As for the woman it is slightly different. The male has already demonstrated that he is virile enough to produce offspring. Not only that he demonstrates his ability to care for said offspring.